This Is Not A Drill
by Pellegrina
Summary: From Blue Bird to Love Birds - the events following THE KISS seen mostly from Lisbon's POV. Looks like the story of their love continues to grow... M-rated. Cover image by Austinpd1.
1. Chapter 1

**I couldn't help myself - I had to write my own continuation of Blue Bird... At the moment it's a one-shot seen mostly from Lisbon's POV, but I can very well see this growing into something bigger... This chapter is T-rated but should this turn into a longer fic, it's going to turn M-rated at some point - that it isn't already is a bit of a miracle, but my excuse is that Jane and Lisbon had a bit of a rough night at the airport... ;-)**

**Oh, and I'm sorry about the title. I couldn't find a meaningful one, so in the end I just went with my working title...**

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**Disclaimer: Bruno is god - I'm merely a penniless disciple...**

* * *

**This Is Not A Drill**

After the kiss that would forever redefine the meaning of the word kiss for Lisbon their wordless exchange of pure adoration and love shared in a look so intense it almost made them both climax, was rather rudely interrupted by the door of the interrogation room swinging open so violently it hit the wall.

"You said, you wanted to question the perpetrator, Special Agent Lisbon. This is completely inappropriate," the Transportation Security Officer who'd witnessed their kiss through the window, complained angrily.

"With all due respect," Lisbon answered, unable to quell the happy smile on her face and so giddy that she couldn't maintain any part of her stern cop persona at the moment, "but I got exactly the answers I was looking for."

Jane couldn't help but chuckle.

"This man committed a serious security breach and we can't fully exclude the possibility that he was planning to commit an act of terrorism. As an FBI agent you should know that this is a serious offense and he might be a threat to national security. I have no idea what they teach you at the FBI these days but…" the TSA official continued, only to be interrupted by supervising agent Abbott who'd just entered the room.

"Sorry to cut you short, officer, but let's be realistic here. Mr. Jane is a consultant with the FBI as I've already told you on the phone. He's a valued member of my team. He came here in an official FBI vehicle and with my express permission." Abbott stepped up beside Jane and cast him a stern look. "I wasn't aware that he'd elide airport security and Mr. Jane will of course face disciplinary measures for it. But I can assure you that his intentions were in no way of a nefarious nature. I also happen to know that you never even did a security inspection of the aircraft after our initial conversation which implies that you believed me right away when I vouched for Mr. Jane. So if we could resolve this matter in a reasonable way and in the spirit of inter-agency cooperation, I'd be very grateful."

The TS officer didn't look entirely convinced. "I don't know if I can do that, Agent Abbott. This woman," he pointed at Lisbon, "who also claims to be part of the FBI and your team, showed such unprofessional behavior that I'm seriously doubting your abilities to keep your team in line."

"It's not your place to decide that, Officer Hartman. If you're inclined to cause problems and refuse to cooperate, I'd rather talk with your superior and clear this up at the appropriate rank level," Abbott replied in his coldest command voice.

"I'm sure my boss will fully agree with me," the TS officer retorted with a very stubborn glint in his eyes.

"If I may add…" Jane chimed in.

"I think, it would be in your best interest to keep your mouth shut, Mr. Jane," Abbott warned him.

"But Dennis, I really think our poor Mr. Hartman here is misreading the situation completely and is operating under a serious misconception," Jane explained, his eyes pleading with his boss to let him continue.

"I'm sure, I don't." Hartman huffed.

Jane cast him a sunny smile. "Oh, but you do. Look, I really don't want you to get in trouble with your superior. But if you insist to get him involved, I'm very afraid it could mean the end of your career, my friend. No one here wants that, right?"

Lisbon, Abbott, and Hartman looked at Jane as if he'd lost his mind. "Excuse me but how am I the one in trouble here, man?" the TS officer inquired in an irritated tone.

The FBI consultant smiled merrily (which made both Abbott and Lisbon feel a sense of dread) and said, "Well, take a look at me. Do I look like an athlete to you?"

Hartman's brow furrowed. "What kind of inane question is that? I really don't have time to deal with your crap."

"I take that as a no," Jane replied, looking very cheery and completely unfazed. "And I still took it upon myself to subject your security measures to a thorough test. Without regard to my personal health, I might add. Almost heroic, if I dare say so."

Lisbon and Abbott both did their best to repress a groan and the urge to snort. The TS officer seemed to have entered a state of open-mouthed shock.

Jane went on, unperturbed by their reactions. "And even without being an athlete – as we've previously established – I easily succeeded to conquer what little security you seem to deem enough to keep unwanted intruders away. Intruders like these vicious terrorist with all that rigorous training they're allegedly getting in these horrible camps we're reading about in the papers all the time. I mean, it was a piece of cake to get onto that plane and to bypass security. A piece of cake, really."

Lisbon cast a pointed look at his injured ankle which was resting on a chair again but she couldn't stop herself from showing her amusement. Jane winked at her. Abbott watched their exchange and shook his head.

Redirecting his gaze at officer Hartman, Jane continued, "I must say that this incident has made me lose quite a bit of confidence and faith in our Transport Security systems. " He looked very worried. "Makes one very uneasy using this mode of transportation to be honest. It's a scandal, really, come to think of it. I mean, I of course, being an FBI consultant on a mission, I was perfectly justified to hop over that little fence. But just imagine for a second that I'd been a real criminal and not someone graciously testing your airport security systems! Just imagine what could've happened at some point in the future if I hadn't called this to your attention!"

He released a deep, exaggerated sigh of relief. "But now you know where the real weaknesses are in your system and you can adjust them accordingly and all before anything threatening has happened. No need to alert your superiors and make them aware of the lax way in which security has been handled at this facility until now. Just plug the holes, close the security lapses, repair the breaches, eliminate the vulnerabilities. No harm done."

He grinned smugly. "Oh, and you don't even need to thank me. You're very welcome, officer. Though I have to say that your accommodations leave a lot to be desired. I asked for tea more than five hours ago and alas, I'm still waiting for my cuppa."

Abbott hid his face behind his hands, not sure whether to laugh out loud or throttle his consultant. Jane had just either bought himself yet another jail-free card or made things so bad that his superior would have a hard time getting him out of that mess. As of yet the supervising agent had no idea which one it would be.

Lisbon was slowly losing her fight to keep a half-way serious face. God, how she loved that idiot and his insolence was – she had to admit that – hilarious when it wasn't her job to get him out of the consequences. He looked so adorable being all smug and pretending to read that poor TS officer the riot act, turning himself into the victim instead of the perp, and she wished with all her might that his newest scheme would actually get them out of there as fast as possible because she felt an almost irresistible urge to kiss the hell out of him. No, life with Jane would definitely never be boring and she'd enjoy every second of it (well, almost every second).

* * *

Officer Hartman had been made head of security of the North Terminal six months ago and it had been a moment of deep pride for him. He'd worked hard for the promotion and even his family life had suffered for it. But it had all been worth it when the head of airport security had given him this new, responsible position (which included a considerable raise in income as well) and finally Hartman had been able to relent to his wife's wishes and bought the nice three bedroom home they had always dreamed of, one with a small garden perfect for their son to play in.

Jane hadn't known all those details of course, but it hadn't been too hard for him to gather from Hartman's behavior that he was relatively new at the job and wasn't all that established in his position. It had been enough for him to find a weak spot and jump in – both literally about six or seven hours ago and metaphorically speaking just minutes ago. Now Jane cast the officer a reassuring smile and exuded an air of friendliness and understanding, paired with a slightly conspiratorial glint in his eyes to express that he was perfectly willing to overlook all the injustice that had been done to him and give Hartman a chance to redeem himself.

To the amused astonishment of Abbott and the relief of Lisbon it actually worked. "If you put it like that," Hartman said with a pained expression, his eyes casting an almost imploring look at the highest ranking person in the room. "Would it be alright to deal with this discreetly and on the quiet, Agent Abbott? That would be in both of our interests, right, Sir?"

"Absolutely," the dark-skinned man answered jovially. "No need to make an unnecessary fuss, Officer. I'll just take Mr. Jane and agent Lisbon with me and we'll forget this whole mess ever happened. You can tell your staff that this was a security check and that Mr. Jane was on an undercover mission sanctioned by the Air Marshals and that an FBI agent had been placed on the plane as an additional safety measure too." With a stern look he added, "And that fence needs serious improvement, Officer. My consultant is the antipode of a trained agent and if he can get over that thing, anyone could."

"Hey," Jane complained, but had the sense of self-preservation to keep his mouth shut at the look of warning he got from his boss.

"Yes, sir," Hartman answered dutifully. "I'll make it my top priority to ensure that no similar incident could ever take place again and I'm very grateful for your discretion."

Abbott gave a friendly nod and stepped over to the still sitting Jane. "You able to walk?"

"I'm not sure," the consultant admitted.

"Come on," his boss said and hauled him up on his feet, being careful to support some of Jane's weight. Jane made a tentative attempt to take a step. He smiled and signaled that he was fine and only Lisbon who had known him long enough to see through most of his game faces realized that he was in a great deal of pain and only pretending to be okay for the sake of the TS officer. And probably also to get out of that dark, depressing interrogation room as fast as possible. Though Lisbon had to admit that she would always remember it fondly as the place of the first kiss she'd shared with the man she'd been head over heels in love with for years.

And it hadn't just been a kiss. To her it had been a revelation because nothing in her life had ever felt like this, had ignited every nerve ending in her and made her come alive in a way she'd only read about in trashy romance novels. She'd always assumed that it was nothing but a fictional cliché. Obviously she'd just never kissed the right person before. Kissing Marcus had sure as hell never done to her even a sliver of what she'd felt when Jane's lips had met hers and that despite the fact that their location couldn't have been any less romantic. And the way he'd looked at her afterwards had done very funny things to her heart and her stomach and if it hadn't been for that stupid TS officer she was pretty sure, she'd jumped over that damn table and kissed the breath out of Jane. That would have to wait a while longer but she would do it again, a lot – that was a given.

In passing she saw her reflection in the window. Somehow an almost absurdly happy smile she'd never seen before had decided to become a permanent fixture on her face without her noticing but she had no regrets.

* * *

Outside the sun was high in the sky telling Lisbon that the night had long since surrendered to day. After a sleepless night and all the time in the rather gloomy room the light seemed to hurt Jane's sour eyes and made him blink, and she could take a good guess judging from her own state how utterly exhausted he probably was both physically and emotionally. His foot was also causing him quite a bit of pain, she surmised. It looked like it was only the pure happiness in his soul fueling his steps.

She realized that she'd become quite the expert reading him because she could even recognize how he was trying his best not to let his companions see that he was barely able to keep himself upright. They entered the parking lot and the way in which he sank down onto the backseat of the SUV Abbott had used to come to the airport confirmed her suspicions.

"Jane needs to see a doctor," Lisbon told Abbott outside of the car and out of hearing range from Jane.

"But he is doing alright," her boss answered with raised brows.

Lisbon snorted. "Believe me, he's not. Let me handle him, sir. He's even more of a pain than usual when the word hospital comes up. What's the plan anyway?"

"Get into the car and I'll tell the both of you together, agent," her superior replied, motioning with his head to the rear of the SUV.

* * *

Abbott got into the driver's seat and Lisbon joined Jane in the back. The consultant looked half asleep and his face was ashen.

"Well, Jane, be very glad that you actually solved that old case or I would have had to hang you by your intestines for falsifying evidence and for several other infringements like waste of taxpayers' money and such. But as it is, DC is happy and thus I'm happy and you're probably in for a recommendation from somewhere very high up." He shook his head. "I can't believe how you always manage to get out of these pickles."

Jane only succeeded to utter a token chuckle, too exhausted to engage in any verbal contest with his boss, but still ending up with a big, happy smile on his face remembering a certain other, rather recent talk about pickles.

Abbott cast a look over his shoulder and couldn't help but be satisfied with what he saw. His best asset looked happy (albeit extremely exhausted) for the first time in weeks and was holding hands with the agent the dark-skinned supervisor had come to value as one of the best he'd ever met and had hated to see go. Said agent looked just as happy as his consultant and blushed forcefully when she realized that her boss's eyes were resting on her hand that was firmly intertwined with another, bigger one.

"I've also received another call from DC," Abbott continued, now addressing Lisbon. "Seems like I'm the lucky one who gets to keep you on the team, Teresa. Don isn't happy at all. He'd been very eager to get you into his clutches – a homicide detective with such a terrific success rate and so much experience."

He watched in contentment how the woman blushed an even darker shade of red at the compliment. "That being said, it'll take a few days to reinstate you, I'm afraid. But maybe that's all for the best considering that my consultant decided to play acrobat and will obviously be on sick leave for a while and needs someone to help him out for a few days. Would you be willing to volunteer for that dreadful job, agent? Even off the payroll?" Abbott smiled benignly, not doubting the nature of her answer even for a second.

"Maybe I could be convinced to do that," Lisbon replied with an amused grin, casting a sideways glance at the beaming man beside her. "When will our flight leave for Austin, Sir?"

"Fischer, Cho, and I will leave in a few hours. You two, however, aren't booked on a flight yet. I had no way of knowing whether I'd get that idiot," he nodded in Jane's direction, "out of this mess in time and neither did I know until quite recently that I'll get to keep you around, agent Lisbon. So I'd suggest that you return to the Blue Bird Lodge and spend a few days resting and recuperating – on Jane's account of course. As you'll be nursing him, Lisbon, you'll have to share a room, I'm afraid, also because Jane's room is still a crime scene at the moment. Now we'll get our athlete here to the closest emergency room, have his ankle checked and get a sick leave slip for him."

"I don't need a doctor," Jane protested.

Lisbon glared at him. "Yes, you do and don't you try to fool me. It won't work," she said sternly but added softly, "I don't want to see you in pain, Jane."

"Okay," the blond man answered unexpectedly meekly, giving Lisbon a first glimpse at the kind of power she'd obviously gained over the stubborn, independent man next to her, now that their relationship had changed. It filled her with a deep sense of affection and she resolved herself to make sure that he'd be very well taken care of from now on. She had no doubt that he'd do the same for her.

* * *

Four hours later found Jane standing in the middle of Lisbon's old room – now their shared one – at the Blue Bird Lodge. The trip to the hospital had revealed that he'd managed to lacerate a capsule in his right ankle joint and would have to wear a splint for a few weeks and he had gotten a pair of crutches because he was supposed to keep off that foot until the swelling was down. They would also need to go shoe shopping very soon as the splint didn't really seem to agree with his beloved old, brown ones. Lisbon had had a good laugh at Jane's expense when it had become obvious that a pair of sneakers would soon have to join Jane's limited wardrobe and she used the opportunity to add several pairs of socks to the verbal shopping list. The look on Jane's face had been priceless.

Despite the fact that Jane's old room was still a crime scene Abbott had managed to have Cho remove Jane's things from it. Cho had delivered the bag to Jane in person just after they'd arrived from the hospital and right before the rest of their party had to leave for Austin. Cho had looked somewhat shell-shocked and hadn't been able to stop himself from showing visible signs of disbelief on his normally stoic face when he'd encountered his former boss ruffling their consultant's hair in a gesture that no one could possibly call sibling like. Lisbon had been amused to realize that their friend had turned out to be so utterly clueless about the nature of their feelings for each other. "I really love him, Cho," she'd offered. "Have done for years actually. And vice versa."

"None of my business," the Asian agent had mumbled. Then he'd turned in Jane's direction and had added in an imperturbable tone, "Hurt her and that ankle," he had pointed to the swollen, discolored one, "will be the least damaged part of your anatomy." He'd left immediately afterwards.

Things had turned slightly awkward after that.

* * *

"I should probably take a shower or something," Jane said with a sigh, sniffing his armpit with disgust. "After all that running and climbing and sitting around in that musty room, I mean."

Lisbon chuckled. "You're not THAT gross, Jane. But if you want a spot in my bed you better clean up a bit. You're a mess," she teased. She stepped closer and added in a more serious tone, "Are you up to it though? You look like you're about to faint and I don't know if I trust you with these crutches in the shower."

"I'll just have to find out," he replied.

With a slightly halting voice and a blush she said, "Would it be alright if, well, if… I mean, I could help you, maybe. You know, so you don't slip and break your neck or something."

Jane took a few steps and sat down in an armchair, too tired to keep himself upright on the crutches any longer. He sighed while he started to remove his left shoe and sock – the right foot was bare already. "That's not exactly the way I'd imagined you to see me naked for the first time," he admitted sheepishly. "But I guess it suits us in a way. Nothing's ever gonna be normal with us, right?"

Lisbon followed him to the chair and sat down on the armrest. Their gazes met. "We've known each other for so long, Jane. To me it feels kind of natural. I know it's not exactly romantic or anything. But I don't mind. I want to take care of you. That's meaningful too, isn't it?"

"I suppose," he said. "Just makes me feel a bit inadequate to be honest." He looked bashful and she sensed there was a lot more meaning to that statement than the mere words expressed.

"What do you mean with that? How's that being inadequate? You're hurt and as your partner I'm gonna help you out. No reason to feel bad about it, or is there?" she inquired.

He sighed. "It's nothing, really," he said.

She slapped his arm lightly. "What happened to being honest with me? If we want to make this work, we'll have to share these things. Something's obviously bothering you. Out with it, Jane!"

Jane started to unbutton his shirt while he tried to gather enough courage to confess what was really on his mind. She sensed his unease and gave him the time he needed. His shirt hanging open he finally started, his eyes averted, his voice soft and hesitant. The sight of his toned, graceful chest distracted her so much she almost missed his first words. "It's just that I'm a tad, shall we say, insecure. I mean, you're obviously a very beautiful woman, Teresa. And you're taking great care of yourself whilst I, as we've already established today, am not exactly an athlete. I know, I'm not fat or anything and I spent quite a bit of time in Venezuela swimming and I've done a few laps here and there in Austin too, so I'm not entirely unfit or flabby. But you've just been with a trained FBI agent and, well… I… I expected your first glance at me to be clouded by my irresistible powers of seduction or something like that. You know, so you would be distracted and…"

He was interrupted by Lisbon's disbelieving burst of laughter. "Oh my god!" she managed to get out in-between hysterical giggles. "You think you won't measure up? That's what this is all about?" She snorted, still fighting to regain her poise and losing the battle. She saw that her outburst didn't exactly help any and that the normally smug man beside her looked truly uncomfortable but she couldn't stop herself. Maybe that night full of emotional ups and downs, the lack of sleep, the last weeks that had felt like a constant rollercoaster of feelings had finally caught up with her. Whatever it was, she was unable to control herself.

How could that perceptive man be so idiotic sometimes? How could he not know that she desired him like she'd never desired anything or anyone? That the mere thought of his graceful hands could arouse her and make her crave his touch in the worst ways possible? How even now the mere sight of his naked chest had made her wet her panties? That she'd more than once dreamt of that shapely butt of his and that she loved to walk behind him just to be able to ogle it to her heart's desire without him calling her out on it? That she'd fantasized about his other body parts for years and that whenever he'd rolled up his sleeves she'd almost drooled over his shapely arms and his skin that looked so soft she'd have loved to caress it for hours? And his hair, how she craved to bury her hands in those delicious curls of his! And she loved the way he smelled, the way he walked so gracefully and smooth. His voice could melt her heart too, especially that gentle, husky, soft tone he only ever seemed to use when talking to her.

She shook her head, partly to clear it, partly because she was still full of disbelief that Jane truly doubted his own attractiveness. And then on impulse she moved herself from the armrest of the chair onto his lap and used the moment of surprise and shock he experienced at her unexpected action to push his open shirt off his shoulders and down his arms as much as possible in their position, restraining his arms in the process.

He smelled a bit musky and sweaty and she didn't mind it at all. On the contrary it touched something primal inside of her and she started to pepper his chest with kisses and licks, inhaling his unique flavor in the process. This was her man, her mate and he was all hers. She heard him moan and in a gesture of surrender he let his head fall back exposing his throat. It incited her even more. She felt a sudden urge to claim him and by sheer instinct she buried her teeth in the juncture between his neck and shoulder and bit him – enough to leave teeth marks but not enough to truly hurt him. He groaned loudly and wiggled his arms free of his shirt so he could bury his hands in her hair, pressing her into him. She kissed the spot where she'd bitten him to soothe away any remaining pain, a bit shocked at her own, unrestraint behavior, but there was no real regret. It all felt right somehow.

Both were breathless for a while and had to regain some composure. Their eyes connected and both grinned. "That was unexpected," Jane finally whispered his hand caressing her cheek. "Where did that come from?"

"You're mine," Lisbon growled. "And I desire you. Just wanted to let you know." She blushed when she fully realized what she'd just done and said and how it must've sounded, all possessive and almost animalistic.

He chuckled and continued his fondling. "I'm not complaining, my dear, far from it. I always suspected that you're a very passionate lover. But you sure surprised me this time." He hurried to add, "In a good way."

"I'm not sure what came over me," she admitted sheepishly. "I've never done anything like this before."

"I'm glad," he said. "It means that we just shared a real first."

Their lips met in a deep kiss that had them both panting in no time. She broke it before it could get too much out of hand, already sensing his erection pressing against her stomach. "We shouldn't do this right now," she said breathlessly. "We're both in no shape to follow it through and I want to be able to really enjoy our first time. Come on, let's get you cleaned up and then into bed. We both need some rest, Jane."

"I love you so much, Teresa," was his only reply, a look of pure adoration on his face, the one she'd seen a few times already today and wouldn't ever get tired of.

* * *

She realized in that moment that she'd yet to return the sentiment – at least outright. Somehow it hadn't felt right back in the interrogation room. His heartfelt confession on the plane had been so much more than a simple "I love you". It had expressed his feelings of insecurity and his relief because he'd finally been able to break down the walls around his heart and overcome his fears. He'd bared his soul for her, truly given her his heart to do with what she felt was right for her. It had taken the hours she'd been forced to wait before she could see him for her to fully comprehend what he'd done, what it really meant, and how humbling it had been to witness the moment in which that beautiful man had taken maybe the most important and most courageous step in his life.

And she had also realized that a lot of what he'd said was just as valid for her – even if it was in a different way. Because she'd been a coward too. And she'd lied to herself and to Marcus just because she had been scared to risk her heart and go for what she really wanted. It hadn't been a conscious lie, but she had known that she wasn't in love with Marcus all along. She could at least admit that. It had been the easy and the safe option – though only in the beginning. When the whole DC matter had been added into the mix, things had become a lot more complicated. And weird if she was being honest.

The phone call to Marcus she'd made right after leaving the plane to inform him that she wouldn't come to DC after all had only cemented how weird it really was. He had been disappointed of course, but he'd sounded more like someone losing a game than a love interest. They had decided to speak again and clear the air in a few days. He would be in Austin next week to tie up some loose ends and they'd meet in person then and have a serious conversation. She had however made it clear to him that she wasn't going to reconsider her decision and that her staying in Austin was final.

She knew she would need to do quite a bit of soul-searching in the near future, maybe share some serious talks with Jane to figure out what had happened over the last weeks and how she'd ended up with a fiancé she didn't love or want and a job in another city. But now wasn't the time for it.

What she had discovered already during her time waiting at the airport was that she not only shared Jane's feelings of love but also the need to see him every day, as well as the fears connected with this important change in their relationship. Thus it had felt a lot more fitting to tell him that she felt the same way instead of using that certain three-word-phrase. Now however the situation was a lot different…

With one hand she cupped his cheek, her thumb caressing it gently. She locked eyes with him. "I love you too, Patrick," she replied, stumbling a bit over his given name. He had always been her Jane and he would always remain her Jane. To her it was more than anything a term of endearment anyway, but she conceded that there might be occasions when his first name seemed more appropriate somehow.

His smile turned even more beaming if possible and she enjoyed to sense with her hand how this caused his whole face to feel different. She pecked him on his lips and said, "Come on, Jane. Let's get you all clean and shiny."

* * *

She got up from his lap and helped him to his feet, mindful of his injured ankle. She handed him the crutches and carried his bag into the spacious en suite. He followed her. She sat his things on the counter beside the sink and stepped over to him afterwards. He was about to take a seat on the lock of the toilet but she stopped him. "Let me help you with your pants first. You'll have a hard time opening it with the crutches in your hands and you won't be able to pull them down while you sit either," she explained.

He acknowledged her words with a nod. She was pretty sure that he was still quite aroused so she was careful with him. Their heated, emotional encounter on the armchair had changed something between them, she realized. He seemed perfectly fine with her undressing him and she didn't feel any awkwardness either. And though the sight of his bare torso was still very arousing, right now it felt natural to just touch him casually and without any sexual intentions. It didn't stop her from admiring the rest of the gorgeous body she was now divesting.

As she had suspected he had well-shaped, beautiful legs and the erection proudly standing at attention was thick and elegant and just as gorgeous as the rest of him. Making love with him would be incredible – of that she was sure. And he had nothing to be ashamed of, absolutely nothing. He wasn't very muscular, that much was true. But he was toned enough and looked like he was sculptured out of the finest marble money could buy – hardly any hair covering him, only a light, soft down on his legs, his chest totally devoid of it. She liked that – a lot.

Marcus had been a lot more hairy and to be honest – she hadn't really appreciated it. And if she was even more honest, the whole physical aspect of that relationship had been kind of meh – to use a Jane phrase. In hindsight she had to admit that a lot about her interaction with Marcus had been that way. There'd never been any real passion. It became even more glaringly obvious now that she felt more aroused than she'd ever been with Pike just from looking at Jane in a still more or less innocent way.

"Do I pass inspection?" Jane's voice pulled her out of her deep thoughts. "It's not that I don't enjoy your attention but I'd really like to sit down for a bit. This whole crutch thingy is more exhausting than it looks."

She looked a bit sheepish and continued to pull down his pants enough so he could do the rest by himself sitting down. "Sorry. I got lost in my mind for a moment."

"No problem," Jane replied and finally took a seat on the toilet lock with an expression of relief. "Though I seriously hope that face you pulled in the end wasn't caused by, well, by what you just uncovered," he remarked – only half jokingly she sensed – while he proceeded to get rid of the rest of his clothing.

She bent down, pecked his cheek and stepped over to the big bath tub. While she started to draw a bath she replied, "Stop worrying, Patrick. You're all I could ever wish for and more." She blushed a bit afterwards but she didn't care. It was true after all. He was gorgeous to her. Perfect. And while she would normally hesitate to compliment him that openly, afraid to stroke his overdeveloped ego, she instinctively knew that in this case his fears were very real to him and that he needed some reassurance. Furthermore, deep down she'd always known that he wasn't half as cocky as he liked to appear and it was warming her heart beyond measure that he was comfortable enough to let her see his insecurity.

* * *

When the bath tub was filled and Lisbon had added one of the essences the hotel offered which didn't smell too feminine, she helped Jane into the water. She caught him by surprise when she started to shed her clothes the moment he'd been safely placed in the tub. He obviously admired what she revealed, openly staring. His adoration made her feel wonderful, all desirable and powerful.

"God, you are beautiful," he whispered with reference when she stood in front of him in all of her naked glory.

She smiled and motioned for him to move a bit so she could join him. She sat down between his outstretched legs and rested her back against his chest. The tub was big enough so both of them very fully enclosed in the warm water. His arms came around her chest and he rested them on her stomach, caressing her lightly. It felt like coming home.

They didn't talk, just enjoyed the company and the relaxing warmth surrounding them and seeping through them. They nearly fell asleep that way but Lisbon prevented it in the nick of time. With their last energy they cleaned each other with a washcloth, enjoying the chance to explore the other gently and thoroughly. There was nothing really sexual about it but it felt more satisfying to Lisbon than any sexual act she'd ever engaged in. It felt natural, comfortable, peaceful, intimate, familiar, and fulfilling in a way that she'd never known before. She decided that judging from this their sex would probably blow her mind completely.

She helped him out of the tub afterwards and dried him tenderly. She found boxer shorts and a t-shirt for him in his bag and after he'd brushed his teeth, he had barely enough strength left to drag himself over to the bed. She was fading fast too and after she'd finished in the bathroom it took her only moments to fall asleep in his arms.

* * *

**The End?**

* * *

**Your comments are very welcome and much appreciated!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: To be honest I'm actually pretty nervous about this second chapter. I've never gotten as much positive response before as I did for the first chapter and now I hope I won't disappoint all your great expectations. Many thanks for all the overwhelmingly nice feedback by the way, especially to the guest reviewers who I couldn't thank personally. I truly appreciate all the kind words and the encouragement. You all made me really happy. Now I can only hope that you'll enjoy the next installment too...  
**

**This chapter is definitely M-rated.**

* * *

**This Is Not A Drill - Two**

Lisbon found herself totally entangled with Jane's limbs when she woke up to a growling stomach and a full bladder. Outside it was dark and she surmised that they'd slept through the whole afternoon and part of the evening. Her partner was still out like a light. A ray of light from the lanterns illuminating the outside of the resort coming through the vitreous balcony door fell on Jane's face, giving her the chance to study his handsome features close-up. He looked relaxed in his sleep, a happy smile played about his lips but she could still see what she'd refused herself to acknowledge for weeks: he looked exhausted and the worry lines on his face had grown deeper ever since she'd started to go out with Marcus.

Despite what Jane had said whenever asked about the subject – he'd not been the least bit happy and the only thing that had probably kept him going through it all had been his strong belief that she would stay in Austin anyway – re-enforced by her own refusal to share her plans with him and address matters between them head-on. Seeing him now showed her how utterly exhausted he was. Maybe he'd even had a few visits from his old friend insomnia. She would have to ask him.

Driven by her urge to use the bathroom and her hunger she disentangled her legs and arms from his as carefully as possible, trying her best not to wake him. She succeeded but his whimper at the loss of contact with her almost broke her heart. His hands reached out and seemed to look for her and his face contorted into an expression of sadness when his subconscious transmitted the information of her absence into his sleeping mind. It made her bend over and caress his cheek, soothing him, trying to make it better.

His reaction with immediate and filled her heart with a sense of deep tenderness: his features relaxed and his beautiful smile came back. He mumbled something unintelligible in his sleep which she decided could very well have been "Lisbon". It made her grin.

Satisfied that he was back in happy dreamland, she got up for real. A look on her watch revealed that it was already past 10 pm. No wonder she was hungry. And if she was, Jane would be too as soon as he woke up – probably more so than her. She had no idea when he'd last eaten. She'd had a bite at the airport and also a sandwich at the hospital while she'd been waiting for him. As far as she knew, Jane hadn't had anything at all that day.

With new resolve she relieved herself and put on some clothes in the en suite, got her key card, and went downstairs to the lobby, trying to find out whether the hotel kitchen still served any food at this time of day. She learned that it had its definite perks to be with the FBI sometimes. Though the kitchen officially closed at 10, the chef was still there and offered to whip something up for her and Jane – to be delivered to their room half an hour later. Very pleased with the result of her little expedition she went back upstairs.

When she opened the door her carefree mood vanished at once as she stared into the red rimmed, devastated eyes of her partner.

* * *

When Jane had woken up once during the early hours of the evening, he'd been the happiest man alive: the woman he loved with all of his damaged but healing heart was draped all over him, her legs entangled with his, her even breath tickling his neck. He'd only been conscious for a glorious moment, inhaling the scent of Lisbon, the most precious fragrance he knew – the smell of home. It had led him back into a state of restful sleep almost immediately.

The second time he woke up it was to an empty bed and the feeling of dread couldn't have been more suffocating. He heard no sound from the bathroom and Lisbon wasn't anywhere else in the room either. Only half awake his mind drew a horrible conclusion: she had come to her senses and left him, was probably already on her way back to the airport and he'd absolutely nothing left to offer in order to stop her this time.

He felt like his heart was breaking beyond repair. A few painful sobs erupted from somewhere deep down in his aching soul. She was gone for good, had finally decided that he wasn't worth it and that his pitiful moment of truth wasn't enough to eradicate years of lies and deceit. He couldn't blame her of course. He knew, he wasn't anyone's idea of a great catch. He was damaged goods. And he knew he wasn't a good man, though he had been resolved to do all in his power to be a better one for her. And with her help he'd hoped he could accomplish it too.

Obviously it wasn't to be and having been so close to it, having had a first taste of her, having felt her lips on his skin, made the loss even more unbearable. His fingers touched the tender spot where she'd bitten him just a few hours ago in what he'd been so sure was a gesture of laying claim to him. It had felt so good to belong with someone again and for a blissful moment he'd felt more at peace with himself and the world than he'd been since before Angela and Charlotte had been killed – or maybe ever if he was honest.

He called himself all sorts of stupid for his bout of idiocy, his naïve belief that he could ever be enough for someone as beautiful and strong and good as Teresa Lisbon. She'd been swept away by his spell of honesty on the plane but after some hours of sleep and with a clear head she'd come to her senses and done what any sensible woman would have done: gotten away from him as fast as possible.

He should probably take comfort in the feeling of liberation he'd felt back on the plane when the years of repressed emotions and layers upon layers of fear and guilt and self-loathing had been released. It had felt as if the iron belt that had kept the pieces of his shattered heart together but had also prevented it from healing had finally burst. In that moment it had felt like enough. That even if his love left for DC, this feeling of deliverance would be worth it. But it had also left him feeling raw, unprotected, vulnerable.

The night in that interrogation room when he'd been convinced that he'd never see Lisbon again had been agony. He'd hardly uttered a word to anyone after the initial questioning by the TSA. And they'd left him alone for most of the time. He hadn't cared much about the outcome of it all until Lisbon had suddenly entered the room. When the door had opened he'd sensed her presence at once, had smelled her unique scent, the one he loved so much. But he hadn't dared to look up, too afraid that his senses were betraying him and that all it would turn out to be was his wishful thinking. He'd been too afraid to face the disappointment of looking into the face of yet another hapless transport security official with some inane question about his possible connections to illegal organizations. But then Lisbon had spoken and he'd been bursting with joy inside because he was pretty sure, his mind wouldn't come up with the illusion of her voice. The moment when he'd realized that she was still there, not in DC, had been almost heady. It had been long since he'd let himself experience any kind of feeling so openly and the intensity had been overwhelming. Especially when she'd told him that she returned his feelings. He'd felt so alive and happy.

But right now this raw openness showed its downsides. He hadn't had the time yet to build any kind of new safeguard. He felt totally unprotected, at the mercy of his own heart that was breaking all over again at the thought of having lost Lisbon. Right now he hurt. Hurt like hell.

* * *

"Jane, what happened?" Lisbon exclaimed the moment she saw the man she loved drenched in tears. In four longs steps she was by his side and sat down next to him on the edge of the bed.

He eyed her in obvious wonder, gasping for breath, unable to form words.

She put her arm around his waist and pulled him close, realizing that he was shaking. "Patrick, what's wrong?" she asked carefully.

Jane released a shuddering breath, applying every bio-feedback trick he could muster at the moment and tried desperately to regain his poise. Well over a minute passed with Lisbon gently caressing his back in soothing circles. "Jane, you're scaring me. Can you tell me what happened?" she asked again in a quiet voice.

Hoarse but finally composed enough to speak he croaked pitifully, "I thought you had left."

He didn't add a "me" in the end but she heard it anyway – loud and clear.

"Oh, Patrick," she whispered, her hand moving from his back to his cheek, wiping away the stray tears still escaping his eyes. "Why would I do that? I just stepped out for a moment to get us something to eat. And… I mean, all my stuff is still here. Didn't you see?" She ruffled the curls at his neck, hoping it would comfort him.

He looked at her with a sheepish expression. "I guess I just panicked and didn't think straight," he admitted meekly, letting his eyes wander around the semi dark room, perceiving all the signs of her occupying it. He felt even more like an idiot than before.

"I'm here and I'm not going anywhere without you, Jane," she said, her tone leaving no doubt about the truthfulness of her statement. "I thought, you knew that this is my final decision. You're stuck with me now."

"Just thought, you had come to your senses at last," he mumbled.

"Fortunately I did. That's why I'm here," she stated. "I want to be with you. It's my decision. It's what makes me happy," she explained. "You want me to be happy or so you've told me. Repeatedly, if I recall correctly." She couldn't help but roll her eyes a bit at that. But she knew she needed to stay serious. She hadn't realized that her partner was still so insecure about the state of their relationship and obviously needed some reassurance. "So here I am, finally being with the man who makes me happy."

His face lit up and a beaming smile almost split it in two. She could fall in love all over again with that expression, she decided. "That's lucky," he whispered, "Because you make me happy too."

* * *

They sat at the small table in the room about thirty minutes later eating the light but delicious meal the chef had concocted for them. "God, that was good," Jane said with deep satisfaction after finishing his appetizer and the main course in record time.

"When was the last time you ate, Jane?" Lisbon inquired. "You looked like a ravenous animal by the time the food arrived." Amusement shone from her eyes.

He sat a moment in deep contemplation. "Guess it was that delicious breakfast we had outside on the terrace."

"Wow, that was yesterday morning. More than 36 hours without food! No wonder you were famished. Didn't they feed you anything at the airport?"

Jane shook his head. "No. I got a glass of water or two. That was the whole extent of their hospitality. I wasn't joking when I said that it left much to be desired."

Lisbon saw that he eyed the two portions of chocolate tart with fresh fruit left on their food tray longingly. But he was obviously determined to wait until she had finished her main course before devouring their dessert together with her. It seemed like a hard fight though. And his face was so open to her that she could see all of his emotions displayed on it. She found this new version of Jane incredibly fascinating and endearing. But seeing him so relaxed now only brought back how she'd encountered him only half an hour ago.

Lisbon paused a moment between bites and looked at her partner with intense sincerity. He returned her look somewhat somber and warily. "I'm sorry, I gave you such a scare earlier," she finally said.

He turned his eyes down. "It's okay. You didn't mean to and I was just being stupid. And I probably deserve it too. A bit of pay-back for all the times I left you hanging," he replied meekly.

"No!" was her indignant, almost shouted answer. He flinched. In a softer, gentle tone she went on, "That's not how it's supposed to be, Jane. Our relationship. It's not about keeping score. I don't want anything like an eye for an eye. That's not how it works."

"'But I do have a lot to make up to you," Jane countered.

She shook her head. "I don't see it that way. We're partners, remember? We give and we take. That's what a partnership is supposed to be like."

"And that's exactly why I have so much to make up to you," he retorted. "I've pretty much only been the one to take while you gave and gave so much to me." He looked abashed.

She sighed. "That's not how I see it, Patrick. I know that it might look like that on the surface. It's why many people would agree with you. And would call me crazy for sticking by you." She chuckled but turned serious again. "But the truth is that you've given me a lot over the years. That's how I feel. You have been frustrating and exhausting and we've been through some pretty hard times. But I've gained a lot from our partnership. You've made me come out of my shell. I was caught up in my own past when you joined the CBI."

She blushed a bit. Being open and truthful about her feelings wasn't exactly her strongest suit. But he'd done it and he deserved her to answer in kind. "You know very well what I was like when we first met. Married to the job and working out daddy issues with Hannigan while trying to prove my worth as a female leader in a world dominated by males. I bet, you had me pegged after the first ten seconds."

They both chuckled when Jane held up his right hand showing her all the fingers. "Five seconds, max," he teased.

She continued on a serious note again. "What you've given me is really precious to me, Jane. You brought fun to my life. Excitement. Adventure. Suddenly closing cases wasn't all about bringing justice to the world and selflessly serving the people. It could be fulfilling in other, more personal ways too. You made me see that. I'm really, really grateful for it. I hope you know that."

Jane looked surprised. "No, not really," he admitted. "I feel more like I've destroyed pretty much all your chances to have the career you had been working so hard to have. I mean, I tried to give you something back when I had the FBI offer you a job worthy of your abilities. The job you deserve and that you would have had ten times over if not for me. But that backfired quite a bit too, I guess. You just thought I was trying to control you."

He swallowed heavily. "I didn't really know how to make it up to you after that. How to be around you. It felt like I was at an impasse. I was so afraid you'd cut me out of your life for good. So I thought it best to back off. But you didn't really like that either. And you were ready to cut me out of your life anyway. I nearly lost you even though I'd tried so hard to give you space like you'd told me to." His eyes showed his remembered pain.

"I know I was acting like a coward not telling you the truth about my feelings. It scared the hell out of me. And maybe I used what I thought to be your wishes as an excuse not to tell you how I feel. But until that last second when I knew I'd lose you anyway, I couldn't overcome my fears. I was too afraid of opening myself up to the pain of loss. Losing my loved ones almost killed me the last time. I was really scared I wouldn't survive it this time."

He looked up and into the warm and understanding eyes of the woman he loved. With a tentative smile he added, "But what I didn't take into account is that I also bereaved myself of the chance to experience true happiness. It really was incredibly liberating to be able to say out loud what I've known in my heart and my mind for years."

He looked a bit sheepish after his long speech but Lisbon's nod encouraged him to go on. "Guess, I got a little off topic. Anyway, this is how I feel and I want to give you the world for all I've put you through over the years, Teresa. But I'm afraid all I have to give is silly old me."

Lisbon lay down her fork, her meal forgotten for the moment. This was too important. "It's all I want, Patrick. All I need. I don't want any compensation or anything. I want you just the way you are. It's whom I fell in love with after all. I just love my silly old Jane."

* * *

Fiery gazes met after her declaration. As one they both stood up. Hurting ankle totally forgotten Jane stepped around the table to meet Lisbon half-way. Their lips found each other in an open mouthed kiss. Tongues played with each other, exploring, stroking, teasing. Bodies embraced, trying to get closer than it was possible for two separate entities to be.

Somehow their instincts steered them over to the bed and Jane landed on it on his back with Lisbon right on top of him – their lips never parting. Jane who'd only been wearing his boxers and a t-shirt anyway ended up being naked first. Lisbon took in the sight of his bare torso once more. Her eyes fell on the mark she'd left on his neck earlier. Several small bruises had formed where her teeth had been buried in his skin.

She really didn't know where these feelings were coming from but she felt that primal sense of possession all over again. This had never happened to her before, only with Jane, and it was a bit scary. Something inside her seemed to scream 'mate'.

She touched, kissed, and licked hungrily, reveling in the moans it elicited from her partner. His nipples stood erect and begged to be sucked, which she did. Her hands caressed his flanks, his shoulders, and his arms while he lay, almost motionlessly, taking in the onslaught of sensations Lisbon evoked in him.

It took a few minutes for her to notice that he'd pretty much surrendered to her ministrations and she sought out his face to make sure he was enjoying what she did. His expression laid any doubts to rest. She thought he looked like he was in awe, like he was all feelings, all nerves, all body, all soul. It was a beautiful sight.

A warm smile spread on her face and she felt such a deep sense of tenderness and affection for Jane, it was nearly making her heart burst out of her ribcage. "You are gorgeous, Patrick," she whispered reverently.

"Feels so good," he said hoarsely, voice breaking with his emotions. "It's been so long since I felt good." A tear of joy escaped his eye.

She bent over and licked it off his face. "You're mine now and I'll make you feel good all the time from now on," she replied gently but with a fierce undertone.

He smiled. "It's a heady feeling to truly belong with someone, isn't it, Teresa?"

"Is that what this is?" she asked. "It's a bit scary. I feel so possessive and that's not like me."

He lifted his hand and caressed her cheek. "I feel possessive too, my love. I came so close to losing you. And I'm all yours, Teresa. It feels so incredibly good when you show me how much you want me. I feel so… so cherished."

He pulled her down into a deep kiss. "Maybe it's a good time to warn you that I'm a very tactile person," he told her after they'd finally separated their mouths. "I love to cuddle and snuggle and to touch and be touched by my loved ones. It was one of the hardest things to deny and deprive myself of. But it was necessary in order for me to keep up my resolve," he admitted.

She smiled down at him. "I figured as much. You are quite the hugger when you first allow yourself to. I love your hugs. Best hugs I've ever had," she conceded. A bit wary she asked, "But before, when you just, you know, lay there and let me… you know? Is… I mean, are you… is it always gonna be like this between us?" She blushed.

He grinned and played with a strand of her hair. "Is that your charming way of asking whether I'm a submissive sissy in the bedroom, Teresa?"

She slapped his chest lightly, feeling caught somehow. "No! I mean, yes. Kind of…"

Jane chuckled and used the wisp of her hair he was still playing with to gently pull her head closer so they were eye to eye. He pecked her lips and said, "No need to be embarrassed, sweetheart. It's alright to ask me these questions. And the answer is no. But it felt too damn good to be claimed by my mate to do anything but savor every second of it. It's been so long since I've felt anything even close to this. And it seemed like you needed it just as much."

"I've never felt like this before with a man," Lisbon admitted. "I enjoyed being in charge and feeling and seeing you surrender to your emotions. Like you were in the moment with all your senses. And thus needed to lie there just taking it all in. And I was the one to make it happen. It's just that I wouldn't want it to be like that all the time I guess."

"Of course not. You like to be worshipped and you deserve to be. Rest assured that I'll explore every inch of you. I can't wait to make you feel cherished and to drive you crazy with sensations. It'll be great to see you on the peak of passion! Just the thought excites me. And I love to be the one calling the shots at times. I might even turn caveman on you once in a while. Giving and taking, remember? Equal partners – in everything." He smiled warmly up at her and cupped her cheek with his big hand, his thumb caressing her face.

His sensual words talked straight to her heart and she loved the feeling of his tender touch and got almost lost in his eyes when he started to speak again. "We're both controlling people in our everyday lives. Out of necessity, out of habit, and also because that's part of who we are personality wise. That's why we butt heads so much, though I'd like to think that we've worked towards a beautiful compromise over the years. Admirable really, considering how many issues we have – both each of us separately and together. It'll be the same now, I'm sure of it. I feel so close to you and safe. You're my home. And I for one like to let go at times, just like you do. With the partner we trust."

What he said made a lot of sense to Lisbon. Even better: it felt right. Like something had just clicked and fallen into place. It's not like she was a passive woman in the bedroom. But she usually wasn't the one to truly call the shots. She pretty much followed the man's lead and went with the flow. Sometimes that led to a satisfying result, sometimes not so much.

Marcus had been eager enough to please her, she supposed, though he hadn't exactly been overly creative. He obviously knew how to touch a woman in order to make sex enjoyable for her, but in hindsight she had to say that it had been primarily about him. In her experience most men were like that. They made it enjoyable for the woman just so she'd agree to a repeat. To be fair she'd mostly had one-night stands or short-term relationships without any strings attached, and she was aware that sex under such circumstances tended to be a rather selfish affair with both partners trying to get the most out of it for themselves. But she had to admit that it hadn't been much different with Marcus and her eagerness to please him or make it special for him had not been all that big.

She hadn't even slept with Jane yet and what they'd shared so far already felt more satisfying than anything she'd experienced before. She craved him and it brought her profound pleasure to see him enjoy what she was doing to him. That was a new feeling. And she believed him when he said, he'd relish to make her feel good too.

A big grin took over her whole face. "Time to stop talking, Mr. Jane. Now I want to feel it all."

* * *

She found herself flipped on her back with Jane hovering over her with a grinning face before she'd completed her last sentence. But he grew a bit somber again and searched out her eyes. "I hope, your expectations aren't too high, Teresa. I'm… well, I'm seriously out of practice. To tell the truth, I'm actually a bit scared. This has been such a long time coming and I'm afraid I might not be able to live up to your expectations. I might have a big mouth but in reality I'm not all that experienced. I mean, I was married of course and I'm pretty sure we had a very fulfilling relationship in that respect – both of us. But I met Angela when we were still quite young. So, well. What I'm trying to say is that I'm not some kind of sex god or something. Quite the opposite really. And as you know I didn't exactly practice my skills during the last decade or so. I mean, I still know which part goes where and such, but… Well, you should not…."

She interrupted him with a giggle. "You're seriously rambling, Don Juan." She caressed his cheek and when she knew she had his full attention, she said warmly, "It's alright, Patrick. I'm a bit scared too. We'll figure things out together. It'll be special because it's us."

He lowered his head and they shared a deep, reassuring kiss. "Thank you," he whispered in her ear afterwards.

"You wear too many clothes, Lisbon," Jane complained with renewed confidence and started to change that immediately, opening the buttons of her blouse with the subtle fingers of a magician. He kissed, licked, and touched every new patch he bared and unerringly found several spots that sent arrows of heat through her whole body, arrows which seemed to find their bull's eye right between her legs. He drove her wild.

If this was Jane being out of practice he'd probably kill her with arousal after some training, was her last more or less coherent thought before she did what she'd seen him doing before: she just succumbed to the moment and the sensations he elicited, panting and moaning without even being aware of it or she might have felt a bit embarrassed about her open show of emotions.

* * *

Jane paid special attention to Lisbon's bosom which had been the subject of many a fantasy over the years. "I love your breasts, Teresa," he whispered reverently. "Most beautiful ones I've ever seen."

It was just as well that they were a very sensitive area for her too. She opened her eyes, eager to see his beautiful hands on them, and she wasn't disappointed. It looked like they were a perfect fit. He could hold one in each hand and tweak her nipples between his thumb and pointer finger. Somehow he found just the right amount pressure to drive her crazy. It almost took her breath away how perfect it felt. And when he added his lips and tongue to the mix as well, she fell apart, screaming helplessly in her fulfillment.

When she came down from her high she looked right into the awed face of her lover. "Seeing you come is even more perfect than I'd imagined it to be," he said, voice full of adoration. "I think I just became addicted."

She was still fighting to regain her breath and was in complete disbelief at what had just happened to her. She'd never come before without being directly stimulated at her core. Never. And no one had ever looked at her like this either, relishing in her pleasure, obviously not bothering about his own at all.

"Oh, but it does give me a lot of pleasure, Teresa." He'd read her expression with his usual accuracy. "It's such a heady feeling to know that I can give you this. So I take a lot from it too. It's very much mutual. Believe me, I'm close to coming myself just from watching you experiencing so much pleasure."

"Kiss me," she urged him and he obliged at once, open-mouthed, out of control, with total abandon. She realized that she could actually taste his state of arousal in his mouth and on his tongue when she sucked on it. It drove her wild with need. Breaking away from the kiss she whispered hoarsely, "I want you, Jane. God, I want you so much."

"I've got some condoms in my bag," he said bashfully, admitting what she'd already surmised. He'd really been prepared to seduce her into staying. It only registered in a remote part of her brain and didn't seem of any importance at this point.

"I'm on the pill," she replied breathlessly. "Want you now."

Full of happiness she recognized that he trusted her completely, trusted her to have been responsible in the relationship she'd just ended a few hours earlier, trusted that she knew what she wanted, because he removed her last item of clothing, her panties, in one swift move without further questioning.

His trust was arousing in itself, but what his nimble fingers did to her core was the most exquisite torture. His eyes never left hers while he explored her, making sure she was truly ready for him. The intensity of his loving gaze, how he seemed to look right into her soul and finding his personal paradise there combined with what he did with his fingers brought her to the edge in a matter of seconds. Sensing her state, he used the hand not busy stimulating her clit to pinch her nipple exactly at the moment she reached her peak.

She screamed with total abandon, convulsing around the fingers he'd buried inside of her. The climax just seemed to go on and on, jolt after jolt of pleasure flashed through her whole body, igniting every nerve ending. She wanted it to never end, already craved to feel like this again.

Just when she was about to mourn the loss of the most powerful, most pleasurable feeling she'd ever experienced in her life, she heard a loud groan from her partner and then she sensed the tip of his rock hard erection breaching her highly sensitive opening.

She opened her eyes, only now becoming aware of the fact that she'd closed them, and looked into the concentrated face of her partner. He was panting, fighting for control, she presumed. Probably afraid to hurt or overwhelm her. She didn't want any of that. "Damn it Jane. Need you, don't hold back, just do it!" she demanded, her voice husky with feeling.

And he did.

One mighty thrust and he was home – at least that's how she felt when the sense of being connected with him as much as humanly possible spread through her body like wildfire. She was sure he felt the same way when she heard him release a deep felt sob of ecstasy, his face a study in enthrallment and peace. They needed no words to agree to savor this first moment of them melting into one for as long as possible, eyes as deeply linked as their joined bodies, transmitting their feelings about their union from soul to soul. Lisbon stopped thinking of herself as an "I" and only felt a tranquil "we".

All too soon the urge for more became too much and still without need for any verbal expression they started to move – in perfect sync for the first few thrusts. But her partner was too far gone to keep up a steady, slow pace for long. His strokes grew in strength and intensity, the rhythm only known to him, but hitting her sensitive spots all the same – how he did it was a total mystery to her – until he hammered into her in total abandon, completely out of control and wild, delighting in his and her pleasure. It was the most arousing, most beautiful thing she'd ever experienced. She cried out his name in pure, blissful joy and her channel contracting around him was that last bit of stimulation necessary to make him follow her into a state of utter felicity, spilling his seed into her in a seemingly unending sequence of spurts.

* * *

They both clung to each other afterwards, exchanging open mouthed, deep kisses with tears running down their faces, adding to the feeling of years of sexual and emotional tension releasing between them.

"I love you so much, Teresa. I adore you. You're perfect, just perfect. My heart feels like bursting, I'm so happy," Jane whispered when they'd finally settled with him on his back and her spread all over him, her head resting over his heart, one of his hands lazily caressing her back, the other buried in her hair.

She kissed her special little spot on his neck and said, "I love you too, Patrick. More than I can say with words. I've never felt anything like this before. It's so all-consuming, nearly overwhelming. I never want to go without this ever again." She lifted her head so she could lock eyes with him and looked at him with deep, new-found understanding. "What we just had, what we share, that's what you lost with Angela, isn't it?"

"Yes," he replied quietly, a dark shadow clouding his eyes, though only for a split second before they lit up again with pure happiness. "But it's also what I have gained with you."

His profound statement was followed by many minutes of meaningful silence. It was only broken one final time that night by Jane's drowsy voice mumbling, "Damn it! I never got to eat that chocolate tart and now I'm too tired to get up."

* * *

**TBC**

**Comments and feedback are very welcome and much appreciated.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I'm finally back with another chapter. Sorry it took so long but real life keeps me quite busy at the moment. I hope that things will calm down a bit soon and that I'll find a bit more time to write. Thanks to everyone who took the time to leave a review or express their enjoyment of my little story in any other way. It's not just an empty phrase - I really appreciate it! And it's a great motivation too.**

**This chapter contains a short M-ish part, but nothing that explicit, I think...**

* * *

**This Is Not A Drill - Three**

The sun was about to rise when Lisbon woke up again. She was a bit disoriented at first but when her brain caught up with reality she remembered where she was and with whom and her heart started beating faster while her hands reached out to the man who was supposed to be sharing the bed with her. She found only cold emptiness.

For a small moment of panic she thought that Jane might have run but she discarded that thought as absurd right away. After what had happened during the last two days she just knew that he would never leave her if he could help it. That newfound sense of trust in him and his intentions made her incredibly happy. But it still didn't tell her where the hell he was and why he wasn't sleeping right beside her.

It was still pretty early. She estimated that it was maybe five or six am. As they'd both had a sleepless night before and she was quite sure that Jane hadn't been sleeping very well lately, she'd expected him to catch up on it now that they could. Admittedly they'd already slept through most of yesterday afternoon and evening and the night too. But she herself still felt some residual tiredness and she would have thought that it would also be the case for her partner. But he was obviously awake and had been for some time.

She took in her surroundings. Paying attention like that made her aware of a very quiet but still audible noise, snatches of some kind of music she assumed. Sitting up in bed gave her the necessary angle to take in the whole room. Her eyes fell on the man that had occupied her thoughts: Jane was lounging in an armchair, his legs propped up on a stool, his hurt ankle covered by an ice pack. He had his eyes closed in deep concentration or contemplation – it was hard to tell the difference with him – headphones in his ears, listening to some music on his smart phone from the looks of it.

She was surprised that he had music stored on his phone or rather that he knew how to use his phone that way. But he'd astonished her before with the level of technical knowledge he obviously possessed while giving everybody the impression that he didn't even know how to start a computer, let alone use it. Even though she knew that and had watched him handle modern technology many times before, she was still taken aback seeing him comfortably employing the latest phone model like a duck took to water.

Lisbon indulged herself watching him shamelessly like that for many minutes. It was not often she caught Jane so unaware and unguarded though she hoped it would become a more common occurrence now that their relationship had turned into whatever it was. She had no suitable label for it yet and maybe there wasn't one either. Anyway, Jane-watching was one of her favorite pastimes and she made the most of the situation at hand.

He was only wearing his boxers and a white, tight fitting t-shirt that gave her a delicious view of his nicely developed chest. His hair was tousled, his curls all over the place and looking so fluffy she felt a deep urge to ruffle them. She'd seen him after waking up and before grooming quite a few times over the years and it was one of the best looks in her opinion. She grinned happily at the realization that she'd probably see it almost every morning from now on – a truly beautiful prospect.

After a while she decided that watching wasn't enough anymore and that touching was an immediate need she could fortunately satisfy to her heart's desire now. When she got up her eyes fell on the shirt Jane had worn the day before and that was hanging over the foot of the bed. It was totally cliché and cheesy but she felt giddy at the thought of wearing it. She grabbed it and turned her wish into reality with a happy sigh. The shirt smelt deliciously of Jane, a bit sweaty too but she didn't mind. It was Jane-sweat after all and that made all the difference. She closed a few buttons and padded over to her partner who was still oblivious to her alert state and deeply immersed in his music.

Lisbon perched herself on the arm rest, bent over, and just as Jane seemed to have become aware of her presence her lips had already covered his. He flinched a bit but returned the kiss with great enthusiasm after taking a few seconds to recover from the fright her sudden approach had caused.

He pulled her onto his lap which dislodged his earphones. The music became louder and distinguishable to Lisbon.

"Good morning, gorgeous," he said huskily after their kiss had ended, his hand caressing her cheek, eyes glowing with love and happiness.

"Morning, babe," Lisbon replied with a bit of hesitancy, a shy smile playing on her lips.

"Babe?" He raised his brows.

"Honeybun? Sweetums? Paddybear?" she asked, now in a more teasing tone.

Jane chuckled. "Oh, please call me Paddybear in front of Cho! I so want to see his reaction when you do!" He kissed her on her nose. "Other than that: use whatever you're comfortable with, my dear. I don't mind. I'll love any endearment you come up with, I'm sure."

"I guess, I'll just play it by the ear," Lisbon said. "You kind of go beyond any one single name I can think of other than Jane."

He chuckled again. "So Jane is what describes me best?"

"Definitely. You've always been my Jane and somehow that explains it all," was her dry retort.

He sighed dramatically. "I'll have to live with that, I guess." A bit more serious he added, "But I'd love it if you'd call me Patrick or something else once in a while. Somehow being called Jane sounds a lot like being in trouble."

"Which you are – most of the time anyway," was her expected answer.

His pouting mouth was irresistible and had to be kissed at once in her opinion, which she did. Repeatedly.

* * *

They made out on the armchair for a while. She lost 'his' shirt, he lost his t-shirt in the process, and also his boxers went down enough for them to connect in the most intimate way. She more or less took control, being the one on top, riding him. But he didn't remain passive at all. He visibly and thoroughly enjoyed the beautiful sight of and easy access to her breasts and to both of their delight he took ample advantage of the opportunity to kiss, lick, massage, and tweak.

They came almost together, one following the other over the edge, their ecstatic cries muffled by each other's mouths. The position allowed for them to stay connected a while after and they both cherished the feeling of being so close, being together like that, being one.

* * *

While cooling down Lisbon's eyes fell on his phone that he'd somehow managed to save from damage before things had gotten out of hand by putting it on the side table. It made her remember that she'd recognized the music he'd been playing before she'd interrupted him.

"That piece you were listening to earlier, it's what Rosalind Harker used to play for, well, for Roy, or rather McAllister, right?" she inquired carefully.

He looked a bit uncomfortable. "Yes. Bach's Well-tempered Clavier," he admitted.

She locked eyes with him. "Any particular reason you picked that one?" she asked in a gentle voice.

After a moment of hesitation Jane started to speak in an even tone, "Did you know that Bach was pretty much an autodidact when it comes to composing? He received a musical education but his skills as a composer were mostly due to him figuring things out on his own. He got influenced by many different styles of music from different countries and created groundbreaking works that way. The Well-tempered Clavier from 1722 is such an example. It's almost revolutionary. Pioneering."

Jane paused but Lisbon knew not to interrupt him. "Rosalind said that Roy enjoyed Bach because of his vigor. A strange way of putting it, though it's not exactly fallacious. I, however, admire Bach's courage and strength, his genius. He wasn't just a great musician and composer, he was a scientist. He must have been a gifted mathematician too – a common occurrence amongst composers. And he was a man ready to test the boundaries and sometimes even managed to overcome them. He was open minded and incredibly creative and not afraid to integrate foreign styles into his own music even though that could've alienated his audience. Truly admirable."

He took a moment to collect himself before he went on, "You know, Bach's sacred music could actually almost make me believe in god. If nothing else, I'd at least grant you that religion has inspired some magnificent pieces of art."

Lisbon played with his curls while looking at him in askance. "So this choice of music is not coincidental then, I presume?"

Jane shook his head and seemed to go through some inner struggle. "No," he finally said. "Sometimes I feel a certain need to try and make sense of it all. Not that there's much of a chance that I ever will. But once in a while I just have to try. And that's when I listen to this piece. After the events of the last few days it kind of came over me this morning," he explained with an openness that both astonished and delighted Lisbon.

This new Jane who was obviously willing to share personal information with her was a very welcome change. She rewarded it with a spontaneous kiss. "Do you regret killing him?" she inquired afterwards.

His answer came without the slightest hesitation. "No." Her eyes asked him to elaborate. "No, I don't regret it. It had to be done. I stand by that. But I admit that it didn't give me the closure I'd hoped for. You did."

"I did?" She looked at him with surprise.

He nodded. "Yes, Teresa. Bit by tiny bit you put me back together." He looked her straight in the eyes and said very softly, "Thank you." She felt deeply touched and could see that he was fighting some tears as well. But then he composed himself and with a smug grin he added, "While I'm sure there are still quite a few pieces missing, I'm at least in working order again now as I've proven in a quite spectacular fashion, if I dare say so myself." With a movement of his head he indicated their disheveled state.

His sexual innuendo was an obvious attempt to change the subject but Lisbon didn't feel like letting him off the hook that easily. Jane in a somewhat talkative mood, giving away his true feelings, was a situation she just had to utilize to the fullest.

"What exactly do you try to make sense of when it comes to McAllister?" she asked.

Jane sighed. "I'm not getting out of this now, am I?" She shook her head and cast him a stubborn look. "Thought so." He sighed again. "It's hard to explain, Lisbon. Or maybe I simply don't really know myself."

She snuggled into his chest, her arms coming around him. She knew that this wasn't an easy subject for him and she hoped that she could offer comfort and encouragement.

"Why do you want to know anyway?" he wondered. "You never asked before."

"To be honest, I didn't really dare. Things were kind of strange between us after you came back. And you never mentioned anything about it in your letters. So I felt like it was a no-no," she replied.

He buried his hands in her hair and massaged her scalp. "I want you to know that you can ask me anything, Teresa. I don't want any taboos between us. I might not always answer or at least not to your satisfaction, but please feel free to ask, okay?"

She nodded against his chest and pressed her lips gently to that special spot on his neck where she'd kind of marked him as her own last night to express her gratitude and appreciation.

He continued to caress her while taking up her question again. "During our final confrontation McAllister offered to share some of the details. But at that point I just wanted him dead and gone. And all I really wanted was to know for sure that you and the others would be safe from him once and for all. Then he tried to make me believe that he'd pulled off everything by being – of all things! – a psychic! Can you imagine?!" Jane snorted. "The audacity of it!"

"Well, Barlow kind of implied the same," Lisbon countered.

"There's no such thing as psychics, Teresa," Jane replied in exasperation. "How often do I need to repeat that? McAllister just wanted to mock me. And Barlow, well, he's a piece of work. But certainly not in the possession of some exceptional powers. Believe me!"

"But how the hell did McAllister figure out your list of suspects weeks ahead of you?" Lisbon interjected.

"That's one of the many details I try to make sense of. But there's nothing supernatural about it, I'm sure. Probably surveillance and a careful study of my own work. Remember that I had to take quite a few detours in my research while he could use shortcuts. He might have simply worked it out the same way I did, just with the added bonus of having more information than I did. Which is rather logical considering that he of course knew who he was and who was working for him and had connections to him and so on and so forth. Nothing mysterious about it."

He took a deep breath. "Anyway, what bothers me more is things like why he took so much offense at my words on that TV show. Why?" He shook his head. "I've spent years of feeling so guilty about being responsible for Angela's and Charlotte's deaths that I kind of ignored the fact that when it comes down to it, my words were rather harmless. Not nice exactly, but certainly not reason enough to slaughter my family. Not even in the mind of a sick psychopath."

"I'm glad, you've come to that conclusion," Lisbon said gently. "It hurt to see you suffer from guilt and shame so much when all you had done was being a bit cocky and arrogant – just like many, many others. Of course it was pretty stupid to insult a serial killer in public like that. But his reaction was total overkill." She blushed. "Sorry, that was a very inappropriate way of putting it," she added sheepishly.

"I'd say, it was pretty accurate," Jane replied dryly. "I often wonder whether he reacted that way because my made-up description of him hit too close to home even though it was neither very distinct nor particularly original," he admitted. "Though he certainly turned out to be an ugly, tormented little man in the end, begging me for mercy. Can you imagine? That monster who'd taken pleasure from seeing his victims suffer as much as possible asked me for mercy! He cut open my little girl without a second thought but asked me for mercy! Well, in a way he got it. I sure as hell didn't make him suffer as much and as long as he'd have deserved," he said coldly.

Lisbon cringed a bit at his tone and choice of words but tried to hide her reaction from him – without success.

"Now you're disgusted with me," Jane stated. "Can't blame you. But I'm still not sorry for what I did."

She looked up at him. "I'm not disgusted. But it is a bit disturbing to hear you talking that way," she admitted. "But I'm not disgusted." To emphasize that she pecked him on the lips. "How did you feel afterwards?" she asked carefully.

"Relieved. I felt relieved. First and foremost. And then I felt empty. Totally empty. And lost. Without aim. Useless." He hesitated then seemed to make up his mind. "There was a moment afterwards when I contemplated ending it all," he confessed. "But then I called you instead," he added quietly.

"You thought about killing yourself?" She was shocked.

He nodded. "Just for a second, Teresa. Just in the heat of the moment. It was overwhelming. Almost orgasmic. Like coming down from a high. I had killed before but it had never been so personal, so intimate. I had barely any emotional control afterwards. My walls were down for once. Only for a moment. Then I gathered myself and tried to reach you. I knew, I couldn't do it." A shudder went through him. "Couldn't do it to you," he added.

She hugged him to her as if her life depended on it, some tears running down her cheeks. "God, I'm so glad you didn't do it!" she exclaimed. "I love you so much, Jane. It would've hurt. Hurt like hell to lose you. And in that way!"

"I know," he whispered. "I love you too, Teresa. That's why I didn't do it." He stroked her back in a soothing pattern. "Maybe I shouldn't have told you," he mumbled. "Now I've upset you."

She shook her head and wiped away the tears. "No. I'm grateful that you trusted me with this. I really appreciate it, Patrick. Of course it's upsetting to know how close I came to losing you. But I think it's good that I know." She huffed. "Hell, I deserve to know!"

A moment later she decided to lighten the mood a bit and continued mockingly, "So in the end you just acted on impulse and didn't ask for answers and now you are left with a shitload of questions. Clever move, Jane."

He snorted. "It's not exactly keeping me awake at night," he replied. "I wonder sometimes though. Wonder how he managed to gather all those followers. How the clues we thought we'd found on the case over the years fit in with McAllister being Red John. What did that message mean that Renfrew left on the wall? Where did McAllister's obsession with William Blake come from? How the hell did he manage to gain the loyalty of all those women, like Rebecca or Lorelei? He seemed so ordinary, not very charming or charismatic. A lot of it doesn't really make sense." He shook his head.

"Or what was his connection to Visualize for example? Can't picture our dear Tommy enthralled by the likes of Bret Stiles. Then again there must have been a pretty close connection. I'm convinced that Bret knew Red John's identity. I think, Bret misled me on purpose in Malibu. McAllister was the first one I exposed as having that damn tattoo. If Bret hadn't pointed out that both Smith and Bertram had it too, I'd have probably killed the bastard already back then."

He took a deep breath. "Maybe I should ask Dennis what they found out about the connection between Visualize and the Blake Association. I'm sure there is one. Would explain why the sect never ended up under more scrutiny by law enforcement. Or maybe they – as in both Visualize and Blake – managed to turn whoever investigated them. We met O'Laughlin while looking into a Visualize case because he was in the FBI unit dealing with the sect after all. I guess, he was handpicked to be both of help to Visualize and to work on behalf of Blake or rather McAllister, as well as for honey trapping Grace."

He stopped and shook his head again. "Doesn't matter, really. He's dead, we're alive. The rest is just details. It's just sometimes I still try to make sense of it all."

He cupped her face between his hands, his thumb caressing her cheeks. "Wanna hear my latest theory on the subject?" She nodded. "My latest theory is that the sense of it all is this." He kissed her. "You and me. Together. That makes perfect sense." He smiled beamingly at her.

"I like that theory," she said huskily.

* * *

After they'd spent at least another 30 minutes kissing and cuddling they decided that it was time to order some breakfast. Jane looked somewhat sheepish and confessed that he'd eaten both their desserts from last night first thing after getting up and promised a pouting Lisbon to make it up to her for depriving her of her chocolate tart.

She got up and off his lap. "It's alright, Jane," she said. "I know that you must have been really hungry for you to dare to get between me and my chocolate, little wimp that you are," she teased.

"Did you just call me a wimp, Lisbon?" He faked indignation. "Me? The romantic hero of flight 407?"

She snorted, her amusement showing all over her face. "How's the ankle by the way?"

He grimaced and surprised her again with a straightforward answer. "Not so good to be honest," he admitted. "I'm afraid our nightly activities didn't exactly agree with it. The swelling was quite spectacular this morning and I think maybe the pain was what woke me up. But I put some ice on it and it feels like it's doing a lot better now."

"Damn it, Jane. You should've said something last night. We should've stopped if it aggravated your injury."

He shook his head. "No way, Lisbon. It was totally worth it. And I knew if I'd told you, you'd have wanted to be all reasonable. I didn't want to be reasonable and I didn't want you to be reasonable either. I wanted you to let go and most of all I wanted to make love to you."

Her face turned angry. "So this is your new honesty policy? Only telling me stuff when it suits you?" she accused. "Where's the difference to how things used to be? This is not the way it works, Jane. Excuse me for not wanting you to hurt yourself."

He looked bashful, almost contrite. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "Old habits." He lowered his head and went on in such a distraught tone it nearly made her cringe, "And I really didn't want to ruin the mood last night. And it wasn't all that bad. Really. You know, all those endorphins made me forget about it most of the time anyway. You've got to believe me, Teresa. Please."

"Stop that, Jane," she said sternly.

His head came up and he eyed her warily, confusion and what she presumed was anxiety plain to see on his open, unmasked face. "Stop what?" he inquired cautiously.

"Stop crawling like a beaten puppy, Jane. I'm not gonna leave you or start doubting this. Us. Okay? Please stop being so insecure. It doesn't suit you. And I do believe you. I didn't think about your injury last night either after all." A small, sheepish smile played on her lips. "Oh, and I'm sorry, I told you off like that. I overreacted. I just don't want to see you hurt."

He let out a sigh of relief. "I'll try," he offered. "It might take some time. I kind of feel like you will realize at any minute now that I… we… I… I mean **this** isn't worth it. That staying was a mistake. I'm afraid that I'll screw it up somehow."

Again his openness caught her by surprise and she didn't really know how to deal with it. This was unmapped territory and would take some getting used to. "Patrick, please. You won't screw up. What could you possibly do that you haven't done already?"

She regretted her words the moment they had left her mouth, especially when she saw his face fall even more. "So you mean since I've pretty much been a total jerk and a douchebag all along anyway I can't sink any lower. Well, that's reassuring," he muttered despondently.

"No," she protested. "That's not what I meant. Not like that. It's just that we've been through so much together already. I can't think of anything that would make me doubt our relationship or would want to make me break it up. And I couldn't ever regret staying with you. I wanted to be with you all along. I just thought I had to leave because I couldn't stand being close to you but never really with you."

She hunkered down beside her still sitting partner so she didn't feel like towering over him anymore. Her eyes searched his, her hand found one of his and she entwined their fingers. "Please, Patrick, I don't want you to act like you're expecting the other shoe to drop the moment you do something I don't like. I love you the way you are – flaws included. I mean it. We'll both make mistakes and we'll deal with it together, okay?"

A small smile appeared on his lips and his eyes got back some of their glint. "I like that. Thank you. And I'm sorry for being such an overemotional mess. I feel so raw at the moment. I've… You know… When I finally managed to open up to you on that plane… Well, it's like there's not much left to protect me right now." He sighed. "I guess, I'll need to rebuild some kind of safeguard. I can't continue being so… so thin-skinned."

"It's weird," she admitted. "But not in a bad way. You being so open and honest, it's really, mhm, surprising. I like it though and I kind of hope, you don't build those new walls too high." She blushed and pulled her bottom lip between her teeth in a nervous gesture.

"I won't," he promised. "If you agree to open up to me too, Teresa. We're both terrible communicators after all." He brought their entwined hands up to his lips and pecked the back of her hand. "It's scary to be so open but it feels good too. Liberating. I've kept myself under such a tight, strict control for years, it felt almost suffocating."

"I'll work on it," she said. "But I'm not that comfortable talking about personal stuff."

"No kidding," he teased. In a serious tone he added, "We'll do it together, Lisbon. I really, really want to make this work between us. And sometimes talking about stuff is necessary. We just have to support each other. We have to make sure we don't fall back into old habits. So you better prepare for being nagged into fessing up from now on, my dear."

She groaned and rolled her eyes. "As if you haven't been doing that for years already."

"But that was just the preliminary stage. Now I'll really worm it out if you," he announced with a big grin.

She groaned again – louder this time. "This conversation has just reached its conclusion, Jane. Let's order some breakfast now. And then I'll help you in the bathroom while we wait for the food. Guess, you'll still have to use the crutches today."

* * *

The rest of their day was spent lazing around on the beach, trying to keep Jane as much off his feet as possible to help his ankle to improve enough for him to start using the splint. She left him alone for some time to make some urgent phone calls and to organize a few things that couldn't wait now that her move to DC wouldn't take place. And by the time she returned Jane had promptly befriended every child present at the seaside that day and was busy building the biggest sand castle Islamorada had ever seen together with a whole bunch of completely enthralled youngsters.

When Lisbon came back she spent some time watching him from afar before she approached. Seeing him with those kids gave her a twinge in her heart. After years of being married to her job at the CBI ever since settling down in Cannon River she had felt some kind of urge to maybe have a family of her own after all. She knew that it was partly her biological clock ticking. But it had also been other circumstances that had prevented her from wasting time and energy on thoughts of motherhood before. Even she had felt that thinking of having children of her own while hunting a serial killer wasn't a good idea. And deep down in her heart having children had meant having Jane's children to her for quite some time already.

Agreeing to move to DC with Marcus had meant giving up on that dream while on the other hand hoping that maybe she could at least get that family. Though if she was being honest not even that much was true because she had no real idea what Marcus's position was on the subject of children. They'd both been on their way to start demanding new positions at the FBI – not exactly the kind of jobs one would call family-friendly. And Marcus had been married before but had no children. She had never asked whether that had been by choice or for other reasons. All he had told her was that his ex-wife had re-married again pretty soon after the divorce two years ago and had a child with her new husband already.

For all she knew Marcus had just presumed that dating a childless woman in her early forties meant that he had found a partner who didn't want any either – just like him. All in all there was a whole lot of pretty important stuff she didn't have the slightest idea about when it came to Marcus. The thought that she had actually said yes to his hapless proposal with so little knowledge and no love and only fondness for him in her heart made her shudder now.

What the hell had she been doing? What had gotten into her? Why had she been acting this way? Why had she let Marcus push her like that? How had he managed to make her act so much against her normal personality? Had her pain about the unresolved issues with Jane really turned her into that meek, indecisive, double-minded woman who had let herself be pressured into a decision she wasn't committed to at all? And Marcus had pressured her. A lot. All under the guise of **not** pressuring her. She could see that now and was truly shocked that she hadn't done so before.

Six weeks. She'd only been with Marcus for six weeks and she'd let him lead her to the point of not only moving to a city thousands of miles away, but also accepted a job he'd secured for her without asking her whether she wanted it. He'd pretty much put her on the spot in front of both Abbott and Don, putting her in a position where she had been almost unable to say anything but yes. And then he'd also steamrolled her with a proposal on top of it. One that couldn't have been less romantic. And she hadn't kicked his ass for it but actually kind of submitted to it all.

Had she really been so desperate for a man's attention that a guy who paid her some compliments and showed his interest in her openly could get just about anything from her in return? She really didn't like the woman she had become in that relationship, the role she'd been playing. Geez, Marcus had asked her to follow him even before she'd had a job of her own in DC. And she'd actually contemplated it. What the hell! Had he expected her to become his pretty, little hausfrau tending to his home while he got to travel around the world on his new, interesting job?

She had to admit that Jane's slightly snarky remarks three days ago about the idiocy of her moving to DC with a man she hardly knew had been pretty spot-on. She'd obviously lost her mind – and certainly not because love had blinded her. Or maybe it had – if indirectly. Her – what she had assumed – unrequited love for Jane had been blinding her and making her act that way. God, was she ever happy that Jane had grown a pair in the end and saved them both from being utterly miserable! She should never call him a coward again, not if she didn't want the same label attached to herself…

Her thoughts went back to Jane and children. Would he be ready to embrace fatherhood again? Did she want to start a family with him? One thing she knew was that if he ever decided to become a father again he'd be a hands-on one. He'd cherish their child, would be there for it 100%. He'd be committed to it. And he would support her through the whole process and he'd respect her wishes to keep working. She could even imagine him wanting to only work part-time in order to be some kind of stay-at-home daddy.

It made her smile and then shake her head. What the hell was wrong with her? Was this her biological clock deciding to shout instead of ticking now? She didn't even know whether Jane would want to have another child. His confession of love wasn't a day old. They had yet to talk about how to proceed with their relationship. Where to go with it and how fast. And here she was already planning their child's daycare.

She snorted. Well, she obviously wanted children with him. That much was clear after the not exactly subtle message her subconscious had just sent her. She was sure they'd make beautiful babies. Cute as buttons. And stubborn as hell probably. And smart. And impish. And utterly irresistible, impossible to stay mad at. God, they would be a handful! Her face grew into a big grin.

She was doing it again, almost planning the upbringing now. Damn! She scolded herself for being an idiot. And now she was horny too. Watching Jane building sand castles with a bunch of kids was obviously a serious turn-on…

She snorted again and decided that she had lost her mind but didn't mind. Her silent pun made her snort yet again and grin afterwards. Maybe she was simply in love. She'd heard people saying that it turned your brain into mush. And she felt a sense of happiness deep inside that she was sure she'd never experienced before. Just seeing Jane made her heart beat louder and made her all giddy. And she could touch him now, kiss him. He was hers and she was his and everything felt right.

She went over to him and his castle construction site and the moment he became aware of her his face turned from just happy to outright beaming. He looked carefree and contented. At peace with the world. And like he was completely present in the moment, not a snatch of sadness clouding his features for once – that kind of sadness that might have been caused by the memory of playing at the beach with his daughter.

During all the time she'd known him there'd always been at least a tiny bit of sadness mixed into his expression of happiness when he had been around children. She couldn't see it today. Nothing could have told her more clearly that he'd truly taken that last step to moving on. That he'd finally reached a state in which he could remember the past without a bloody smiley face marring the happy memories anymore. She felt intense joy for his sake – and for hers too – at the realization.

* * *

A short time later she had become fully involved into the castle project and had the important job of scratching some kind of brick design into the highest tower, a task which he – to her giggly amusement, not that she'd ever admit that – had introduced to her as paying homage to Madeleine.

The afternoon went by quickly that way and dinnertime was approaching fast. The kids had left with their parents and Jane and Lisbon lay side by side on their towels in the shadow of their impressive sand sculpture which had become the main attraction of the beach.

"You wanna go somewhere for dinner or stay in and order from room service?" Jane asked.

She turned from her back onto her side, her head propped up on her elbow so she could look at him, her free hand starting to draw patterns on his chest. "Actually, we're going on a date tonight," she announced.

A look of utter astonishment took over his face. "We do?"

"Yep. My treat." She enjoyed his dumbfounded expression, exceedingly proud that she'd managed to surprise Mr. Know-It-All. "Wear something nice but casual."

"Ahm." He swallowed, speechless for once.

She snickered, then pecked him on the nose. "Actually, we should probably go back now so we'll have time to clean up. I think, I have sand just about everywhere."

Still more or less at a loss for words he nodded and sat up. He started to collect their odds and ends, putting everything into the bag she'd provided for that purpose earlier when they'd decided how to spent their day. Lisbon helped him to his feet, handed him the crutches, and dealt with their towels.

"We are going on a date," he repeated, his tone expressing incredulous delight, a big grin on his face.

"Yep," she replied merrily.

They started on their rather slow journey back to the Blue Bird Lodge due to Jane and his crutches. "Mhm, Lisbon?" Jane asked. "Where are we going? I'm not sure I have that kind of clothes with me. I only have this suit and one other plus a few shirts. Does that count as casual? What type of place are we going to? Is it just eating or are we gonna do something else too?"

"You'll see," she replied with an air of mystery, provoking his curiosity.

She could see his rising state of excitement and grinned fondly at him. He might think that he knew all about her. But she sure as hell knew how to push his buttons too. And she had him exactly where she'd wanted him. He would be bursting with impatience by the time they'd reached their room. And the surprise that awaited him there would only enhance that. By the time they were ready to leave for their secret destination he'd be whining like a toddler, trying to make her reveal her plans for the night. With a self-satisfied grin she decided that scheming wasn't all that bad after all. At least not from this side of the fence…

* * *

**TBC**

**As always feedback and comments are very welcome and much appreciated! **


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I'm finally back with the next installment. Sorry it took so long but real life has to take priority once in a while. I'm glad, people seem to enjoy this fic and that my work helps us to survive the loooooong hiatus. **

**And thanks to all and everyone who expressed their appreciation for this story in any way or form. It's so nice to know that people like what I do!**

* * *

**This Is Not A Drill - Four**

Lisbon had seen a performance of a handicapped acrobat at a circus once in her youth. She'd been fascinated by the incredible control the man had had over his body and how he had made everybody forget for a few minutes that his crutches weren't just part of an act. Jane dancing around her, pestering her to reveal details about their date made her recall that childhood memory fondly – though Jane's performance was anything but elegant. He looked more like a possessed puppy misusing the sticks it was supposed to fetch for its owner. The thought made her grin brighten even more. Excited Jane was terribly cute.

"Lisbooooooon, please?" Jane whined. "Give me at least a hint."

"Nope," she replied smugly. "It's a surprise."

"Oh come on. Just a hint. Animal or vegetable?"

"Both, at least I seriously hope so," she answered merrily. "Stop it, Jane. I won't blab. It's too much fun to see you squirming like this."

He cast her an appreciative look. "Are you channeling me, Teresa? I think, I've created a monster."

"Let's just say that I have begun to see the merits of scheming when I'm the one in the know." Her shit-eating grin made Jane groan.

"Yep, monster. Definitely. You know that this means war, don't you? I have to make sure you don't take over the world of mischief or my usefulness is in serious jeopardy," he mock-threatened her while prancing around her on his crutches, making it impossible for her to go on walking without risking to make him trip.

With one purposeful move she got her arms around his waist and made him stop. "You're making me dizzy," she complained. She used the position to bury her face against his chest and inhaled his unique scent – the one she loved so much. He nuzzled her hair with his nose and pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

"Not that I wouldn't love to keep doing this, but standing on one leg is a bit exhausting," he whispered into her hair. "Let's get back to our room. God, I want you. Do we have time for that?"

She looked up at him. "Afraid not. Maybe if we share the tub?" She motioned for him to give her access to his wrist watch and after taking a look she shook her head and she sighed. "We really don't have much time left. But later, okay?"

"Definitely," he said.

* * *

They made their way back to their room as speedily as possible for Jane on his crutches. Lisbon opened the door and entered ahead of him, making sure to turn around so she wouldn't miss the look on his face when he got his first glance.

He came in eagerly, having gathered from her stance that he'd be in for a surprise. His eyes went wide. "You got me jeans? And a shirt? And new socks?" He beamed at her, looking so ridiculously touched and happy that it made her heart ache a bit .

"You got me three beautiful dresses, Patrick. This is nothing," she said shyly, blushing a little.

Jane dropped the crutches and hobbled over to her. "This is not nothing, Teresa," he declared, pulling her into one of his big hugs. "Thanks for caring so much for me," he whispered in her ear, voice breaking a bit.

"Of course I care for you. I want to take care of you. You deserve to be cared for," Lisbon replied, slightly flustered.

He released her a bit in order to be able to make eye contact. "I hope, I do. It feels great," he stated, still beaming like a loon.

"Go, try them on, Jane. I want to see if they fit," Lisbon said. His immense gratitude was making her a bit uncomfortable. She had no idea why he reacted that way, and she had already been somewhat confused at how thrilled he'd been back when she'd given him those socks a few months ago.

He hobbled over to the bed an sat down on the edge, face full of wonder.

* * *

When she'd gone back to the hotel to make some phone calls and organize a few things a few hours ago a certain talk had suddenly given her the idea to arrange this date for them. In their room she had seen the beautiful dresses he'd bought for her and had had a good look around, taking in her surroundings, recalling how much she'd appreciated everything when they'd first arrived.

She was still not quite over the fact that he'd used a cold case to set this up but her anger was slowly turning into acceptance. Now that she knew that he honestly loved her she could see the thoughtful gesture behind his scheme. When she'd accused him of being a twisted, awful human being who never for a second considered what she truly wanted, she hadn't been entirely correct. Yes, he'd chosen a typical manipulative Jane scheme because – as he had admitted – he had forgotten how to act like a normal person. Direct and open hadn't been options for him for over a decade and he'd fallen back on his usual patterns, like people – she included – tended to do in times of emotional struggle. He'd tried everything in his power to tell her how much he loved her without using the actual words. She could appreciate that somewhat now.

And truth be told, she had avoided being alone with him during the last weeks, making it even more difficult for him to choose a direct approach. She hadn't even told him in person about her decision to leave – something she knew had hurt him deeply and had probably re-enforced his fears and insecurities and made it yet a bit harder for him to be honest with her. And besides, Jane would always be Jane. He was like a force of nature. You could either go with the flow – at least to a certain degree – or you'd end up struggling against the power of the incoming waves forever.

Then after some phone calls – a few of them quite awkward because they'd involved her telling people that she wouldn't go to DC after all and that she'd broken up with Marcus – she'd had that one talk that had reconciled her with all the unpleasant ones. It had been to the Rigsby-Van Pelt household. Grace had been the one to take her call and a very loud, happy squeal had been the first reaction she'd gotten from the redhead. After Grace had calmed down a bit she'd explained that they'd gotten a call the day before from a very subdued Cho, announcing that he owed them 100 bucks each. He'd however – in usual Cho-style – not been very forthcoming with the details and so Lisbon had told Van Pelt more or less the whole story.

"Wow, you were really ready to marry another man?" Grace had asked in total confusion. "But you had only been with that Pike guy for a few weeks and I never even understood why you'd decided to go to DC with him in the first place. I mean, you've been in love with Jane for years. And vice versa. I'm not sure, I understand."

"I'm not sure, I understand it either," Lisbon had confessed. "I'm still trying to make sense of it all. Of my whole relationship with Marcus to be honest."

"And Jane really created a case for you, like a scavenger hunt almost? And on a paradise island in Florida? And he got you nice dresses and booked rooms in a really nice hotel? And wanted to share a gourmet dinner with you? Geez! He's a total idiot but it's kind of romantic," Grace had said. "And kind of thoughtful, in a Jane-ishly absurd kind of way. I mean, he really arranged things exactly the way you'd enjoy them the most. Because let's be honest: you would have probably never allowed him to take you somewhere that nice just like that. But since a case and thus work was involved – you were ready to indulge a bit, right? Bastard knows you too well, boss."

* * *

That had been the point when Lisbon had had the idea to be the one to organize their first real date. One they would both enjoy, which had brought home the fact that most of her dates with Marcus had been arranged by him and with his own entertainment in mind more than hers. She'd accompanied him to several boring events, never really complaining, just kind of happy to have a social life for once. And he'd neither been perceptive nor attentive enough to really notice. For example not even her falling asleep at the movies had given him the hint that old films weren't exactly her favorites.

Jane on the other hand for all his flaws knew exactly how to give her a good time and make sure that she truly enjoyed herself. He knew that she did like some glamor once in a while but rarely allowed herself that kind of luxury. And he knew that most of the time she preferred a casual setting.

With great fondness she remembered their meal at _Il Tavolo Bianco_ – another example of indulging on the job, she realized. And obviously an attempt to meddle in their affairs from her softie of a match-making boss. The thought made her blush a bit.

That night had been the most fun she'd had and the happiest she'd been in years. After a few moments of awkwardness in the beginning their old and easy banter had returned and with it their comfortable familiarity. There had been no need to impress or pretend to be someone else – something she had done around Marcus all the time but hadn't allowed herself to fully realize back then.

Jane and Lisbon had shared their respective meals, stealing from the other's plate the way they'd often done over the years, always insisting that the other had gotten the better tasting dish and that it was only fair to share.

They'd laughed a lot that night and for a moment she'd been able to forget DC and Pike and life altering decisions and had just enjoyed to be together with the man she loved. Jane had been attentive and sweet and funny and entertaining and they'd exchanged a few very deep looks that had made her heart beat faster.

In hindsight she had to say that it had to have been the world's most terrible timing that had led to Marcus being the one who'd opened the door to her house that night Jane had come by with the cannoli. She was relatively sure now that he hadn't planned to tell her that stuff about her happiness being the most important thing to him. Not that she doubted the truth of his statement. He'd proven that he'd accept whatever she decided would make her happy two nights ago.

But now she could be honest with herself and admit that she had seen tears glistering in his eyes that night on her front step and she had heard how his voice had been breaking and how hard it had been for him – who was usually Mr. Eloquence – to find words at all. But what should Jane have said that night other than what he did, considering who'd been right behind her door, obviously so much at home at her place that he'd even opened when Jane had come by? Now she could see clearly that she'd actually expected Jane to admit his feelings to her on her porch with her boyfriend just a few feet away, probably even listening in. She'd been mad at Jane for not doing it, resigned and disappointed afterwards, but really? What should the poor guy have done under the circumstances?

All these thoughts had whirled around in her head, reminding her once again that she really had to do a lot of soul searching in the near future. But then she'd cleared her head and gone down to the reception desk to ask for possible locations for her first date with Jane. After a lovely talk with Rose, one of the front desk girls and fortunately a local, she'd found the perfect place. And due to Rose knowing someone who was related to someone Lisbon had actually gotten a reservation for the same night when normally you needed to book weeks ahead.

Then she'd realized that Jane didn't really have the sort of clothes her choice for the evening required. He wouldn't be entirely out of place with his patterned shirts, but still. And he could really need something new to wear anyway.

To serve as a measure she'd taken along the pants from his extra suit and one of his shirts and had gone shopping. The result was a pair of blue jeans and a casual white shirt as well as a pair of dark blue socks. She'd fantasized about how gorgeous he'd be looking in that outfit. Now she hoped that the jeans would do exactly what she imagined them to do for his well-shaped behind.

* * *

A minute or two later he still sat on the edge of the bed transfixed at the sight of his new clothes lying on 'his' side of it.

"Patrick, it's only a few pieces of clothing," Lisbon said, stepping closer and ruffling his hair. "Why is it such a big deal? You got me a lot more after all." Being near him made her see that he had actual tears in his eyes.

"It's just… it's just bringing back a lot of memories. Good ones. Of being cherished once," he whispered.

Resuming her caress she said warmly, "Why don't you tell me about those memories while we're getting ready in the bathroom, honey? Or are they too… I don't know, too private?"

"They're not too private. Nothing's too private between us," Jane replied adamantly and got up, taking a hold of his crutches. "You coming?"

His announcement made her heart skip a beat and she thought 'wow'. Patrick Jane was obviously really willing to share things with her from now on.

* * *

They took turns in the shower to resist temptation and while they got ready he explained, "As you can imagine, carnie life isn't exactly profitable. We barely had enough money to make ends meet and the moment my father got his hands on some extra cash he rather spent it on booze and gambling than on me. So except for my stage clothes I never had anything decent to wear as a child. Always got some hand-me-downs from other carnie families who took pity on me and scolded my father for besmirching the circuit's reputation with my disgraceful looks. Telling him that being traveling people didn't equal being vagabonds."

He took a deep breath and cast a look at her, probably to find out how she was reacting to his candor. She tried to smile encouragingly while she was fuming inside. She had of course suspected that his childhood hadn't been ideal but this was beginning to sound a lot worse than that.

"Anyway," he continued, "when Angela and I left the carnie life behind we had hardly any money at first. We did odd jobs and such and we survived but had no spare money at all. Then Angela got a job at a bar playing the piano. She was a great player, a really talented musician, you know. And she made good money there. So when she'd gotten her first pay check she didn't tell me but took me out shopping instead. Bought me the first real new clothes I'd ever had in my life. It's hard to explain how much that meant to me." His voice broke at the end and a lone tear ran down his cheek.

"Oh Patrick," Lisbon whispered, engulfing him in her arms.

So many things suddenly fell into place in her mind. Twelve years of knowing Patrick Jane and his odd habits when it came to clothes finally made perfect sense. And his extreme joy at receiving that pair of socks when he'd come back from Venezuela didn't seem odd anymore and neither did his heartfelt reaction today. Obviously until they'd met he'd only ever been the first priority of one person in his life and that was the very one whose death he'd blamed himself for for years.

She felt an overwhelming urge to take care of him and cherish him and was truly glad she'd not only bought him those clothes but also arranged their date. He needed to be pampered and spoiled.

"We should get ready," he mumbled into her hair, his voice sounding a bit sheepish. "I don't mean to be so maudlin. The last days have been a bit overwhelming, I guess." She released him and they shared a sweet kiss.

"That's totally alright with me, Patrick. I'm actually touched and honored that you trust me with your memories. But now I want to see your gorgeous butt in jeans, buster."

He gifted her with a big grin. "I'm not sure, I wanna risk that, Lisbon. You might not be able to resist me and I really want to go on that date."

She snorted. "I'll try my very best to restrain myself," she replied dryly but she had to admit that he did have a point…

* * *

Lisbon found out that Jane as usual exceeded expectations. And she decided she needed to send a big thank-you note to the job assistant in the department store she'd visited. The young woman had recommended the ideal cut – that much became obvious the moment Jane had closed the buttons. He had the most perfect butt she'd ever seen on a man and those jeans showed that off to perfection. And combined with his naked torso he looked overwhelmingly gorgeous.

She stood behind him in open-mouthed admiration, glad that his back was turned to her and he couldn't see her drooling. She made a note to herself to never let him out of her sight when he was outside in jeans – both for her own enjoyment and because she had to stake her claim.

"It's been ages since I've worn jeans," he stated, obviously not entirely aware of her state. "Not quite as comfy as well-tailored pants but they'll do in a pinch."

All he got instead of an answer was a mixture between a helpless whimper, a sigh, and a grunt.

Bemused he turned around and chuckled. "I guess, I pretty much looked like that when you came down the stairs in that pink dress two nights ago." He stepped over to her and covered her still open mouth with his lips, effectively throwing her from one daze into the next.

* * *

It was the phone on the night table ringing that prevented things from getting out of hand. Jane answered it since Lisbon still seemed entirely too out of it. A moment later he turned back to her and announced that their car was going to be there in five minutes.

In a frenzy they got ready. Jane put on the shirt which fit him perfectly as well and Lisbon resolved herself to do everything in her power to make Jane wear casual clothes whenever he was off duty from now on. "Undo another button and roll up your sleeves," she ordered to his amusement, but he followed her request immediately.

Lisbon felt like dessert had been served early.

The swelling on his foot was down enough so he could wear his new socks and both shoes but since it was impossible for him to use the splint in his brown loafers he still had to use the crutches.

They decided to go shoe shopping the next day before they hurried down to the entrance where a cab was waiting for them. They sat down in the backseat holding hands. The driver already had his directions – Lisbon had made sure of that because she knew it would drive her partner crazy. The new clothes had distracted him for a while but now his curiosity peaked again. The excited expression on his face made her giggle.

"You're still not gonna give me a hint?" he asked, looking at her with puppy dog eyes.

"Let me think… nope," she replied though she had to admit that he was hard to resist.

He sighed theatrically. "But you could at least confirm that you're gonna feed me. I'm starving. I built a whole castle for you after all, my princess," he beseeched her.

"Aren't you a real prince charming today," she teased.

* * *

Ten minutes later they'd arrived at their destination. 'CHOICES' was the name that greeted them from a tasteful dark green neon sign. The whole place was basically one big, open space with a roof consisting of bamboo and built on the beach, most of the light coming from torches. The center piece was an area that looked a lot like a huge sushi-go-around. In the middle of it there were five cooking zones with one chef for each. About twenty seats were arranged two and two around the conveyor belt.

Jane and Lisbon were led to the only two empty seats. Their waitress explained to a grinning and utterly delighted Jane and happy smiling Lisbon how this very special Thai restaurant worked. The conveyor belt was filled with a seemingly unending assortment of vegetables, fruits, seafood, meats, herbs, nuts, and spices. One could pick whatever one liked in smaller or bigger portions and a chef would prepare the food freshly in front of them in a wok and with the curry or other Thai sauce one wished. One could have several small dishes or bigger ones – just as one pleased.

Lisbon had loved the idea immediately when the desk clerk Rose had told her about the place and the reality of it was just as nice as she'd hoped. Jane looked giddy with joy, rubbing his hands with glee just as she had expected. He loved to try new things when it came to food and today he could experiment to his heart's desire. They both liked Thai so this had seemed like the perfect location and so far she had not been disappointed.

They ordered cocktails and started to take in the ingredients on offer.

"This is fantastic," Jane said, grinning like a loon. They raised their glasses. "I love it, Teresa. Thanks, this is… well, just thank you."

"You're welcome, Patrick. I'm glad you like it. I hope, it was worth the wait," she replied with a wink.

"Oh yes. And if it tastes half as good as my company looks, it'll be absolutely spectacular," he answered smoothly. And though she knew he was piling it on and exaggerating deliberately to tease her, his eyes told her that he meant every word of it anyway. This was not Jane, the calculating charmer, who pulled out all the stops to get what he wanted. No. This was Jane in love, flirting with her.

It felt fantastic and made her all giddy inside. She couldn't help but smile back at him. "Thanks," she said bashfully, not used to such outrageous compliments, especially ones that were genuine. After a moment to regain her poise she decided that she could get used to this but that she still needed to get them back on safer territory or she wouldn't survive dinner without ravishing him.

Banter, she told herself. Banter was something they were very good at and used to. Unfortunately her mind had other ideas. "Well, if it tastes as good as you, I'll be fine," she blurted out, only then realizing that this certainly was neither their usual kind of banter, nor safe territory. She blushed a deep red and was very thankful that it had at least been for his ears only.

Lisbon could see clearly that Jane did his best to avoid laughing out loud and attracting unwanted attention to them and she loved him even more for it. An undignified snort came out instead. Then he bent over to her and whispered in her ear, "You could always consider me your dessert. But until then I recommend other meat." He kissed her on the cheek, then let his eyes wander to the conveyor belt to give her a moment to compose herself.

* * *

They had a great time afterwards. The food was excellent and so was the company and the only downside was that they couldn't taste all they would've liked to sample because it was simply too big a selection. But they had fun, lots of it. Jane was experimenting and having the time of his life doing so, Lisbon was seemingly playing it safe but stealing from his dishes all the time without shame. He had impeccable taste after all and that turned out to hold true also when it came to combining ingredients. His unusual but still obviously well thought-out choices were all truly delicious.

Due to the nature of the restaurant and because they had decided to try as many and different small dishes as possible, their meal took several hours with small breaks whenever the chef was busy preparing food for other guests or while they were picking out their next choices. It gave them ample time to talk, and while they kept it light most of the time, some more serious topics came up too.

"How are things going to be when we get back to Austin, Jane?" Lisbon asked with some hesitation. "I mean, where do you want to go from here?"

"That's quite the question, my dear. What exactly do you mean? Is it a general kind of question or is this about anything in particular?" he inquired.

She was truly surprised about his questions. Obviously he had decided not to draw any conclusions for once but to actually ask her. She needed a moment to contemplate that. "What I mean is, well. Actually, I'm not sure what I mean. What do you want from this… this thing between us?" she asked a bit sheepishly.

"Our relationship, you mean? Because it's not just a thing, Teresa. Not to me, anyway." He smiled warmly at her. "I want us to be together. I'm not picky about the details but I'd very much like for us to be living together at some point. Right away if it was merely up to me, but I'd understand it if you needed a bit of time to get there." He put his hand over hers on the table top, squeezing gently. "I want to wake up knowing that the first thing I'll see is you." His smile grew even brighter for a moment before he turned more somber again. "And I want to find out who I am now – with you of course but I also think, I'll have to find out as an individual. I'm not sure who I am at the moment. That it is a man you are able to love gives me hope that it is someone I can come to love too."

She smiled warmly at him. "You're very loveable, Patrick. Annoying as hell too, but that's somehow part of your charm." She turned serious. "And I feel like I need to do quite a bit of soul searching too. I'd like for us to do it together. Maybe we can help each other to work through some issues. I know, we don't have the best success rate when it comes to communicating but I'd like to work on that."

"Sounds good to me. Difficult but worth it. How about living arrangements? Do you still have a place to stay in Austin?" he asked carefully.

She sighed. "I'm afraid not. I had only rented the place and they already have a new tenant. I can spend the first few days there and fortunately my stuff's still there too. But I've to clear the house in about ten days from now. I'm not sure what to do."

"How about trying to find a place together?" he asked tentatively. "The Airstream was always meant only as a temporary solution until, well, until…" He looked down on his empty plate.

Her eyes grew bigger and bigger. "Are you meaning to tell me that you had plans to move in with me all along?"

"More like dreams, really," he hurried to say. "I want a home, a real home. Just me in some abode – that's not a home in my book. A home is something you build with the people you love."

"I'm a bit… I don't know what to say… So, the silver bucket wasn't your… I don't know, your get-away vehicle – for want of a better word?" she inquired nervously.

He looked astonished. "Get-away vehicle? What would I want to get away from? I mean, I might have if you'd gone to DC. But everything I wanted was in Austin until you decided to leave," he confessed, a glint of sadness in his eyes. "I came back to be with you. That was my sole reason. The Airstream was more like my idea of a home away from home for us because we have to travel so much. But I know, you don't like it. So, well…"

Now it was her turn to be astonished. "You…?" She paused, not finding the right words. "You came back for me?" she finally asked.

"Yes, of course. Number one term, remember? I understand that it was very selfish of me to just assume that you'd feel the same way and that your outlook on life hadn't changed during my two years in Venezuela. I'm ashamed to say that it truly didn't cross my mind." He cast a short glance at her before his eyes went back to studying his empty plate again.

"While I wrote my letters to you and walked around on that island I fantasized about you all the time and imagined how you were doing. It's what got me through the days. But I was caught up in my little fantasy world where you wanted the same things I did. To me crime solving wasn't involved at all – not for me at least. Though probably something you'd want to continue with. I just wanted to be with you in which ever way possible." He swallowed audibly.

"After Dennis had offered me that first deal of his and I'd had some time to think, I realized that this was my big chance to make it happen – on my terms of course. I am a self-absorbed jerk, I know. I just assumed that you'd jump at the chance to work with me again. Selfish and idiotic, I know. But back then it seemed like a matter of course to me. I'm really sorry for that, Lisbon."

She sighed. "Your actions did hurt me, but I don't want to talk about that now, Jane. I know that what I said to you on that flight to New York has had a big impact on you, though I'm only now beginning to realize how much." She looked at his downcast posture and didn't like it at all.

"Please, Patrick, look at me." He raised his head and she longed to make the sadness vanish from his eyes. "I know you tried to adjust your behavior afterwards. But instead of encouraging you, every time you fell back on old behavior patterns, I resented the hell out of you. And I know that I overreacted and hurt you and sent you mixed signals. I could see that you struggled. I did. I just… I don't know. That's part of what I have to think about."

She took hold of his hand that had been drumming nervously on the table. Entwining their fingers she continued, "We both made mistakes, honey. And we'll sort it out, okay? But not by allotting blame. That's in the past. I don't want to see you so guilt ridden anymore. You've done more than enough of that over the years. I love you, Patrick. And I forgive you, in case you need to hear that."

He nodded, his eyes glistening with unshed tears, but a genuine happy smile appeared on his lips. "Thank you, Teresa," he said sincerely and quietly.

"You are very welcome. Let's leave it there for now, okay?" she said.

He nodded and brought their intertwined hands up to his lips, pressing a kiss to the back of her hand. Then he said cheerfully, "And now I'll have mixed seafood with that 'Farmer style' curry together with Thai eggplants, bamboo, chillies, Krachai roots, young pepper, Thai basil, and coconut cream. Yum!"

* * *

The rest of the evening passed with easy talk, lots of flirting, good food, and too many cocktails – though as they both had a few non-alcoholic versions too, they ended up being only slightly tipsy when they left 'CHOICES' around midnight. They took a cap back to the Blue Bird Lodge. Upon arrival at their room, Jane pulled Lisbon into his arms. "Thank you so much for this wonderful evening, my love. This was a great date. I had so much fun. And I love you so, so much," he declared exuberantly.

She buried her hands in his curls and pulled his head down into a deep kiss in answer. Things got heated very fast and before long they were both naked and on the bed, Jane on top of Lisbon, caressing, licking, and kissing his way down her body, unerringly covering all her most sensitive spots. She turned into a boneless heap and by the time he touched her where she needed it the most, a few soft, deliberate licks were enough to make her fall apart, moaning his name in ecstasy.

It took her a few minutes to come down. The first thing she saw after opening her eyes again was the love-struck face of her partner who was hovering above her. "You're so beautiful in the throes of orgasm," he announced sweetly. "So, so beautiful." One of his hands caressed her cheek, removing some wayward locks of her hair in the process.

She smiled up at him but his open adoration also made her feel slightly flustered. She wasn't used to men telling her things like that. It made her feel beautiful and feminine and desirable, but as that was an unusual, new experience for her as well, she didn't know how to react to it.

He sensed that of course, perceptive as he was. He kissed her embarrassment away and said, "You'll get used to it eventually, my love. 'Cause I won't stop telling you how incredibly beautiful you are. Both inside and outside. I love you, Teresa."

"I love you too. And… and you're beautiful too, Patrick. Inside and outside." She replied with a blush, surprising herself with her bold words. Then with a determined move she switched their positions around so he was now lying on his back with her on top. "You shouldn't put weight on your ankle, Jane," she mock-scolded him, playfully poking him in the chest for emphasis until he grabbed her pointer finger, put it in his mouth, and bit it lightly with a growl. She giggled. But things turn heated again soon afterwards when he started sucking on her finger, curling his tongue around it, his eyes staring at her with hunger.

She freed her finger and put it into her own mouth, tasting him on it, mingling their saliva. He moaned. "Teresaaa."

Her lips covered his. He pulled her close to his chest, his hands caressing her back, squeezing her buttocks, pushing her against his rock hard erection. "Please, Teresa, I want to be inside of you."

"Oh yes," she groaned. Her hands took hold of him, she raised her hips and guided him to where she wanted him the most. Sitting down she impaled herself on his shaft, both whimpering at the wonderful feeling of being united again.

She started to move, quite slowly at first. He begged her to go faster but she just smiled down at him. "I want to take my time."

"More like you want to torture me," he groaned. "Please, have mercy." When she didn't show any signs of changing her rhythm, he started raising his hips to meet her.

She stopped moving and cast him a very strict look. "I told you not to put any weight on your ankle, Jane."

He panted. "Your fault," he pressed out. "I told you, I need more. I've been hot for you all night. Stop being stubborn and I'll do the same."

"I'm not stubborn," she said stubbornly. "I just want it to last. It feels so good to have you inside of me."

He sighed. "I understand that and I love to feel connected with you too. But I really need more right now. Please, Lisbon. We can do slow and easy later but I feel like I'm going crazy here."

"You think, you'll be up for another round tonight, old man?" she teased him. "Aren't we a bit swanky here?"

"Speak for yourself," he growled. "Old man! Pah! If you don't start moving, I'll show you what this old man is capable of – ankle be damned."

She chuckled, enjoying the mutinous expression on his face. But she could also see that he'd really reached the limit of his self-restraint and while being in control and having so much power over her partner had been fun, she didn't want to overplay her hand. And giving him the pleasure he sought was an even better feeling. So after kissing his pouting lips and biting 'her' spot on his neck lightly, she started moving for real. She found the angle that gave her the most simulation too and set a much faster pace than before.

It didn't take long for her to get close to her own peak. Her movements grew more erratic and her growing arousal seemed to enhance Jane's pleasure too judging from his moans. She was nearly there when he exploded inside of her. She could feel his release and that together with the look of bliss on his face brought her over the edge. Her contracting channel around his sensitive penis made him whimper with pleasure bordering on pain.

* * *

Suddenly being like that with him felt almost overwhelming to her, almost too much. The intensity of her feelings for him caught her off guard, the deep, all consuming love, the power of knowing that he felt the same way. The day before after their first union she'd gotten a glimpse but it was only now that she truly realized that this was real. That she was with him. He was hers and she was his. She could touch him, kiss him, hold him, even ogle him openly if she wanted to. After all these years the dreams she'd only allowed herself to have once in a while – they'd become reality. He was back, really back for her and with her. He wanted her, desired her, loved her, respected her.

He was still buried deep inside of her though he was slowly growing softer. She felt like she was solely existing down there at the place of their most intimate connection. Like her whole being was concentrated around their union. The love she felt for him and for them was mind-blowing.

She couldn't keep him inside of her much longer and the loss made her release a heartfelt sob. He pulled her down on his chest and held her tight. "Sh, I know," he whispered gently. "I feel it too."

She clung to him and he pulled her even closer, caressing her back, one hand massaging her scalp. "Please never leave me," she murmured against his chest.

"Not if I can help it," he stated solemnly. "Would you promise me the same?" he asked carefully.

"Yes," she replied without hesitation. She raised her head so she could see his face. "And about your earlier question…"

He looked puzzled. "Which one?"

"The one about looking for a place together," she explained.

"What about it?" he asked tentatively.

She locked eyes with him. "I want that. I want to build that home you talked about. I want to build it with you, Patrick."

His face lit up like a wildfire, his smile almost splitting it in two. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" he exclaimed "You've just made me the happiest man in the world."

She lowered her head an kissed him. "The thought makes me happy too, " she said afterwards. "We can start looking on the internet tomorrow. Maybe we can find some places to look at for when we get back to Austin."

"Ah, there's my practical Lisbon," he teased. "Have you decided on the color scheme for our bedroom already too?"

"Who says we'll share a bedroom?" she teased back. "Pretty presumptuous, Mr. Jane."

He chuckled. "Nah. I'll make do with the couch in the living room and hope that the lady of the manor will invite me into her bedroom to service her once in a while."

"That sounds about right. I'm glad you know your place," she replied snootily. "And if you promise to wear jeans around the house, you might just get lucky once in a while too."

He snorted. "That's mighty nice of you and quite heartening to know. But let's be honest here: if I'm wearing jeans around the house, you won't be able to resist me at all. You'll beg me to come to your bed."

"Is that so?" she asked, her brows raised. "Quite sure of yourself, are you?"

"Yep," he replied smugly, making her giggle. She couldn't deny that he was absolutely right. And she wouldn't want him anywhere but in her arms at night.

"God help me, but I'm afraid there's no denying it. I have no idea how I'll survive having you around 24/7 but not having you around isn't an option either," she said, only half teasing now.

His expression turned serious. "I can keep the Silver Sovereign so you can send me away whenever I'm too annoying and exhausting," he offered. "I'll do whatever it takes to make it work."

She shook her head. "No, Jane. That's not how it's gonna be. It's gonna be our home and I won't send you away the moment we're having problems. We'll get a place big enough so both of us can have some space for ourselves when needed. But I don't want you to ever feel like you're not welcome in your own home."

"Thank you," he said, voice thick with emotion. "I hope, you won't regret it. I know, I'm not an easy person to be around."

"Neither am I," she replied. "In fact, I have never shared a place with a man other than family. So it could very well turn out that I'm much more difficult to live with. You're at least housebroken already."

He smiled. "That might be true. But I haven't allowed anyone close for over a decade. I guess, we'll both have to do quite a bit of adjusting. But we'll be fine. We've been through so much together already and still love each other. A few domestic quarrels about everyday stuff will be like a piece of cake in comparison with that."

"You're probably right." She bent down to kiss him again but had to break it earlier than she wanted because of a yawn. "Mhm, Jane?"

"Yes, my dear?"

"I know, I kind of teased you about a second round tonight. But I'm really tired," she said sheepishly.

He chuckled. "Well, the old man is a tad exhausted too, so he'll grant you some rest. How about morning sex?"

"Is that a promise or a threat?" she asked with a grin.

"Whatever you want it to be. It'll happen anyway," he announced merrily.

She pecked him on the nose. "Being presumptuous again, Mr. Jane?"

"Nope, just totally irresistible," he said smugly. "A force of nature. All the elements wrapped into one hot package. Unstoppable, intoxicating, addictive."

She laughed out loud while she started to climb of off him. "Right now you're more like sticky on the cusp of turning outright gluey if we don't clean up a bit soon. Come on, Jane. Get your old bones into the bathroom."

"You're a very hard taskmaster, special agent Lisbon," he whined, sitting up slowly with a dramatic groan and a suffering face.

"You better believe it, honey." Belying her words, she ruffled his curls lovingly. "Let's get ready for bed. I'm really tired," she added softly.

"Will there be at least a bit of cuddling when we get back?" he inquired with a hopeful expression.

"I'm sure, I can manage a bit of that if that is what is needed as an incentive for you to brush your teeth, Paddybear" she teased him, while her inside was rejoicing at the thought of falling asleep in his arms.

She could positively see him reading her thoughts by the big, goofy grin forming on his face. "I'm sure, it'll be real hardship for you to snuggle with me," he teased her right back, while he got up and looked around for his crutches. He spotted them underneath a pile of their clothes a few feet away from the bed.

She followed his gaze and retrieved them for him. He took some steps in the direction of the en-suite under her watchful eyes. Naked Jane on crutches was a very nice sight, she decided. Especially his backside was lovely with the muscles working in his thighs doing wonderful things to his butt. She ogled him for a moment before she followed him inside the bathroom. On a whim she pinched one of his cheeks in passing. "You owe me one after all," she announced.

To her amusement he emitted an unmanly squeak, then looked at her in utter astonishment. "I do? That's not very likely, Lisbon. Firstly I'm sure I'd remember such a momentous event. And secondly and most importantly I would have never ever dared to do such a thing to you."

"Oh yes, you did," she said.

For a moment he seemed truly puzzled then something seemed to dawn on him. "Oh my," he said. "The fugue state?"

"Got it in one." She grinned.

"For what it's worth: I apologize for my inappropriate behavior," he replied. "Though I must say, it's a real pity, I can't remember," he added cheekily. "It's actually a state of affairs I simply cannot live with." With that he dropped one of his crutches and pinched her right back.

"Hey!" she exclaimed, planting a resounding smack on his backside. "You dirty old man."

He laughed out loud, a sound Lisbon was sure she'd never heard from him before. It sounded carefree and unrestraint, was totally infectious and she knew, she wanted to hear it again.

Both still giggly and giddy they cleaned up, brushed their teeth, and got ready. Back in bed together they switched off the lights and snuggled until they fell asleep in each other's arms.

* * *

**TBC**

**Feedback and comments are always very welcome and truly appreciated.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Originally I had planned for Jane and Lisbon to leave Florida and get back to Austin in this chapter but those two had other ideas... I know, this story is moving very slowly but I feel like Jane and Lisbon have so many issues they need to deal with and the wonderful surroundings of Islamorada and the time alone with each other there are the ideal setting for them to tackle some very tough subjects and still enjoy a little "honeymoon"... Home in Austin work and everyday life will have to be on the forefront of their minds. Right now they're still very busy finding their feet in their new romantic union. I'm granting them this reprieve after all the torture they put each other (and us!) through... I hope, you'll enjoy this new installment even though it's slow-paced...**

**Once again a big thank you to all the reviewers etc. - especially to all the guest reviewers because I couldn't thank you personally.** **I'm so grateful for all the nice feedback. It motivates me very much.**

* * *

**This Is Not A Drill – Five**

After a round of tranquil morning sex – slow and easy and yet new and intense, both still warm and cuddly from sleep – they lay in each other's arms making plans for the day. "First breakfast, then shoe shopping," Lisbon suggested. "And we have to book our flights back to Austin. We have to leave in a couple of days."

"I want to spend some time on the beach again at some point," Jane said. "I really miss the ocean in Austin. Got re-accustomed to having it close by in Venezuela. Angela always claimed that the seaside is my natural habitat. She used to call me Triton, that's one of Poseidon's sons and a merman. I loved our house in Malibu," he told her, a small smile on his lips, his hands busy playing with her hair.

He searched her eyes, "You don't mind me talking about Angela, do you? I don't want to make you uncomfortable, Teresa."

She kissed him. "No, Patrick. It's a bit weird but mostly because you've hardly done so before. And of course it's kind of strange to know that you've had… I mean that you've… that I'm not…" She stopped, not finding the right words to express her feelings, biting her lower lip a bit nervously.

He touched her cheek gently. "I hope, you know that you're not second best, Teresa. It's true that we would have probably never met if certain events hadn't taken place. But isn't that always the case? I've done that whole what-if?-business too many times to count. Never got me anywhere. Right now, as hard as it was to acknowledge and accept for myself, I'm at the point where I can say that circumstances have turned me into the man who loves Teresa Lisbon and that's how it should be."

He took a deep breath. "Doesn't mean that I won't still miss Angela and Charlotte. They've left a big imprint on my heart and they'll always have a place there. But I've come to understand that they too have contributed to forming the man who loves you with all of his heart. And loving them means loving you and loving you means loving them too. That's the truth of how I feel inside of my heart."

She kissed him again, longer this time. "This is probably the most beautiful thing you've ever said to me," she whispered in awe. "And I can't tell you how much it means to me to hear that. Knowing that you've loved someone so much before kind of made me feel… I don't know. Not exactly second best, but not first choice either. But the way you've… your words, they put things in a new perspective. Thank you, Patrick."

They made love again after that, even more tenderly than before, their mouths never losing contact, connected in deep kisses.

* * *

By the time they were ready to emerge from their room, it was too late for the hotel breakfast. They decided to combine their shopping trip with a visit to a diner after Jane had claimed that he was in dire need of a huge amount of eggs because Lisbon had made him spent so much protein lately.

"And what, pray tell, is your excuse for needing to eat all those eggs before over the years?" she asked teasingly, her eyes sporting a mischievous glint.

He held up his right hand and looked first at it and then at her with such an overdone guilty expression that she couldn't stop herself from bursting out into a full out roaring laughter. "Geez, Jane! Are planning to kill me?" she pressed out, panting for air.

He shrugged, his face showing his mirth. "Hey, it's your own fault. You asked me to be honest, didn't you? And it's high time that I introduced you to my best friend of the past decade anyway."

A new wave of giggles shook her. "Jane, please!"

"What?" he asked innocently. "It's gonna be your good friend too from now on. You can't have already forgotten how nice it was to you just an hour ago, Lisbon."

"Stop it, Jane," she begged with tears running down her cheeks, fighting a losing battle to compose herself.

Just as she'd manage to calm down a bit, he grinned smugly. "You ready for those eggs now, Lisbon?" Which of course made her giggle again.

"Please, Jane, have mercy," she begged

"But you're so awfully cute like this," he said, and with a wink he added, "You have no idea how tempting it is to spend yet a few proteins on you."

She escaped into the bathroom after that, giving up her hope that she'd ever regain her poise in his presence. A lot of cold water in her face and a few minutes without another outrageous comment from him later she dared to leave. God, how she loved that idiot! She was pretty sure, she'd never been so happy in her life before. This was how it was supposed to be. How good and freeing laughing like that had felt – though her stomach still ached a little from the force of it. If this was the reward for all the heartache and headaches, hurt and pain, frustration and irritation Jane had caused her over the years, she could already say that it had been totally worth it. Smart, drop dead gorgeous, sweet, and funny – a lethal combination. And the best part was that he was all hers!

* * *

They discussed some practical matters over breakfast. Like what kind of place they wanted to look for in Austin. "Your house in Malibu is kind of posh and modern. I'm not really into that style," Lisbon admitted.

Jane shrugged. "That's okay. I don't insist on any specific style. The house served several purposes and one was representation. I received clients there – rich and pretentious ones – with the goal to con them out of their money. That's why the place had to give the impression of tidiness, trustworthiness, and a certain wealth with a few toys lying around to show me as a responsible family man. I lived amongst the rich and famous there and most of my clients weren't into any esoteric mumbo-jumbo and liked their psychic to be a modern man of their own social stratum."

He took a sip of his tea. "I carefully avoided to mention my carnie upbringing or anything else that would cast that kind of light on me. Hence the style of the house. And Angela liked modern elegance and clean lines. Her family was basically carnie royalty and they tend to decorate their trailers with as much frill and pomp as possible to show off their status. She wanted to get as far from that as possible."

"So what is it you would like your home to be like these days?" Lisbon inquired curiously, enjoying Jane's new openness about himself very much.

"Mhm," Jane murmured. "Not easy to say. I have some general ideas but nothing specific, I'm afraid. I like things to be open and bright. And I want things to feel homey – whatever that means. Maybe a fireplace. Oh, and in case you hadn't guessed that: I'm very particular when it comes to couches." He grinned. "How about you, Teresa?"

"You should've seen my place in Cannon River. The house I had there was pretty close to my dream home," she replied.

"Sorry, you had to leave that behind," Jane said with an apologetic expression. "Tell me about it."

She sighed. "It's okay, Patrick. My house was nice but the job was boring. And as you like to remind me off: there's nothing worse, right?"

He looked sheepish. "Well, being without you would be even worse."

"Nice save, Jane," she teased. "The place was rather roomy, and though it was a traditional house and wasn't loft style at all, the rooms were all basically connected by double wing doors, giving it an open character. And I had a fireplace with a very comfy sofa in front of it." After a moment of hesitation she added, "That's where I used to sit and read your letters. Again and again."

He set down his cup and took her hand in his, his thumb caressing the back of her hand. "I missed you too," he said quietly.

They both swallowed heavily. "Well, basically," he spoke up a moment later, "We both like open designs and fireplaces. Sounds like a good start."

"How many bedrooms?" she asked, eyeing him a bit warily, pulling her hand out of his gentle grip.

"Ah, I sense that this is a loaded question," he said.

She looked down. This was turning out to be about much more than looking for a place to build a home, she realized. This was also about what kind of home they wanted to build and what kind of future. Was this the right time to ask him about children? Or should they just look for a place and if it turned out to become too small at some point, they could find a new place? Was this too much, too soon? Would he be ready to have such a discussion with her three days into their relationship?

He'd been so open about Angela during the last days, willing to divulge personal information and dear memories, and sharing bits of his past with her. Was that a sign that he was ready to embrace a future that entailed children? She sensed a bit of panic growing inside of her. She wanted a family of her own. Not at once, because finding their feet in this relationship and just being together as a couple was something she really, really looked forward to and wanted to experience and enjoy. But they both weren't twenty anymore, so they couldn't wait too long either. And what if he said, he didn't want that? How would that make her feel? Or would he say yes just to please her while it caused him emotional pain?

Suddenly she felt him open her hand that had been balled into a nervous fist. He put something on the palm of it and closed her fingers around it, giving the fist a tender squeeze before he withdrew his own hand.

She opened her hand and found his wedding band inside of it. "I'm ready for this," he reassured her. "All of it. Talk to me, Teresa. What's eating at you?"

With total disbelieve she eyed the golden ring in her hand. "Jane?" she asked. "What does this mean?"

"What I said, Teresa. I thought that maybe my wedding band was giving you doubts about my ability to move on. And I want you to know that I'm ready to remove it, both literally and metaphorically. I wasn't solely wearing it for Angela anymore anyway. At some point in Venezuela it started to represented my commitment to you just as much. But if it's standing between us, I have no problem removing it."

She shook her hand. "It's not about your wedding band. It doesn't bother me but I appreciate the gesture, Patrick." She sighed and tried to give the ring back to him.

Now it was his turn to shake his head. "No, my love. I think, it's time to break old patterns and wearing this ring does represent the past. I want us to plan our future without you thinking that it has to be defined by my past. Of course it'll influence me in some respects. I'm not denying that, but I'm not willing to let it control my life anymore."

He looked her straight in the eyes. "I know that something connected to my past is preventing you from asking me something. I don't want that. Please, Teresa, be open about your fears. Talk to me, don't shut me out. You can discuss things with me. Of course some stuff might evoke painful memories. But such is life. I'm a big boy and incidentally I have a very dear friend around who'll comfort me."

Lisbon took a deep breath and decided that it was now or never. She didn't dare to look at him and played nervously with the golden ring in her hand. "I want to have a family, Patrick. Not at once but eventually. And I'm afraid you wouldn't want that."

* * *

"Ah," he said quietly. He paused for a moment then looked her straight in the eyes. "The thought of having children again is very scary, I admit that. But would it help if I told you that I strolled along the beaches in Venezuela fantasizing about children with emerald green eyes, freckles, and dark curls playing in the sand?" he asked tentatively.

A small smile was spreading on her face. "Mine have blond curls," she admitted. "And sea green eyes."

"Maybe we should leave that up to genetics," he replied with a grin, which she returned whole-heartedly. "Okay, so at least three bedrooms then?" he asked

Her smile grow even brighter. "At least?" She chuckled. "You do know that I'm not in my twenties, hell, not even in my thirties anymore, do you?"

"Could've fooled me. You don't look a day older than 25, my dear," he returned smoothly.

"You're such a sweet-talker, Jane." She rolled her eyes.

He cast a lovey-dovey look at her. "You do have a mirror, don't you, Lisbon? If it's telling you anything else then rest assured that a new one is the first thing we'll buy for our home."

She shook her head in mock despair. "Stop that, Jane."

"What?" he asked with some indignation. "It's the truth. There's no denying it: you, my dear, have been drinking from the fountain of youth on a regular basis. You hardly look any older than on the first day we met. And considering how stressful your life turned from that moment on – that's saying something."

Lisbon blushed. "Geez, Jane! This is embarrassing."

"How so?" he inquired merrily. "I'm merely stating facts. I wish, I could say the same about myself. But alas, I do look my age, I'm afraid. I almost feel like a lecherous old man when I'm out with you."

"Oh for heaven's sake, Jane, stop it!" She took a mouthful of her coffee in an attempt to disguise how truly uncomfortable she felt.

He still sensed it of course, perceptive as he was. "I apologize," he said seriously, looking sheepish. "I was just teasing you. Didn't mean to cause you any discomfort."

She sighed, relaxing visibly. "I don't know why it bothers me like this, at least coming from you. Maybe because I've so often had a difficult time with being taken seriously in my line of work. I have heard condescending things like 'little lady' or 'young missy' too many times to count." She took a deep breath. "It's hard enough as it is as a woman in law enforcement. That I obviously don't look my age and am not all that tall hasn't helped."

He looked her straight in the eyes. "I hope, you know that I didn't mean any disrespect, Teresa. I admire your strength and determination. And you're by far the best cop I know. You're tough, where it counts. Fair, open-minded, strong, sharp-witted, and compassionate. And only idiots wouldn't recognize the natural authority you possess. I have the utmost respect for you and your work." Then he winked and added, "That's why I want you as my partner: only the best for the best." A cheeky grin appeared on his face and she couldn't help but smile back.

"The best for the best, yeah, sure, Jane." She snorted.

"Hey, give me one example of a team better than ours, Lisbon," he challenged her, his face full of mirth, obviously happy that she wasn't miffed anymore.

She enjoyed seeing him like this. His glowing eyes full of love and his big, honest smile took years off his face. "If you put it like that," she conceded. "And by the way, you should take your own advice, Jane. Have you taken a real look at yourself recently? Being happy really suits you, makes you look younger," she said, blushing a bit because paying him open compliments about his looks still felt a bit alien.

To her great satisfaction he blushed a bit too. "Back to our initial topic," he said in an obvious attempt to change the subject. "Three bedrooms. And a fireplace. Maybe two bathrooms. Oh, and I'd prefer our place to be close to the river, maybe one of the lakes. How about Lady Bird Lake? I've read that the area is a very sought-after neighborhood. And it's downtown, giving us easy access to restaurants, bars, shops, and the like." With a sheepish grin he added, "And I seem to have a new affinity to birds anyway due to our wonderful stay at the Blue Bird Lodge. And I kind of like the irony of it, what with McAllister's ornithophobia. My new life surrounded by birds, especially you, my beautiful lady bird." He winked at her and chuckled.

But Lisbon focused on something else he'd just revealed. "Oh my god, I never made the connection. How stupid of me. Of course McAllister was scared of birds! That was the phobia Sophie Miller had diagnosed. He really didn't like the pigeons in that church tower, did he? And that's why you were feeding those pigeons when we met at the park. You were scheming. I should've realized that. But everything was so stressful and I was in a constant state of agitation. So what did you do?" she inquired, her curiosity reaching high levels.

They had never really talked about the day Jane had killed McAllister – when everybody including herself had still assumed that Red John was Gale Bertram. Only Jane had known otherwise but hadn't shared the knowledge with her. Or rather – as she had to admit now – he had given her strong hints back then. Hints she had been too hyped up to interpret correctly.

A smug expression took over Jane's face. Before he started his explanation, he waved to the waitress and asked for more tea. Only when he had a fresh cup in front of him did he start. "Oh, I just kept a pigeon in my pocket. That and sunflower seeds were the downfall of California's most notorious serial killer." He chuckled.

"Come on, Jane, some more details, please. What happened? How did you manage to smuggle a pigeon into a church?" an impatient Lisbon inquired.

"I knew that there'd be someone searching me for weapons. That's why I asked for your gun as a prop. Most people are too gullible to continue looking when they think, they've already found what they were looking for. That idiotic minion didn't check my pockets after he'd taken your gun from me. I had a live pigeon in my jacket pocket and that fool didn't realize it." Jane chuckled with remembered mirth.

"As I recall telling you," he continued, "pigeons are very docile creatures. The moment I had figured out that McAllister was my man, I knew that birds were that weak spot he'd revealed to Sophie. I counted on that to give me a tactical advantage at some point. Worked like a charm. He had a gun pointed at me, he was so sure of himself, taunting me when all I seemed to have to defend myself with was the handful of sunflower seeds I handed over to him. He thought he was invincible, the one in control. But the moment a pigeon was flapping its wings right in his face, he was a goner."

"He really let himself be duped with a handful of sunflower seeds?" Lisbon asked with astonishment.

"Yes, he did. That's what overconfidence and arrogance can lead to. I should know. Though in his case it was more like delusions of grandeur," Jane explained. "But enough of that. He's old news. Let's talk about our future again."

"Thanks for telling me," Lisbon said. "I appreciate it. I think… mhm, I think, I needed that as some kind of closure too, Patrick. I mean, we both chased after him for almost ten years and in a way I felt cheated out of the end of it. Just had to deal with the aftermath which was quite a mess."

He acknowledged her words with a nod. "And I'm really sorry about leaving you alone to deal with it. But I was really scared that if I didn't make a run for it, I wouldn't survive the night in a prison cell considering how deep the corruption went in the system. And I didn't know whether Abbott was clean or not. The only people I trusted were you and the team and you were in no position to help me." He swallowed heavily, his eyes full of sadness and shame. "I'm truly sorry, Teresa. I was ready to face the consequences, I always said so. But with the whole Blake Association thing I couldn't expect a fair trial. Hell, I couldn't even expect to make it to trial."

She took his hand and entwined their fingers, his wedding band wedged between their palms. "I understand, Patrick. I've come to terms with that. I'd like us to talk about that again at some point but let's stop it here. And please believe me when I say that I have forgiven you. I mean it. I don't want you to feel guilty anymore. This is a fresh start for both of us. I think, it's important for us to speak about a few things from our past. Clear up a few matters. But the last thing I want is for you to put a new burden of guilt and shame on your back. Okay?"

He brought their hands up to his lips and kissed the back of her hand. "Thank you, Teresa. I'm so glad that you have such a forgiving nature. I know, I don't deserve it but I'm eternally grateful for it."

Lisbon shook her head. "No, Jane. Stop that, please. I don't want to hear you talking about yourself that way. You are a good man and you deserve happiness and love. I don't deny that you've done some pretty doubtful things in your life but you've also done a lot of good. You've punished yourself enough over the years. Now it's time that you forgive yourself once and for all."

"I'm working on it," he replied sheepishly. "Sometimes I can see that man you seem to see. Sometimes not. But you loving me helps me to believe that I can be a man deserving of you."

She smiled warmly at him. "Sounds like a promising start." She released his hand which made his wedding ring fall down on the table between them with a metallic clang. "What do you want me to do with it?" she asked, both their eyes directed towards the golden band.

"I don't know. Keep it safe. Take it as a promise from me to you. I'll always be there for you, always love you." He raised his head and looked at her. "I have no idea what exactly you could do with it. I didn't think that far ahead. It just felt right to remove it and give it to you," he replied.

She touched the ring gently, took hold of it with reverence and examined it carefully. She'd only ever seen it on his finger after all but never that close up. It showed some signs of wear and tear. She could see that there was an inscription on the inside, a relatively long one even, certainly not just a name and a date. "What does it say?" she asked tentatively.

"Our love is coming full circle," Jane said, a slightly wistful look on his face.

"That's beautiful, Patrick. Truly beautiful. I didn't know Angela and what she was like, but that sounds like something you would come up with, right?" Lisbon asked, still mindful of his reaction.

But she wanted to know and she also hoped that talking about things like that would help him dealing with his grief. Because he was still grieving, she had no doubt about that. He'd probably never allowed himself to do so before Red John was out of the way. He had come a very long way already, but she knew from her own experience with loss that it would never go away for good. There'd always be small things, a smell, a song, whatever, that could bring back the memories and practically out of nowhere you'd get that moment of feeling the pain of loss.

She was amazed at how open he'd been these past days and how he'd been able to share so many happy memories with her. But she knew that certain issues would be harder for him to divulge. Lisbon didn't mind that. Loving Patrick Jane would always mean to accept that he had a traumatic past. She was aware of that. And especially after what he'd told her that morning about how he was loving Angela and Charlotte and about loving her she felt a deep and complete sense of security in his love for her. With a last look at Jane to confirm that he was truly alright with it, she put the ring in her purse and decided that she would keep it together with her mother's wedding band in her jewel case for the time being.

"Yeah, it was my idea," Jane admitted after a moment of contemplation, his eyes following her actions. With a small smile he went on, "Angela liked it too but the jeweler wasn't impressed at all. He hardly managed to make the whole thing fit on my ring, let alone Angela's. Cursed me for five minutes straight when I told him, I knew carnie people who could fit a whole Shakespeare sonnet on a simple grain of rice, so a little phrase like that on a ring shouldn't pose a problem."

Lisbon could help it, she laughed out loud. "Only you, Jane. Only you!" she pressed out between giggles. He joined her and both had a good laugh, making the whole diner casting them strange looks. Lisbon blushed a deep red when she realized that they were at the center of attention. Jane however pretended to salute with an invisible head and bowed a little – which turned out to be a very effective way of making everybody looking away at once.

"Let's pay and leave," he said. "And go, buy those sneakers. I'm fed up with using these crutches."

"Patrick Jane volunteering to buy new shoes. I've seen it all now," she teased.

He snorted. "I wouldn't exactly call it volunteering, my dear. Forces beyond my control are at work here. I suspect a conspiracy within the US orthopedic industry."

She snickered. "Maybe they simply made some advancements during the last five decades or so. I'm sure, if that splint they gave you was 30 years old, it would work fine with your shoes."

"Touché," he conceded, beaming at her.

* * *

They paid and left to find a shoe store. The island didn't offer much in that respect but finally they found a small one in a side street. Lisbon didn't look too impressed with the frumpish exterior of the place while Jane's face lit up after his first glance into the shop window. "Look, Lisbon, look! They have real quality shoes, not that cheap, flashy stuff!" he exclaimed with new-found enthusiasm while Lisbon's face fell even more.

"You're not that old yet, Jane. This looks more like a shop for senior citizens," she complained.

"Oh, come on, Lisbon. I'm sure, they have a variety of styles. And small shops often have much more competent staff. Let's take a look around first before you judge," he coaxed.

"I'm fearing the worst," she murmured with a resigned expression but followed him inside anyway. What choice did they really have after all? The department store where she'd gotten the rest of his new clothes just offered canvas shoes and such and Jane needed something a bit more solid for his injured ankle.

To her surprise the shop owner, a man in his fifties wearing of all things a three-piece-suit, turned out to be of real help and seemed to be a real expert in his field. First he admired Jane's stalwart brown shoes and offered to give them a thorough overhaul that would make them look as good as new. Jane accepted the offer gratefully after the shoemaker had promised him that he'd have them ready by the time Jane and Lisbon had to leave.

Then the man had taken a good look at the splint, then at Jane, and finally at Lisbon, had disappeared in the back of his shop and had come back with three different pairs of black shoes, all of which both Lisbon and Jane actually liked.

They weren't exactly trendy or particularly stylish, but they clearly possessed true style instead. Lisbon had to admit that Jane in colorful sneakers wouldn't have worked. He was an old-fashioned guy and she liked that about him. Seeing him gleefully casting her an 'I-told-you-so'-look while trying on the pair he clearly liked best, made her roll her eyes, but she didn't really begrudge him his moment of smugness.

It was a first try, instant fit. The splint caused no problems either and the shop keeper could even offer Jane a pair of black socks appropriate to the shoes. Jane took a few tentative steps and announced that he hardly felt any pain from his ankle. His beaming, happy smile was so infectious that even the cobbler had a hard time staying entirely professional.

Lisbon winced when she heard the price of the shoes but Jane wasn't even batting an eye which made her wonder how much his other pair might have cost.

* * *

They left the shoe store in high spirits, deciding to go back to the hotel, drop off the crutches, and get their gear for a few hours at the beach. Lisbon took along her laptop so they could organize their journey back to Austin and maybe even look at some real estate online.

After their rather substantial breakfast they just bought some fruits for lunch and had an ice cream later on. A few hours later they'd accomplished quite a lot: they had booked flights back to Austin and had sent requests for viewings of two townhouses and one apartment they had both liked.

Some cuddling had also taken place – though only in a very tame version suitable for a public place like the beach. Some kids had remembered their 'playmate' from the day before and because he obviously couldn't resist their pleading eyes, Jane had no choice but to build another sand sculpture – he decided on a smaller project. To Lisbon's great amusement he created a beautiful mermaid this time, though she'd truly been shocked when she'd realized, she could actually recognize her own facial features on it. That man could've been a real sculptor if he'd wanted to, she'd thought.

They'd also taken a swim in the course of which Lisbon had learned that the nickname Angela had given her husband was really fitting: Jane was a brilliant swimmer and moved in the water like he was born to do so. And even though a pool wasn't the same as the ocean, they decided that regular visits to one would be something they could share as an off-duty activity back in Austin. Furthermore, one of the houses and the apartment complex they would take a look at had pools – a real bonus.

* * *

After being outside and in public for most of the day they decided they wanted to spend the evening just the two of them alone. They bought some fresh French bread in a small bakery as well as an assortment of cheeses, seafood salads, and antipasti and a bottle of red wine for dinner in a gourmet food store which they shared on the balcony that belonged to their room.

They were lounging together in the porch swing when they had finished eating, Lisbon with her back against Jane's chest. Each with a glass of wine in hand they savored their time alone together in paradise. He nuzzled her neck with his nose, peppering her with light kisses while she caressed his thigh absent-mindedly.

"I hope, that house with the pool is as nice in reality as it is in the pictures we saw on the net," Jane said. "That place looked perfect. Three bedrooms, a small garden with a terrace and a pool, two bathrooms, even a fireplace, and we would have a splendid view of Lady Bird Lake from the second floor."

Lisbon nodded. "Yes, it looked really promising, if a bit on the expensive side."

"Don't worry about money, Teresa. One of the benefits of being part of that whole Grand Jury sting operation was that I was able to make a deal with the Attorney General to unfreeze my assets. I didn't get back all of it but most and I'm in the process of selling my beach property in Malibu. And believe me – we can buy five houses in Austin for the amount I expect to get for it considering the offers I've gotten so far," Jane explained.

She let that sink in for a moment and decided to shove aside the matter of him actually selling his old family home for the time being, though it was astonishing news. But she was more worried about something else. "I'm not sure, I'd want that," she finally replied. "I want us to share the costs and I can't afford that much."

"Come on, honey, don't be stubborn about that. I understand your position and your need to be independent. But when we're married, all of my possessions will be yours too anyway. Why not buy the house we both like and want to build our home in right away?" he said.

She turned her head to face him and frowned. "Is that a proposal?" she asked warily.

"What?" he asked in utter astonishment. "Are you kidding me? That was most certainly not a proposal, just stating my intentions. I thought that after our earlier talk about children this goes without saying. But believe me, Teresa, you'll know it when I truly propose. There'll be a nice ring and some romance involved. I'm that old-fashioned."

"Oh, okay," she said, still visibly tense. After the way Marcus had steamrolled her with the question, this subject had become a bit of a sour spot – especially so considering that she'd actually accepted his proposal in a fit of anger and hurt, like an act of defiance. Which made her suddenly realize that she hadn't told Jane about that whole mess. Should she tell him at all or would it be better to cover this with a cloak of silence?

"What's the matter, Teresa?" he asked. "Something's obviously bothering you. Did I say something wrong? I mean, if you don't want to get married, I would understand. I don't need any official affirmation of my love for you. I'd prefer it, yes. But if it isn't something you want, that's okay, really." He looked down, his expression one full of shame. "I did it again, didn't I? I… I just assumed that you'd want that too. I'm so sorry, I'm overstepping the boundaries again. Didn't mean to be presumptuous."

"No!" she protested. "No, Patrick. You didn't do anything wrong. This is about me. I… I don't know how to tell you," she admitted.

She set down her glass and took his from him too, so she could turn around in his arms and face him. "I guess, there's no easy way to say this," she started. "After I'd found out about your scheme three days ago I was so, so angry and hurt and desperate and I did something, I regret very much." She took a deep breath and buried her face against Jane's chest. He put his arms around her. "On the way to the airport I called Marcus and accepted his proposal from two weeks ago," she said quietly.

Jane's hold on her grew almost painfully hard. "I regretted it the second I'd done it. I did it for all the wrong reasons, just like he'd proposed for all the wrong reasons. I broke it off again just a few hours later. Before I came to you in that interrogation room at the airport."

Her declaration was met by silence and she didn't dare to look into Jane's face. He still held her pressed tightly against his chest. Only when she felt her hair getting wet did she realize that he was crying. She raised her head and was confronted with pure devastation in his eyes which were spilling over with silent tears.

"You wanted to marry him? Did you really… do you… You do love him after all, don't you?" he whispered brokenly.

She shook her head vehemently. "No, Jane. No. As I said, I accepted for all the wrong reasons. Love never played into it. Please believe me. I was… I am fond of him, yes. And he's a good man. But I've only ever been in love with you, Patrick. I said yes to his proposal to prove to myself that I could have a good life without you. And I did it to hurt you," she admitted bashfully.

"The moment I'd said yes, I felt like ten tons of lead had taken residence inside of me. It felt horrible. I felt trapped and hopeless. And Marcus didn't even realize that I was crying. He just reacted as if his favorite team had won the finals. It felt all so wrong and weird and I felt like I'd just sold my soul," she admitted, now also shedding tears.

"And his proposal had been awful too. You were actually there just a few feet away. It was the least romantic location. In the FBI bullpen. Right after I'd told him, I'd accept the job in DC. And he just went like, 'What the hell, will you marry me?' and I was so shocked. It's not that I need all that mushy romance stuff but it felt forced and the emotions behind it were all wrong and it was much too soon and I didn't even tell him off for it. And I don't know what was wrong with me. Why I didn't kick his ass for pressuring me like that. I've told **you** off for less!"

She felt like a dam had been broken and couldn't stop herself from getting it all off her chest. "He said, he wouldn't pressure me and then he did the opposite and I didn't even realize. Or didn't want to see it. I just let him lead me wherever he wanted me. I mean, he even went behind my back and got me a job in DC before I'd even decided whether I wanted to go with him. And then I sat there in Abbott's office and Dennis, Don, and Marcus were more or less ganging up on me to take that job. And all I did was nod and say, I'd think about it. And then Marcus had the audacity to tell me, he'd gone out on a limb for me to get that job offer and that I basically had no choice but to accept it or he would look bad. And all the while he kept telling me that he wouldn't pressure me and to take my time."

She had to take a breath, winded after her long confession. But she wasn't finished. "He manipulated me with all that damn honesty and straight forwardness and I didn't even see it. I accused you of controlling my life and then I let another man do it and just took it like some mindless idiot. What's wrong with me? That's not me. I don't understand this. I don't understand what happened during the last weeks. And I'm sorry, I hurt you, Patrick. I'm sorry, I made it look like this whole mess was all your fault when I have behaved like the worst coward myself." She was openly crying now. "I almost destroyed both our lives and Marcus's too," she whispered.

* * *

Jane just pulled her into his arms again and started to massage her scalp in a calming way, easing away the first signs of an oncoming headache. "We'll sort it all out," he murmured like a mantra. "It's gonna be okay, baby. Just get it off your chest. I know how liberating that feels. It's gonna be okay. We're gonna be okay. I love you. I love you so much."

She cried into his chest, "And I want to marry you, Patrick. I want that with you. Always wanted that with you. Love you."

"Sh, it's alright, baby," he said, then got up with her in his arms and carried her inside, ignoring the slight pain it caused in his ankle. He placed her tenderly on the bed and lay down on his side beside her and started to kiss away her tears with feather light touches of his lips.

She took hold of his face between her hands, their eyes exchanging a meaningful, healing look. Then she pulled his mouth down onto hers. They kissed. First gently but with growing hunger, until they were devouring each other. "I want to make love to you," he said quietly, breaking their kiss. "May I?"

"Oh yes," she replied joyfully with a relieved smile on her lips. This was exactly what she needed. To feel him, them.

They kissed while undressing each other, touching every inch of new exposed skin. One of his hands played expertly with her breasts while the other wandered down between their bodies. He opened her folds, feeling her wetness. Both moaned. "No more waiting," she whispered. "I want you so much. I'm ready."

He nodded, positioned himself on top of her and entered her with one determined, deep thrust. They cried out in perfect sync. He didn't move at first, both just savoring the depth of their connection for the time being. Then he started moving, strong but tender thrusts, slow and easy. They both felt their arousal heightening at a steady pace. She reached a first peak when his fingers added to her stimulation, coming apart around him, making him feel her pleasure surrounding him inside of her body.

He almost followed her over the edge but stopped himself, not ready for their union to end. He built her arousal up again with precise, purposefully aimed thrusts, having learned her body enough already to know how. When she was whimpering with her renewed need to come, he let go of his control, his strokes taking on a more and more erratic, faster pace until he came apart with a cry of her name on his lips, feeling her milking him with the contractions caused by her own release.

* * *

After he'd gotten his breath back under control, he got up, went outside, and fetched their wine glasses and the still half full bottle. He sat down on the bed with his back against the head board and motioned for her to come sit between his outstretched legs with her back against his chest. When they were comfortable, they started sipping their wine, their free hands tightly entwined. He kissed the top of her head. "How are you feeling?" he asked carefully.

"Relieved," she replied quietly. "You?"

"I'm not sure," he answered truthfully. "Mentally exhausted, I guess. But in a good way. And I feel relieved too. I think, this was a big step for us."

"Yeah," she said. "We're okay, right?"

He kissed her hair again, "Yes, Teresa. Of course we are okay. I love you. And I'm kind of glad that I'm not the only one with regrets. Sometimes I feel like I'm the one with the exclusive rights to screwing things up," he admitted. "And I know that most of the time I am," he added.

"That's not true, Jane. I can see how much effort you've put into becoming my partner over the years. I know how hard you've fought for that. And I'm really proud of you." She paused, shook her head and added sheepishly, "Sorry, that sounded very patronizing. I didn't mean it that way. I just want you to know that I see and appreciate how many changes you've made. That's something you should be proud of. That's the most important thing. That you start to see that in yourself. You are very hard on yourself sometimes. Too hard."

"Thank you," he replied, voice gruff with emotion. "You've helped me getting there. Very much so. You've made me want to become a man worthy of being your partner. I'm truly grateful for it."

"You are worthy of being my partner, Patrick. The best for the best, remember?" she stated emphatically.

He chuckled. "I love it when you use my own words against me," he said. "Because what the hell could I possibly say against the words of a genius?"

She snorted. On a slightly more serious note she added, "You know, I'm really glad that some things between us haven't changed now that we're… well, a couple. I like our banter so much. The easy way between us. I'm glad we still have that. Even better: we're having it **again**. I've missed it so much during the last months when things were so awkward between us most of the time. Those moments when things were good – that's what kept me going. Like when we did the magic show together in that posh resort."

"I know what you mean. Only problem was that those happy moments also made me keep up my illusion that things would always stay the same, comfortable way between us. As if you weren't dating another man. I convinced myself, you would never leave me. That I didn't need to get out of my comfort zone," he confessed.

"Let's not dwell on that anymore," she suggested. "We've covered more than enough tough topics today. Now we have a beautiful future ahead of us. We'll buy the perfect townhouse, build a home, and be nauseatingly happy with each other. So much so that our friends will be disgusted with all the syrupy happiness we'll exude. Especially Cho."

They both giggled.

* * *

The rest of the evening they spent finishing the wine and cuddling, not many words were exchanged, both really exhausted. Right before they fell asleep in each other's arms around midnight Jane whispered in her ear, "I think, we've become pretty good at this whole communicating business, Lisbon."

"Yeah," she replied, the word turning into a yawn. "But could you please stop communicating now, Jane? I'm tired."

He bit her earlobe lightly and said, "Tsk, and that from the woman who can't stop talking in her sleep..."

"Shut up, Jane," she mumbled.

"Ay, ma'am. Good night, Teresa. Love you."

* * *

**TBC**

**I truly appreciate feedback, so feel free to leave a little something for me.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: They're still not back to Austin in this one... but this is the last chapter before their return, I promise. Thank you for all the nice feedback and the encouragement to continue at this rather slow pace. I have decided to let things develop at the pace that the Lisbon and the Jane of my story set for me while I'm writing. I'm glad, people seem to like/enjoy that too...**

* * *

**This Is Not A Drill - Six**

Lisbon woke up at seven and felt immediately that she wouldn't manage to get back to sleep again. Her eyes fell on the man sleeping soundly by her side or rather wrapped around her and her heart swelled with love for him. He looked at peace, truly at peace. The worry lines on his face had lessened considerably and a relaxed smile played around his lips. He seemed to be in the middle of a nice dream.

She watched him a while longer but became restless after a time. She decided, she'd go for a run on the beach before breakfast. Carefully she disentangled herself from her personal octopus, mindful not to wake him. He furrowed his brow and released a disgruntled little sniff, obviously not happy about losing his 'teddy bear'. She giggled but put her hand in front of her mouth to stifle it, scolding herself mentally for almost waking him up. But he was just too cute for his own good. She placed her pillow into his arms as a kind of surrogate for her presence. Instantly she had to fight down another giggle when he sniffed it and his subconscious mind obviously decided that it felt warm and cuddly and smelled like her so it had to be her which made his features relax at once.

As quietly as possible she found some sweatpants and a tank top in her bag, went inside the bathroom to change, took her shoes in hand and tiptoed to the door on naked feet. At the last moment she remembered their first night together and Jane's utter sadness at the thought that she might have left him when he had woken up alone. She went over to the little desk in the corner of the room, found some hotel stationery and wrote a quick note to place beside her partner on the bed.

'My dear Patrick,

I just went out for a run along the beach. Woke up early and didn't want to disturb you. Will be back soon.

Love you,

Teresa (U No Hoo)'

* * *

She enjoyed her run on the almost deserted beach. It felt great to have this time for herself to clear her head. The last days had been intense to say the least. And though she had relished the time alone with Jane, with all the heavy subjects they'd discussed she savored to have a few moments to herself. With astonishment she recapped in her head that she'd gone from moving to DC with one man, actually accepting a proposal from him, to looking for a place to live together with another man in Austin in the course of three days. That the latter was what she truly wanted made the impact if this realization less frightening. But it was still a lot to take in.

With every step she took she felt like some of the tension she hadn't even really been aware of left her body. After an hour and on her way back she felt truly free and happy at the thought of returning to the man she loved with all of her heart.

There was however one last big issue she resolved herself to broach at some point while they were still on Islamorada and on their own. A topic that had been preying on her mind for a while already but which she'd been too much of a coward to face. Maybe the very one that had ultimately led to her stupid decision to accept that new job and move to DC.

Metaphorically speaking she knew she had been running away from Jane – now she was running back to him in every way possible.

* * *

Jane was awake when she returned but he was still lounging in bed, curls all over the place, eyes a bit sleepy, but greeting her with his most sunny smile, waving the little note she'd left with him enthusiastically. "You wrote me a letter," he announced happily, voice a bit raspy after hours of inactivity. It sounded dead sexy in Lisbon's opinion.

All in all his whole just-woken-up look was extremely alluring. That he was naked underneath the very thin sheet covering him only from the low waist down added to that. "Take a shower with me, Jane," she ordered with an almost predatory glint in her eyes.

"Wow, the run not enough exercise for you, agent Lisbon?" he teased.

"Shut up and get your cute, lazy ass out of that bed and into the shower, Jane," she demanded.

He raised his brows but sat up, making it clearly visible to her hungry eyes just how very much 'up' he was for her plans. "You're quite bossy this fine morning, my dear. But as your wishes coincide with me needs, I'm not gonna argue. And I do like it when you get all authoritarian on me," he replied in a seductive voice.

She preceded him into the bathroom, shedding her sweaty running gear as she went. Jane followed her, careful not to put too much weight on his injured ankle. "I'm not sure, I'll be able to stand up for very long on one foot in the shower, Lisbon. May I suggest a bath instead?"

"As long as it's wet and you're there, I don't care," she said, voice thick with need.

"Oh, I do hope it's wet," Jane whispered huskily into her ear from right behind her, while putting his arms around her waist, one hand wandering down between her legs.

She moaned when he buried two of his fingers between her folds. "Ah, yes. That's what I call wet," he said quietly, licking her earlobe, then nibbling on it. "You're almost there already, aren't you, Teresa? I'm gonna make you come now, and then we'll get even wetter together in the tub and I'll make you come again."

She could only whimper in answer, ready to explode with no real idea how she'd gotten to that point so fast. Usually it took a lot longer and a lot more for her to be that aroused. Just the sight of her sleep tousled, naked, aroused lover with his husky voice had been enough to get her close to the edge. This was definitely her mate and his touch was magic. Which he proved nicely with the next few determined actions of his fingers. She shouted out her release, his chest against which she was leaning the only thing holding her up.

His beautiful, strong, graceful hands caressing her stomach anchored her while coming down, as did the nose nuzzling her neck. "I love it when you come," he whispered. "It's the most wonderful thing, especially to know that I am the one giving you so much pleasure. And that you trust me like this with yourself."

"I do trust you, Patrick. Trust you with my life," she murmured.

He pulled her tightly against his chest. "I'll try to cherish that trust to the best of my abilities."

"I know, you will," she replied, her voice regaining some strength. "Come on, I really need that bath now. I was smelly already before… this…"

He shook his head, sniffing at her with appreciation. "No. You aren't smelly, my dear. You're exuding the delicious essence of Lisbon."

"Essence of Lisbon? Seriously? You've got it bad, haven't you, Jane?" she teased, motioning for him to let go of her, so she could start their bath.

"Yep. Your smell is intoxicating. Especially when you're aroused. The cinnamon touch gets more pronounced. Very spicy and hot. Add the remnant of your vanilla body lotion and you have one fine fragrance," he explained earnestly.

She snorted. "You're such an idiot," she said warmly. "And just so you know: I think, your excessive consumption of Earl Grey tea makes you taste like bergamot."

He limped over to the toilet seat and sat down on it to disburden his ankle while waiting for the tub to fill. "Well, surely there are worse fates than your boyfriend tasting like Earl Grey?" he asked with a wink.

"Maybe. Can't think of one though," she teased while adding bath foam to the water. "I'd prefer you to taste like coffee."

He wrinkled his nose. "Not a chance, my dear, not a chance. You'll have to get used to tea."

She sighed dramatically and rolled her eyes. "The horror! I'm just glad, it's only on you and not in general. I need my coffee to survive dealing with you."

He chuckled. "So essentially you need coffee in order to enjoy tea à la Jane. Sounds like a mighty fine compromise."

"I find it utterly unfair that I'm tasting like things you truly like and not like coffee though. You would get a taste of your own medicine in that case," she replied with a pout, eliciting a loud laugh from him.

"You, my dear, are just such a wonderful, perfect being that your body can't help but turn everything disagreeable into pure vanilla and cinnamon," he stated merrily.

"Well, I'm just glad that your body turns all your bullshit into Early Grey at least," she mocked him.

He laughed heartily, a sound she couldn't get enough of. "Touché, Lisbon. Touché."

"Water's ready," she announced with a big grin. "Come over here, old man, so I can help you into the tub."

* * *

They ended up in the warm, delicious water, Jane on his back, Lisbon sprawled on top of him. They shared hungry kisses, touched and stroked their wet bodies as much as the limited space and the slippery circumstances allowed them to. Her hand snuck down between them and she took hold of his hard penis. First he groaned when she moved her hand up and down, lazily and slowly, but after a while his groans turned into helpless pants until he finally begged her to do something unintelligible which she decided to take as her cue to put his rock hard erection where she most wanted it.

It was a bit difficult to navigate in the slippery tub, but she managed to heave herself up and then down again, impaling herself on his penis with an appreciative sigh. It always felt like coming home to be connected with him like this. One of his hands took a strong, demanding hold of her hip, the other busied itself fondling her breasts. They were both so far gone already that they came one right after the other after a short, wild ride.

They were both breathless and boneless for several minutes but the cooling water revived them. They cleaned each other just like they'd done the first time they'd shared this tub about three days previously. It felt different, she noticed. Though it hadn't been awkward that first time, they had been distinctively less familiar and comfortable with each other than they were now. They had been in awe at the mere thought of being able to touch the other, full of longing to just take in the sight of each other. Now they were curious and eager to explore and find new little somethings yet undiscovered on the other's body.

But Lisbon did put a stop to Jane's project of counting her freckles right after he'd announced his plan. "The water's getting really chilly and I'm hungry. And no. Not like that," she scolded him lightly. "If you think, I'm going to sit here freezing until you've cataloged my whole body and committed it to that crazy carnival circuit of yours inside your head, you're thinking wrong, Mister."

"Mapped, my dear. In this case mapped would be the correct term," he corrected her merrily.

"Meh, semantics," she teased him right back with a smug grin.

He pecked her on the nose. "You, Miss Lisbon, are a petty thief, stealing my phrases."

She removed herself from his light embrace and started to get out of the tub, mindful of all the water that had been spilled during their passionate encounter. The floor was very wet and she ordered Jane, who was about to follow her out, to stay where he was until she'd dried it off. "Can't risk you breaking your neck in addition to your injured ankle. You're still unsteady on your feet," she explained.

"Be very careful, baby. Your neck happens to be quite precious to me," he said while looking over the rim of the tub with a skeptical expression.

* * *

Fortunately they both made it out of the bathroom without any mishaps. They decided to order breakfast to eat outside on their balcony in the wonderful sunshine and to make their plans for the day in the course of it.

They retook the position they'd been in the night before, both sharing the porch swing, Lisbon with her back resting against Jane's chest. Jane fed Lisbon fruits, pancakes, and whatever else she asked for, he devoured yet another big portion of eggs to the great amusement of his partner.

After they'd finished eating and were on their second serving of coffee and tea respectively, Lisbon said tentatively, "There's something, I want to… no, I need to talk with you about, Jane. But I don't really know how."

"Hm." He took a sip from his cup. "Sounds ominous, Teresa. Is there something I could do to help? Make it easier somehow?"

She shook her head. "It's about us being partners. At work, I mean."

"What about it, Lisbon?" he asked with a raised brow.

"It's hard to explain. It's about us sharing things with each other," she started to clarify.

He took hold of her free hand and entwined their fingers. "I promise, I'll try my best to include you as much as possible. I know, I'm not always forthcoming and that I slip up at times, but I'm really trying, Teresa."

"That's not what this is about, Jane," she replied.

"You have to get more concrete then because I'm not sure what you're trying to tell me," he stated.

A look at his face told Lisbon that he was truly stumped. Seemed like she had to explain herself properly, though for once she'd kind of hoped he'd figure it out on his own. "It's about how we'll work together in the future. I don't know how our partnership is supposed to work now that I'm not your boss anymore. This is all so new and we haven't managed to find a good balance yet. And I know that that's mostly my fault. I'm asking you for things I don't know how to deal with and it's confusing and I don't know how we can fix it. It's difficult. And I'm not making sense at all, do I? Damn it, I don't know how to explain." She paused, expression one of deep frustration.

"May I venture a guess?" Jane inquired. When she nodded, he went on, "Is this maybe a case of 'Be careful what you wish for – you might just get it'?"

She nodded again, encouraging him to continue, "This is about what we did to catch that girl and organ smuggler, isn't it? About having to lie to Abbott. About crossing some lines to get that confession."

"Sometimes I'm not sure if you aren't a mind reader after all," she murmured.

"I just know you very well, my dear. So, would you mind telling me what this means for our partnership? I'd truly like to know your feelings on the matter." He tightened his hold on her.

She sighed. "It's complicated. It was just… that case, it made me realize that maybe… maybe I'm not cut out to be that kind of partner for you," she said very quickly, anxious of how he'd react.

"I know," was his only reply.

"What do you mean, you know?" she asked curiously. That was not at all the reaction she'd expected from him.

He emptied his teacup with one last big gulp and set it down afterwards. His now free hand started to caress her arm, stroking up and down in a calming manner. "I don't want to sound patronizing, Lisbon, but that's why I did my best to give you deniability as much as possible over the years, especially when I knew, I'd have to cross your ethical lines to get a result. I'm ruthless. I care more about my sense of justice than the law. That's not who **you** are, Teresa."

He nuzzled her neck, then went on, "Don't get me wrong. I know that at the end of the day all you want is for the bad guys to end up behind bars, but it's easier for you to deal with my methods when you're only faced with the outcome – not with the actual process of getting there. I know you were uncomfortable with what we did to Ridley. But I tried to accommodate you, you know. After the whole matter with the grand jury sting… You'd been so angry because I'd left you out."

Jane sighed and with a sad voice he added, "I felt like being between a rock and a hard place. After our lovely time at _Il Tavolo Bianco_ I didn't want to risk offending you again. We were on shaky ground already and my attempt to mend fences between us a bit more kind of ended in disaster when Pike opened your door that night." He sighed again. "I didn't know how to act around you anymore. You wanted to be included in my schemes and I was afraid, you'd turn your back on me for good if I didn't. But I knew that my plan was pushing your boundaries. I hoped, however, that you'd at least recognize that I was making a real effort to accommodate you and your wishes. Guess that backfired too…"

She squeezed his hand which was still entwined with hers. "I know, Patrick. I asked too much of you. The clincher was lying to Abbott. How easy it was. All too easy. I felt bad about how easy it had been. And what that said about me as a cop. I'm not trying to judge you. It's just – I have sworn to uphold the law. That means something to me. I… I know, it's pretty hypocritical of me, but somehow as long as I'm not directly involved, I'm kind of okay with most of your actions. Though that was pretty close to crossing the line for good. I mean, we were practically torturing that guy." She took a deep breath.

"I was confronted with my own limits and instead of facing the dilemma, I just ran. I… It was right after I'd left Abbott's office that night that I decided to accept the job in DC. I was too much of a coward to face the fact that the moment you allowed me to be the partner I'd always pressured you to let me be, I got second thoughts. I'm sorry." A lone tear ran down her cheek.

He pressed a sweet kiss to her neck. "Don't apologize for being who you are. I'm glad to have you as my guiding light, Teresa. You are my moral compass. I always consider how you'd react to one of my schemes and that's how I know how far I can go." She raised her brows, astonished by his last statement. He nodded. "Yes, Teresa, it's the truth. It's not so much about what I know you'd want to be part of but what I know you could live with when you hear about it afterwards. That's where I draw the line."

He paused for a moment. "What we're both to blame for, however, is our complete inability to communicate with each other ever since I came back, or… well… I guess, we've always had certain problems on that account. But before it was kind of justified because of the whole Red John thing. After… well, I don't know. I presume it was a combination of many factors that got in the way."

"But we're doing pretty well on that account now, don't we?" she asked.

"Yes, we have made quite some headway in that respect during the last days. But back to the issue at hand: what does all this mean for us as partners, Teresa? Would you prefer it if we went our separate ways at work from now on?" he inquired warily.

She shook her head vehemently. "No! No, Jane. Never. I want to work with you. I really do. You are my partner and I want that. We just… we have to find a new balance somehow."

"How are we gonna do that? What do you suggest?" He nuzzled her neck again.

She hesitated, blushed a bit and finally said quietly, "Maybe you could… I mean, you seem to have a pretty good idea about where my limits are. Probably better than I do myself. Maybe…" She stopped, not really comfortable with the course of the conversation.

"Oh no, Lisbon. No way. I'm not taking on that responsibility. This is exactly what got us into this mess in the first place. And you'll only resent me the moment you realize that I'm keeping something from you again. No. Sorry, but that's not how it's gonna work," he stated emphatically with a nuance of anger in his voice. "And you're trying to take the easy way out here, placing all the difficult decisions on my shoulders. Forget it. Not gonna happen, Teresa."

Lisbon blushed an even deeper shade of red. Mainly because she felt ashamed of herself. Because he was right. She was still reluctant to face the situation head-on. And she didn't like Jane to be right about things like that. It made her feel caught somehow. It also made her realize that she obviously had a deep need to always occupy the moral high ground when it came to her partner. Which clearly she didn't really do. Was she really so self-righteous?

If she was honest with herself she had to admit that yes, she was. This was also at the bottom of the problems that had made the last weeks such an ordeal for the both of them. She had expected Jane to declare himself to her in a very specific way, one she didn't communicate. All the while she'd made it harder and harder for him to approach her at all.

And how often had she demanded of him to follow orders and when he had actually done so during that grand jury sting – and it had been orders from high-up to boot – she'd given him hell for it. She'd actually been really nasty to him, come to think of it. And he'd been the one to take the blame for it anyway and had apologized for it.

Then she'd expected him to treat her as his equal. He'd taken her demand to heart especially so after their recent grand jury crisis and had tried his best to include her. And what had she done? The moment she'd been confronted with the reality of being his partner in crime – literally – she'd reproached him for her moral dilemma, even if it had only been subconsciously, and had decided to run away from him and their partnership. Again she'd instinctively occupied the moral high ground and resolved the problem by mechanically blaming him for making her lie.

The poor guy had really stood no chance, she realized. Between a rock and a hard place indeed. No matter what he did, it could only ever be wrong. And she'd punished him for it too. By making herself unavailable, by not sharing her decision about moving to DC with him, by creating situations in which it was impossible for him to talk openly with her, yet she'd expected him to do so anyway and had resented him for not doing so afterwards. Yes, even by flaunting her relationship with Marcus in his face.

Had she been trying to sabotage her relationship with Jane because she was so afraid, he might not feel the same way about her that she felt about him? Or had she been afraid that he actually did and how that would change everything between them?

Had she actually been exactly the same kind of coward she'd accused him of being for not opening up to her? Or had she maybe done it to hurt him? Out of spite, to pay him back for some of the heartache he'd caused her over the years? Had she really been on the verge of sacrificing her one real chance at happiness because of this? Had she been willing to keep on lying to herself, Marcus, and Jane just because she didn't have the guts to confront their issues and sit down and have a serious talk with her best friend? What had stopped her from broaching the issue of her feelings for him? She had been about to leave him anyway. Had she simply been too proud?

And just now she'd actually had the audacity to ask Jane to take responsibility for her moral decisions, just so she could easily make him the scapegoat again if things didn't work out as she wished them to. Wow. She felt a deep sense of shame.

* * *

Jane nipping her neck with his teeth in a slightly painful way interrupted her deep contemplation and self-flagellation. "Whatever guilt-trip you're currently on – stop it, Teresa," he said gently. "It's not gonna get you anywhere."

"But I… I really need to get some things straight in my head, Jane," she replied haltingly.

He kissed the place he'd just nipped. "And that's quite alright. But those last minutes you were only busy blaming yourself, not doing anything constructive. Confronting some truths is fine, even necessary. Becoming aware of things about yourself helps you to find new ways of dealing with certain situations in the future."

He started to caress her arm again, stroking up and down from the shoulder to her hand in a way she found utterly comforting. "But," he continued, "chastising yourself for things you can't change anymore is useless. And that's what you did just now. Believe me, my love, I know it when I see it. And I've been there and done that. Still do, as a matter of fact. But I'm working on stopping it. And I really don't want you to start going down that road just when I'm finally at the point where I'm about to stop with it."

She set down her coffee mug and turned around in his embrace so she was facing him. She put both arms around him and rested her head against his chest, her ear pressed to his heart. "You know, Patrick, you are the most precious human being I know. I love you so much. I'm sure, you've pretty much figured out everything I was just pondering and still you haven't blamed me for any of this mess at any point. And you would have had every right to do so."

She inhaled his unique, comforting, beloved scent. "You always claim that I'm forgiving, Patrick. But you have a very forgiving nature yourself, at least when it comes to the people you love." Quietly she added, "And you're a very wise man too. And very mature in many respects underneath that childlike or rather childish behavior you often present to the world."

"I guess, I do have my moments," he said, becoming a bit flustered by her open compliments. "Most of my useful advice is hard won by personal experience," he admitted. "And probably hard to spot amongst all the bullshit," he added in an attempt to lighten the mood.

He continued in a more serious tone again, "Oh, and by the way, there's nothing to forgive, Teresa. I'm pretty sure that a lot of your actions in the past months have been direct, if subconscious reactions to the way I have been treating you in the past. Before you start second-guessing your whole character and question and judge all of your recent behavior, you should just accept that even you, my dear, are only human like the rest of us. We've already established that we're both to blame for the mess we created. But – to quote a very wise and beautiful woman –," he pecked her on the nose, "in case you need to hear the words: you are forgiven."

"Thank you," she whispered. "I think, I did need to hear that." She snuggled deeper into him and went on, "But my initial problem remains unresolved. I still don't know where we're gonna go from here in our professional partnership."

He massaged her scalp, effectively getting rid of the first signs of a tension headache she hadn't even really realized was approaching. She purred contentedly. "I don't think, there's a ready solution for that," Jane stated. "It's a bit of a vicious circle. Don't you think it would be best if we just used a trial and error approach? We could do the calibrating as we go." She gave a short nod, inviting him to elaborate. "The main problem has always been that we didn't really talk about these matters with each other," he said. "But finding the right balance between you having the benefit of deniability when needed and you feeling included and like my true partner will probably just take time."

He lightened his touch, now only playing with her hair. "Ultimately you need to make the decision where to draw your line, what you're comfortable with and what not, Teresa. I'm more than willing to help you to the best of my abilities. But you always insist on making your own decisions and rightfully so."

He paused for a moment, giving her time to let his words sink in. He kissed the top of her head and went on to round off his little speech, "So we'll have to keep an open mind and an open line of communication. And no going back to placing blame when something doesn't work out like we would've wished right away. What do you think? Does that sound reasonable, partner?"

"Yes, it does, partner. And like hard work too. But it's worth it," she replied.

"Oh yes, it is. As you might have realized – I'm not exactly a team player." She interrupted him with a snort. "Yeah, okay. So I'm not good at this whole playing with the other kids thing. But you're already broken in quite nicely, Lisbon. I'd hate to have to do it all over again with someone else."

She slapped him very half-heartedly. "Now I feel really appreciated, Jane."

He sighed theatrically. "It's so hard to please you, woman. Either you're accusing me of sweet-talking or you're complaining because my flowers aren't pretty enough for your exclusive taste. I must say, you're very high-maintenance, Lisbon." A terribly cute pout appeared on his lips.

She snickered and kissed the pout away. "Thank you, Patrick. This talk has been really helpful to me. I… I think, sometimes I still underestimate you. Though I really should know better. I mean from my years of working with you I should be aware of how much psychological insight you truly possess. I mean, I know that and value it and depend on it at work, but somehow I don't always appreciate enough how much this holds true for our personal relationship too," she stated a while later.

"Mhm," he uttered. "Maybe that's because my usual methods of using my knowledge are so underhanded. Or sneaky, or what you'd probably call manipulative and controlling. I don't necessarily communicate my insights, just act on them without consulting you. I'll work on it, Teresa. I promise you that. But I might make mistakes. It's deeply ingrained in my personality. I've basically been like that all my life. I hope, you'll be patient with me."

She kissed him again. "I will, Patrick. And I hope, you'll be patient with me too."

He nodded and pulled her into another deep kiss.

* * *

A few hours later they were down at the beach again, lying side by side on a big beach towel drying off in the sun after a swim. Lisbon was wearing an emerald green bathing suit Jane seemed to have taken a real shine to. He wore trunks with horizontal stripes in blue and white which in Lisbon's opinion showed off his butt to perfection (his crotch too), especially during their swim when the wet material had been clinging to him. She'd admired the view and done some serious squeezing while they'd been in deep water and thus under the radar of other guests.

Lisbon had received two e-mails confirming that they could look at one of the houses they were interested in – their favorite – and the apartment already the day after their return to Austin. Now they'd just decided to make good for their missed dinner from four days ago to celebrate their last night on Islamorada. They'd have to leave the next day and enjoying a special evening seemed like a fitting conclusion for their stay.

"I would love to see you in that green lace dress tonight," Jane admitted.

"You're such a man, Jane," she replied, rolling her eyes.

"What's wrong with that? I for one see that as a great advantage considering that you, my dear, are clearly into men," he answered.

She snickered. "Well, there's that… But you know what I meant. You want me to play dress up for you. Be your frilly girlfriend and all that stuff you guys are so fond of."

He shook his head, sat up so he could look her straight in the eyes, very serious all at once. "No, Teresa. That's not my intention. I don't want you to dress up for me. I want you to do it for yourself. I want you to see the beautiful woman I see whenever I look at you. No matter what you wear. Your natural beauty always shines through to me. But you've been defining yourself as a strong, independent woman all your life, surrounded by men, fighting to be taken seriously. And that is reflected in your dressing style too. And that's totally alright. But I want you to know that you can be the woman who enjoys being just a woman too when we are together."

He bent down and whispered in her ear, "I don't deny that seeing you in a dress is a serious turn on. You were absolutely breath-taking when you came down those stairs in that pink dress, mainly because you yourself **felt** breath-taking, Teresa. You were radiant," he purred. "But I'd never want you to wear a dress just because it turns me on. I want you to feel desirable, beautiful while wearing one. For yourself. If you're not comfortable, I don't want you to think that you have to pretend for my sake. But I think, you do enjoy dressing up once in a while. More so now than a few years ago. I've seen a change in you since I came back. Being away from the CBI has made a difference, right?"

She nodded. "Wearing a uniform again actually helped in some respects. You don't have to make a special effort to look professional and strong when you're in uniform," she admitted. "And it also meant that I could wear totally different things when I wasn't on duty. And I was the chief. No men around to constantly question my position."

"Though it's mostly just the uniform people respect, not necessarily the person wearing it. Which is a waste in your case. You don't need a uniform. You possess natural authority. Just because some idiotic macho men don't want to acknowledge it because it threatens their sorry excuses for masculinity shouldn't be the reason why you can't be yourself," he replied emphatically.

She shook her head and grinned. "You know, Jane, sometimes I think, you're not for real, honestly."

He furrowed his brow. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Just that you're too good to be true sometimes. I mean, what you just said about me and dresses and all that – it's kind of exactly what just about every woman only ever dreams of hearing from a man. And if they do happen to hear it – it's normally from their gay best friends." She snickered.

He snorted. "I think, you, my dear, have been watching too many chick flicks. Anyway, I sincerely hope that I'm your best friend. But I sure as hell aren't gay. I thought, I'd already given you ample proof of that. But I wouldn't be opposed to delivering other pieces of evidence if needed."

She snickered again. "Oh, I do know that you're not gay, honey. But I'll give you the opportunity to show me again and again and again, I promise." On a more serious note she added, "But – and I mean that in a very nice way – you're still not the typical manly man. At least not compared to most of the men we're surrounded by in law enforcement."

"Won't argue with you on that one. I'd like to think of myself as a whole lot more refined and gentlemanly than those brutes," he replied snootily.

"Oh hell, I love you, Patrick Jane!" poured out of her in impulse. "You're so cute."

"First you more or less accuse me of being gay. Now you call me cute. I think, I feel a serious gender crisis approaching," he stated theatrically.

"We could always go back to the hotel and do something… mhm… reaffirming," she whispered seductively in his ear.

"Let's go."

* * *

They spent the rest of the afternoon confirming Jane's maleness. Repeatedly.

They'd made a reservation for the hotel restaurant on their way back from the beach, so they didn't have to worry about making elaborate dinner plans. After taking very well needed – and separate – showers, they got ready for their date. With a new, happy spring to her step, Lisbon put on the green lace dress Jane had gotten for her and allowed herself to get in touch with her more feminine side to her heart's desire, taking extra care with her hair and make-up too. Jane watched with rapture.

"I'm sorry, I haven't anything special to wear," he said after a while. "I mean, you'd outshine me in any case but I wished, I had something a bit more elegant."

"You can easily fix your wardrobe when we get back to Austin. Actually, I'm all for it. But for now – how about that dark grey suit and the white shirt I got you? It's a bit casual but with your suit jacket it'll look nice enough. And your new black shoes won't look too off with that ensemble either," Lisbon reassured him. "I don't mind. You are very beautiful to me, no matter what you wear. And though I really enjoyed it for a while, I'm kind of glad you shaved off that scruff of yours this morning."

"Thanks for putting up with this scruffy old man for so long," he replied. "I'll clean up, I promise."

She came over to him and gave him a hug. "You know, Patrick? Those things you said to me about clothes earlier? They apply to you too. I want you to feel comfortable with what you wear. Correct me if I'm wrong, but your appearance often reflects how you feel. And I guess, it took you some time to let go of that island and everything it represented. You've been on the threshold of moving on for a while. But you've only crossed it now."

He nodded. "I guess, that's true. But you'll be happy to learn that I actually have a few more items of clothing back home than those you've seen me in lately. Some casual stuff."

"Oh?" she asked with astonishment.

"Yeah. I had good intentions all along. Ever since coming back. I was trying. But then things grew difficult between us and my major reason for changing seemed so far out of reach. It's different now," he explained, pulling her closer. "I'm not sure what I really want to wear for work from now on. I'll have to figure it out. Wouldn't mind a shopping guide though, baby."

"I'd love to. Will be fun to put you into sexy stuff," she teased.

"Now who's sounding like a real macho?" he complained.

She snickered. "Oh come on, Jane. I'm sure you know very well who's wearing the breeches in this relationship."

"You're a cruel woman, Lisbon. Our dinner reservation's in ten minutes. That's not enough time to demonstrate my manliness to you again," he whispered in her ear. "Though I'm a bit worried about your memory, my dear. You can't have possibly forgotten what I did to you all afternoon. And I didn't even need any breeches for it. Au contraire."

Lisbon giggled in answer. "But you could wear breeches at work from now on, Jane. I'm sure, it would be all the rage with the ladies. And it would be your only chance to wear them, 'cause at home I'll be the one wearing them."

He laughed out loud. "Oh, I'd love to share my breeches with you, Lisbon!"

* * *

They spent a lovely last evening at the restaurant of the Blue Bird Lodge. The food was excellent, as was the company. Their table was outside on the terrace, the moon was still almost full and shining big and bright down on them, colorful Chinese lanterns illuminated the restaurant area. Jane entertained Lisbon with stories from his time in Venezuela and Lisbon regaled him with anecdotes about some of the more wacky residents of Cannon River.

Later on another part of the terrace was turned into a dance floor and with a bit of playful grouching Jane could convince his partner that they could indulge in some slow dancing even with his injured ankle. It felt wonderful to be in his arms, swaying to the soft music. She remembered all those years ago when they'd shared their first dance on a case at a high school reunion. It had felt good back then too. Dangerously good. It had also been like doing a second trust fall with him in a way. Because she'd allowed herself to relinquish control to him. She'd trusted him enough to close her eyes and let him lead – a big step for her.

And it had felt damn good to be held like that. The wounds from Bosco's death had still been fresh and Jane had been her anchor back then. She'd been close to her breaking point, especially when Madeleine had first appeared on the scene. Though Jane had still been Jane and gotten her in trouble with the new boss, he'd also fixed the situation. She didn't know the details of how he'd done it but Hightower had confided to her later on, after their relationship had turned into a tentative friendship, that Jane had run interference with their boss at some point. Madeleine had been quite reluctant to admit it but she'd had to concede that she'd met her match in Jane. She'd tried to play him and had ended up being played by him – a fate she shared with most of the people who had dared to challenge the mentalist.

Now dancing with Jane felt even better because he was truly hers and there was no doubt in her mind anymore that he loved her and that they'd have a great future together.

They danced in a tight embrace and she enjoyed to feel the evidence of his body's reaction to their closeness pressed against her stomach. It also impressed her if she was really honest. There was certainly nothing wrong with his virility considering what they'd been (or rather he'd been) 'up' to more or less the whole day.

The only fly in the ointment was that this was their last evening in paradise and they had to leave tomorrow and face the reality of everyday life in Austin. But there was so much to look forward to also back home that their impending departure couldn't really kill the mood.

Their night ended with one last, sweet sexual encounter in their hotel room. It was all careful softness because they both felt the physical results of several rather stormy unions in the course of the day. There was still some pain mixed into the pleasure but somehow that felt right too. It was just enough to add an extra spark, appealing to the more sultry parts of their personalities. Completely exhausted they fell asleep before they'd even had a chance to truly come down from their high.

* * *

**TBC**

**Your comments and feedback are very encouraging and I truly appreciate them. **


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Here's another one. Slowly but surely they're making their way back to Austin... While I'll still focus on the development of the relationship, this story will also include a case. The choice of case is actually inspired by just about the only thing Bruno Heller has said about season 7 so far and that was right after we learned about the renewal... Thanks again for all the wonderful feedback, especially to those of you I couldn't thank personally.**

* * *

**This Is Not A Drill – Seven**

Lisbon was woken from deep sleep by insistent kisses and hands caressing her face. She opened her eyes and saw more or less nothing. It was dark in the hotel room apart from the shine from some street lamps. They offered just enough light to make out the smiling features of her partner who was hovering above her – fully clothed in his new jeans and one of his old shirts. "Go away," she grumbled

"Wakey, wakey, Lisbon," he whispered gently.

She sighed. "Still dark, Jane. 'm tired. Don't wanna…" She closed her eyes again.

He peppered her face with kisses, making it impossible for her to get back to sleep. "Jaaaane, stop!" she growled. "It's still the middle of the night."

"No, it's 5.30, baby. Time to get up or we'll be too late," Jane replied merrily.

She groaned in deep frustration. "Too late for what? To get enough sleep? Our flight doesn't leave until this afternoon," she muttered.

"Come oooon, Lisboooooon," he whined. "Time's of paramount importance."

"Whatever for?" she inquired, slightly more awake now.

He put on his most endearing smile. "It's a surprise, Lisbon."

She couldn't help but groan again. "You know that I don't like surprises, Jane."

"Of course you do. You love them. You're just too much of a grouch to admit it," he replied merrily.

"No I don't and no I'm not," she grumbled.

"Please, Teresa. Humor me," he pleaded with puppy dog eyes.

She sighed in resignation. "Alright. You'll be insufferable anyway if you don't get your way," she stated and got up. "Do I have time for a shower at least?" she asked.

"Afraid not. But you can do that afterwards. Just put on some comfy cloths, Teresa," he answered eagerly, obviously happy that she was going along with whatever scheme he'd come up with this time. "It'll only gonna be you and I and I love you just the way you are."

* * *

Fifteen minutes later they had left the hotel behind. Jane was leading the way. They were holding hands and Lisbon felt quite a bit of anticipation and a tiny bit of dread – not an unusual mixture of feelings where Jane-surprises were concerned. He had taken her hand and entwined their fingers the moment they'd left their room, his thumb was caressing the back of her hand. In his other hand he was carrying some kind of basket that he'd received at the reception desk.

Like practically anywhere on the island they were bound to move towards a beach. They'd reached a secluded part, flanked by some rocks and palm trees, when Jane asked her to stop and face the ocean. He set down the basket, stepped behind her, and motioned for her to lean with her back against his chest. His arm came around her and he took hold of her hands resting on her stomach.

"Why are we here?" she asked tentatively.

"I want to see the sunrise," he replied.

Just a moment later the sky started to take on hues of orange, yellow, and pink and the first rays of the sun seemed to crawl out of the surface of the calm sea.

"There's something I want to tell you, Lisbon. Something I should have said a long time ago. I want to thank you for everything that you've done," Jane whispered into her ear.

"You don't have to…" Lisbon tried to interrupt him.

"No, I… I need to say this now," he insisted. "You have no idea what you've meant to me. What you mean to me. Thank you, Teresa Lisbon. Thank you for making my life worth living again. Thank you for putting the pieces of my heart together. Thank you for all the chances you've given me over the years. And thank you for trusting me with your heart," he said, voice full of feeling and breaking at times.

"This is how it should've been back then," he went on. "But it couldn't be. Keeping you safe was far more important at the time. But I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry that I used your feelings against you. I still want you to know that I meant every word of it back then, just like I do now."

Tears were running down his cheeks, his voice was tight with emotion. "But back then the time wasn't right. It was sunset. Now, Teresa, now it's as it should be: the sun rising at the dawn of a new day. A new day of our shared future. I love you from the bottom of my heart."

Silent tears ran down her cheeks, tears of happiness and of remembered pain. Tears of relief and of healing. Tears that mingled with his when she turned around in his arms and pulled him into a deep, warm, heartfelt kiss. Tightly embraced they stood there kissing for a long time while the sky painted the most beautiful background for them, like the nature around them had decided to give them a colorful glimpse of the wonderful future lying ahead of them, filled with warmth and tenderness.

* * *

"Thank you, Patrick," Lisbon said gently after their need to breathe had forced their lips apart. "I appreciate this, I truly do. Though I know why you did what you did back there in Malibu, it still hurt. You'd never used my feelings against me before and you truly hurt me. But I guess, I didn't give you much of a choice, huh? And I'd probably be dead now if I had been there with you at the house. I've come to terms with that."

She pecked him on the lips. "I still cherish this moment. That you want to build this new memory with me. And I love you too, Patrick, with all of my heart."

He put his arms firmly around her in answer and hugged her. Her arms came around his back too, her fingers almost clawing at him through his shirt. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the moment, still deeply touched.

Upon opening them her eyes fell on the basket that stood forgotten beside them. She motioned with her head in the direction of it. "What's that, Jane?"

"Oh, I almost forgot. I have a surprise for you," he said with a wink, watching her reaction carefully while making this risky allusion to that other beach encounter from more than two years ago.

"This is no joking matter." She gave him a stern look but couldn't keep it up for long which told her that she'd truly forgiven him. A big grin spread on her lips instead. "There's no car anywhere in sight, honey, and you have a hurt ankle. I feel pretty safe that I'll be able to outrun you by miles if you try to scram, Jane. You've got to deliver that surprise this time."

"It's just a blanket and breakfast. Nothing special, I'm afraid," Jane explained while opening the basket and starting to spread out the fabric.

She smiled a truly happy smile and gave him a hand. "Oh, a beach picnic! How wonderful!"

They emptied the basket and found dishes and cutlery, a thermos jug with coffee and one with tea, an assortment of fruits in bite-sized pieces, and a variety of small sandwiches ranging from peanut butter and jelly to roast beef with horse-radish.

Lounging comfortably on the blanket they fed each other morsels of food, kissed, cuddled and enjoyed each other's company in the ascending sun. After breakfast they lay side by side for a while before they packed up their gear and walked back to the hotel hand in hand.

* * *

They had to vacate their room by noon so they showered, packed their bags, and checked out right away. They'd decided to take the shuttle bus to Miami and wanted to spent the last hours before they had to be at the airport in the city to take in the sights. After their early breakfast they opted for an early lunch too, choosing one of the many restaurants offering Floribbean cuisine. They found a cozy table in a booth that granted them some privacy.

"What are we gonna do when we're back in Austin?" Jane asked when they'd ordered. "I mean… Well, to be honest, the thought of you in your house while I'm in my Airstream doesn't sit well with me. I… I don't want to spend even a single night without you," he confessed.

"Mhm," she uttered. "You're welcome to stay at my place until I have to move out in a few days. But it's chaos. Boxes everywhere and empty cupboards. Not really a nice place to be."

"How about the silver bucket?" he inquired tentatively. "I know, you hate it and it's not much. But… well… I know, it's unreasonable but your place is kind of… kind of tainted for me. I mean, I've… you never once invited me there. I've only ever been to it once and well… we both know how that ended. It's kind of… It's the place you shared with… with him," he stammered, a very uncharacteristic thing for him.

She saw a deep sadness in his eyes – just for a short moment and he'd tried to mask it immediately – but she was sure she'd seen it. Thinking about this made her feel ashamed again. He had invited her to his 'home' several times. She'd declined until a case and thus work had left her with no choice. But she'd sat beside him in total silence during their ride. She hadn't uttered a single nice word about his trailer even once though in all honesty his Airstream wasn't all that bad. It was homey and it smelled of Jane and showed traces of his personality all over. With other words: it had felt like a very cozy place to be.

If she hadn't been so pre-occupied with turning her own life into chaos and letting Marcus push her around, she would have seen all that. Jane's pride in his 'mobile office', his happiness at finally having her there and sharing his 'Silver Sovereign' with his best friend and probably also his resignation when all she had expressed was utter disinterest and unease – with the whole DC matter preying on her mind heavily.

God, how embarrassed and ashamed she felt now remembering how Abbott had read her the riot act about leaving it up to the office gossip for Jane to learn about her possible move. What must her boss think of her? She decided then and there to ask for a meeting with the supervising agent to apologize for her childish and immature behavior over the last weeks.

In all honesty she hadn't even been opposed to Jane's trailer per se. She'd only taken an instant dislike because of what she'd assumed it represented, namely Jane's unwillingness to settle down (with her). She on the other hand hadn't allowed Jane into her place even once. He'd readily offered to help her with the moving in, but she'd declined snippily, claiming that he'd most probably be useless when it came to practical tasks anyway and only wanted a chance to snoop around in her things. She'd asked Cho for help instead.

Looking back she had to admit, she'd truly behaved horribly towards Jane. How must he have felt? He had even risked imprisonment to be with her. He'd come back only to be close to her and in many respects they'd probably been further apart than when he'd still been in Venezuela. He'd at least had his letters and the hope and conviction that she was still his friend back on that island.

With new resolve she looked straight at her partner and said, "I'd love to share your home with you until we've found a place together, Patrick."

He beamed at her but his voice was full of doubt. "Really? Are you sure? I mean, I'd understand if you rather wanted to stay with Cho. He has a nice place. You don't have to do this if you don't want to and just to please me. I'd understand if you wanted to make other arrangements. Really. No pressure."

His last words made her flinch. How she'd grown to hate that expression! If she never heard that particular phrase again it would still be too soon! Her features grew hard and unyielding, her shoulders tensed until Jane's broken, worried tone brought her out of her upsetting recollection. "Teresa? Please, what did I say to upset you so? I'm truly sorry. I didn't mean to offend you. Please, can you tell me what I did? I have no idea, really."

"What…? Oh… No, Patrick, I'm the one who's sorry. I didn't… This has nothing to do with you. You did nothing wrong. And I truly want to stay with you in your silver bucket," she reassured him warmly. "My reaction was just to some of your wording. But that's not your fault."

He looked at her very intently like only Patrick Jane could, almost making her feel naked, bared to the bone. A moment later he seemed satisfied with what he'd seen and nodded. "Okay, yeah. So it was really not about me. I'm glad because I truly didn't mean any offense. But it would be nice if you told me what particular words I should better avoid around you in the future, Teresa."

"No pressure," she muttered under her breath.

"What?" he asked. "I'm not sure, I got that."

She took a deep breath. "No pressure," she repeated, loud and clear this time, disgust all over her face.

"Aha," Jane replied knowingly.

"You… you've figured it out already, haven't you?" she inquired, though she knew the answer. Jane was the smartest person she knew after all and catching on to things like this was right up his alley.

He nodded. "Agent Pike's favorite line of bullshit, I presume?"

It was her turn to nod.

"Okay, I promise, I won't use it ever again. Though in my defense: I actually meant it, Teresa," he said tenderly.

"I know, Patrick. Really, I do. These past days with you have taught me a lot about you, me, us. About how different you are compared to… well, to other men I've been with." She released a deep breath. "I don't feel pressured at all with you. I feel light and happy and everything feels right. The thought of living with you feels right. No matter where we do it. I don't want to be without you anymore either. Okay?"

"Okay. My baby is your baby then," Jane stated with a grin just as their food arrived.

Lisbon smiled at him, but before she could start to eat her delicious looking and smelling seafood dish she had to get one last thing off her mind. "Mhm, Patrick?" He looked up from his plate with an attentive expression. "I know we've said that we're starting into this relationship with a clean slate but for that to work for me I need to say this: I apologize for the way I've been treating you during our time in Austin. I've made a lot of mistakes and I made it incredible hard, if not impossible for you to… to approach me, and work things out with me… I was a lousy friend and I'm truly sorry for it. I want you to know that I'm aware of that, okay?"

"I know that, Teresa. And it's alright. And I have so much to apologize for in that respect…" he replied warmly.

"But that's not the point, Patrick," she interrupted him. "Just because you have done some… some hurtful things in the past doesn't give me the right to treat you like that. And it doesn't excuse my attitude. I'm responsible for my own behavior. Our friendship should've been above such pettiness from me. I'm not sure whether I did it as some kind of pay-back. Have to think a bit more on that. But no matter why I did it – it wasn't right," Lisbon stated emphatically.

He nodded. "In that case: apology accepted. And now we should really eat this feast before it gets cold. Oh, and I'm gonna have this extremely delicious looking shrimp. It so has my name on it," he said with a devious grin and before Lisbon could stop him, his fork had already pronged one of her prawns.

"Hey!" she exclaimed. "Give that back, Jane! Eat your own food."

"But yours looks so much better," he whined with puppy dog eyes.

She grinned and impaled her own fork in a piece of his lemon and mango chicken dish. "Oh, this doesn't look too bad to me."

And thus their usual ritual of 'sharing' their meals ensued…

* * *

Their flight home went far better than expected. After Jane's – in Lisbon's humble opinion – audacious, bold, impudent, if ingenious dealings with the head of security of the North Terminal four days ago – the very terminal they ended up having to use this time too – they were treated like special guests of honor by the TSA personnel. Lisbon was speechless when upon arrival at the airport they were being escorted by two friendly, smiling (and too good-looking in her opinion, especially because they were quite flirty with her boyfriend) women in uniform, who'd informed them that officer Hartman sent his best wishes and welcomed them back. He'd seen their names on the flight list and had ordered preferential treatment.

Jane was very amused of course and extremely smug while Lisbon wasn't sure whether she should flip his nose or punch something. This was really of no pedagogical value to her already perky partner. Now he even got rewarded for his rule-breaking. He saw her frustration of course and whispered, "Relax, Lisbon. You're not my boss anymore, remember? Just enjoy the show, partner. Maybe you'll even get an extra cookie aboard. And as far as I'm concerned – I don't see any danger of becoming a repeat offender when it comes to illegally boarding an aircraft. So you don't need to be afraid that I didn't learn my lesson. And I have an injured ankle as a reminder too."

She had to admit that he had a point. Maybe this was one of the cases in which she had to learn to go with the flow and simply accept the perks of being Jane's partner. And not give him any reason to storm planes anymore. She could do that. Just keeping him close by – on a leash if necessary – should do the trick.

With this new attitude she could suddenly see the humor in the situation and had a real ball when they were even offered a glass of champagne after passing through the security check without a hitch. That they were upgraded to first class seats on the plane too was the icing on the cake.

"I don't believe this. Only you, Jane. Only you," she muttered under her breath for Jane's ears only, shaking her head in faked resignation while a friendly flight attendant took care of her purse and she got comfortable in her snug, roomy seat.

He chuckled. "Guess, that's another fine pickle I've gotten us in," he teased.

"Oh shut up, Jane," she scolded him with a big grin.

* * *

The four and a half hours on the plane went by in a truly pleasant way. They got served a delicious dinner, more champagne, coffee (tea in Jane's case) and sweets, and they watched a nice movie together holding hands and snuggling into each other. Lisbon had never enjoyed such luxury during a flight before. She told Jane as much and he babbled something inane about princesses getting all the comfort they deserved on their private flights from now on, which made her roll her eyes at such a waste of money. He just smiled knowingly and winked, and she resolved to make sure to supervise any travel plans he made for them in the future.

* * *

They made a little detour to Lisbon's house when they'd finally arrived in Austin. She needed fresh clothes and a few other things and as they would have to get back to work the following day and would view a house right after work, there'd probably not be much time for her to go to her place.

Jane promised her to help with the clearing out and organizing of it all. As the house had come partly furnished and she'd sold her place in Cannon River with most of the furniture too, she didn't possess that much. They both agreed that this was actually a good thing because they could really start together without much ballast.

"There's only one piece I'm really not willing to part with," she admitted when they entered the house. "It's an old kitchen cabinet my mother's family brought with them from Ireland. I love it."

"Then I'm sure I'll love it too. Show me." They went into the kitchen. "It's lovely!" Jane exclaimed when his eyes fell on it. "These are beautiful, hand-made Irish knot carvings. It's exquisite, Lisbon. I'm sure, this is worth a fortune. A wonderful heirloom."

She rolled her eyes. "Let me guess – you've stored everything worth knowing about Irish wood carving in your memory palace, right?"

He grinned and indicated a few inches between his thumb and pointer. "Just a little. I had that phase when I wanted to learn more about my heritage. So I'd have something to tell Charlotte. I have Irish roots too, you know? Anyway, that's why I read a few books about Irish history back in my roaring twenties."

"Geez, I can't believe I never made the connection, though your name is a dead give-away!" She shook her head at her own ignorance. "But that means that this cabinet can represent both our roots. That's nice, isn't it?" Lisbon replied.

"I'd truly like that," he said with a small smile. "I don't have anything like that myself. To be honest, I don't have anything from my childhood."

She started to gather a few papers. "One of these days I want you to tell me a bit more about your family background, Patrick. And about carnie life. And the Turners. I'd really like to learn a bit more about you."

"All in due time, Teresa. All in due time. For now – how can I help? Is there anything I can pack or look for?" he offered.

She pondered the question for a moment and with some hesitation she said, "Well, there should be a box in the bedroom labeled 'Official'. If you could go and find it and bring it here, that would be helpful."

"I'm not gonna snoop around. Especially not in the bedroom," he reassured her, sensing her reluctance to allow him into her most private domain. "Please trust me." In a quiet voice he added, "And I sure as hell have no intention of stumbling over any of Pike's smelly socks or… or worse."

"Oh," she uttered with a blush. "If you're uncomfortable going in there… sorry. I didn't think…"

He shook his head. "No, it's alright. I am not gonna start being self-deceptive and try to pretend the last weeks didn't happen. I don't think that's healthy. Have to face it anyway."

He left the kitchen without further instructions but Lisbon was sure, he'd be homing in on her bedroom as if he'd been a frequent visitor at her place. And really, just a couple of minutes later he re-appeared carrying the very box she'd sent him to find. Who needed a sleuth dog when you had a Jane around?

"I hope, the bed's one of the items staying here," he announced. "It's ugly and not at all suitable for us."

She wasn't too sure whether he was truly talking about the piece of furniture or more about what it must represent to him but either way – she understood his position and the bed had come with the house anyway. "Don't worry," she assuaged his fears. She stepped over to him and gave him a hug, stroking his back. "It's not mine. And I want us to pick out a new bed anyway. A really big, sturdy one with a very comfy mattress. And new bedding too."

"Good," he mumbled into her hair.

* * *

They left shortly afterwards. Jane insisted on carrying her suitcase out to her car despite her protests. Lisbon was glad she still had her car. She'd not had the time to sell it and that turned out to be a godsend now that she would stay in Austin with a boyfriend whose only mode of transportation was a big silver monstrosity…

They drove to the place where Jane currently resided – a small patch of land close to the river that was used as a trailer park, a surprisingly well kept one, she had to admit. He had a direct view of the waterfront from his 'kitchen window' and the next trailer was quite a distance away. His Airstream stood surrounded by trees and rather secluded and offered more privacy than Lisbon had expected or allowed herself to hope. This was actually quite nice, she thought. It felt a bit like being on holiday and would certainly be adequate until they could move into their new, permanent home.

"Welcome aboard," Jane said warmly when they'd both entered. "Please make yourself at home. Feel free to use whatever you want, snoop around, put your things where you want them. I know, there isn't much space here but I'll show you a few tricks of the trade and how this wonderful trailer can be converted into this and that in some easy steps."

She looked around and let him explain how everything worked. "The Airstream models are famous for their practical designs and sturdiness," he explicated. "No better trailer on the market."

"Why didn't you ask for a newer model though?" Lisbon asked curiously. "Why this one? It looks like it's from the seventies or something."

He looked a bit sheepish. "That's… well… an old childhood wish," he admitted. "Every carnie with a bit of pride had an Airstream. Still has as a matter of fact. You might remember that from our visits with Pete and Sam. Well, we didn't. Our trailer was a nightmare. And my father kept promising to get us a better one, an Airstream of course." He sighed a bit wistfully. "Well, suffice it to say: daddy dearest never followed through. He gambled away our money the moment we had something to spare. This –," he indicated the space around them, "– is the very model everyone had back when I was a child. That's why I wanted this particular one."

"So this is also about reliving childhood memories then. Or rather recouping?" she inquired gently.

"Yes, you could say that. You know, these things even have a certain smell to them, no matter who occupies them. It's very distinct. To me that's the fragrance of my childhood dreams," he confessed, still looking very bashful. "I know, it's fatuous but…"

She shook her head and took hold of his hand, squeezing it gently. "No, it's not. It's cute and it's you and I understand it. Thanks for telling me."

* * *

It was already rather late when Lisbon had found places for her odds and ends and they'd both taken a shower they had felt they needed after all the traveling and had gotten ready for bed. Jane prepared some tea for them as a nightcap – something without caffeine. She had no idea what exactly it was, but it was something spicy she really enjoyed. After brushing their teeth side by side – though it was a very close fit – they finally made their way to the bed. Jane had put on clean linen while Lisbon had taken her shower and to her surprise, the bedding was very soft and cozy – as was the mattress.

"Didn't you say that your bed is lumpy?" she asked after snuggling into both the bed and her boyfriend. "Can't feel any lumps. This is actually pretty comfy."

He pulled her closer, sneaking his hands under the hem of the nightshirt she'd insisted to wear though he'd promised he'd remove it – and soon. "I wasn't entirely truthful during that conversation," he admitted. "It wasn't so much the lumps in the bed that kept me from sleeping here. I…" He sighed. "I felt profoundly lonely, Lisbon. And being here alone made it even worse than sleeping at the FBI. At least there's the night shift there and cleaners – always a certain level of noise. And the couch, well, it's been the closest thing to a home I've had. Reminded me of a time when we weren't at odds. Helped me keep up the illusion of not being alone."

"I'm sorry," she whispered, then turned her head so she could kiss him.

Things turned heated quickly. He moaned into her mouth when her hand made short work of his shorts and brushed his erection in the process of removing his only garment. He pushed up her shirt, caressing the skin he exposed, taking special care with her breasts. Then he pulled the nightie over her head and threw it as far away as he could. "Told you, it would have to go," he purred into her ear. "I want you naked in my bed."

"'kay," she moaned, while Jane's subtle, clever fingers played her core like a musician his instrument. "Please," she sighed, not sure herself what she was asking for.

Jane raised himself into a sitting position. He rested his back against the wall at the head of the bed, stretched out his legs, and lifted an astonished Lisbon up and onto his lap. But she caught on to his plans soon enough. He lowered her slowly and she made sure to impale herself on his shaft. When she came to rest with her butt on his thighs, his erection deeply buried inside of her, they both moaned deeply. "God, feels good," she whispered.

Their mouths found each other and they engaged in a lust filled kiss, her hands buried in his curls, urging him to deepen the contact as much as possible. His hands stroked their way down her back and came to rest on her hips. Slowly he started to lift her up and down. She cast her head back and cried out her arousal when he added a slight rotation to the motion, reaching places inside of her she'd never been aware of. "Ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod," she panted. "Please don't stop, feels so good."

"Yeah," he agreed huskily.

She pressed her chest against his so her breasts rubbed against him with every move, the friction heightening her arousal until it was almost unbearable.

Jane increased the pace and the power until both of them could only utter incoherent babbling and moaning. When he shifted the angle a little, she couldn't hold back any longer. She came and came and came with a helpless scream, urging him on to reach his own climax too. She panted, stroking his arms in uncontrolled movements, needing to touch him, to ground herself. He followed her over the edge soon after with something sounding like the mixture between a whimper, a sob, and a groan while her teeth nibbled gently on her favorite part of his neck.

He held her tight, one hand in her hair, one arm around her waist, still quite out of breath. She stroked down his sides, enjoying to feel safe and loved in his arms. He slid down the wall until they were lying down and she stretched out her legs between his. To her chagrin this meant that his penis slipped out of her and both sighed at the feeling of loss this caused. They lay like that, sharing languid kisses for a while. When they'd cooled down a bit, Jane gathered the comforter and covered them. They found a comfy position to sleep. His breathing evened out and to the sound of it she fell asleep too.

* * *

Jane had actually set the alarm on his phone – something she was astonished and delighted about because she'd totally forgotten to set hers. Though she had to concede that it rattled her a bit too that he'd actually been the responsible one. She truly had to work on seeing herself as the adult and him as the ingenious but unruly toddler…

Due to adult-Jane's foresight they had woken up in time to get ready for work and even to eat the breakfast Jane prepared for them – eggs (of course – she'd rolled her eyes), toast, and the most exquisite raspberry jelly that he told her, he'd bought at some farmers' market – as well as peanut butter, which she learnt, he got delivered for free each month by a bunch of homesteaders in Gentry, a place close to the Mexican border, who he'd met on a case and who'd obviously taken a shine to him. Lisbon had named them the 'peanut butter people' back then and clearly that was a very appropriate designation. But she had to admit that it was the most delicious version of the stuff she'd have tasted. For some reason – she was pretty sure she knew why and it touched her – Jane even had gourmet coffee stored in his small kitchen cabinet.

When they sat in her car on their way to work she felt pleasantly sated and had a sufficient amount of caffeine running through her veins – a truly good start of the day. This really beat a granola bar by light years.

They arrived at the FBI HQ in good time. Wylie hugged Lisbon enthusiastically and told her, how very happy he was that she was going to stay.

Cho looked up for a second, nodded in their direction, and grunted something that might have been a hello. But Lisbon could identify the small smile in his eyes and she was more than sure that Jane had seen it too. Agent Fischer greeted them with a big grin and a knowing look when she appeared a while later. "Dennis told me to send you to him the moment you arrive," she said. "Oh, and Teresa? You have an appointment with HR in two hours to finalize the stop of your transfer."

They made their way to their boss's office, Jane leading her with his hand on the small of her back. For a moment she thought about scolding him for it and ban that kind of PDA but then she told herself that she was being ridiculous. Jane had often done this before and just because it meant something else now – though probably not even that, truth be told – didn't mean, she should veto every little touch of his at the office from now on. It would be over-the-top. Still, allowing him this little gesture of affection didn't feel right today and she flinched when they met some agents from other units on their way. Jane sensed her unease immediately and removed his hand with a slightly sad and wistful look.

She was really afraid of the office gossip, she realized. She didn't like the fact that people would think that they'd been right all along and that she'd only gotten this job because of being Jane's little woman. Which made her for the first time aware of the fact that she would've had to face the very same thing in DC too. They'd wanted Marcus and had probably only thrown a job for her into the mix so moving to DC would be more appealing to him. Here in Austin she'd at least already had the chance to prove her worth to the FBI.

But there'd be people here – especially Marcus's friends and ex-colleagues – who weren't going to be happy with her. They'd stir up trouble around the water-cooler, she presumed, when the news of her staying in Austin with Jane and dumping Marcus would become public knowledge. Cops weren't exactly known for their sensitivity after all, but rather for their loyalty towards team mates. And though she'd been a topic of the gossip mill for years, it still filled her with unease. She knew, her behavior during the last months had been… less than ideal. So in a way she deserved this, she admitted to herself, had brought this onto herself. But that didn't mean, she had to like it. And maybe it would be a good idea to keep as much distance as possible between her and Jane for the time being when they were at work.

* * *

Abbott greeted them with a friendly smile and motioned for them to take a seat in front of his desk. "I reckon, you managed to figure things out between the two of you and you're still going to stay with us, agent Lisbon?"

"Yes, sir," she replied with a nod and a little blush, Jane just beamed – which was probably a much clearer answer than their boss would've gotten from him in verbal form.

"Very good. Now to the not so pleasant part of this meeting: Jane, we have a problem," Abbott announced with a very grave expression.

Jane didn't look worried at all. "Don't we always, Dennis?"

"I'm afraid, this time, there's no chance for me to save your rear end, Patrick," their boss said. "This comes from very high up."

"It always does, doesn't it?" Jane replied cheerily, as unconcerned as before, while Lisbon started to get really anxious. "Spill the beans, Dennis. What's it this time?" the consultant asked.

Abbott shook his head in resignation at the antics of his most unusual employee. "You know that the government has launched a new initiative to increase educational levels in the US?"

"A very commendable project," Jane said merrily.

"I'm glad, you think so. Because that's were the problems lie, Jane. You're working for a governmental organization and it has come to the attention of the brass hats in DC that you have absolutely no formal education. They think, that's sending the wrong message to the people." The supervising agent cast him a very stern look. "And thus in their infinite wisdom they've decided that in order for you to continue working for the FBI and complying with our contract, you're to be sent to college."

Lisbon sat there in open-mouthed shock. That was by far the most ridiculous thing she'd heard in a while. Yes, her partner had no college degree but he was the smartest, most knowledgeable person she knew. Anyone not knowing about his background would automatically assume that this man had graduated from one of the elite universities in the country. "Sir, that's outrageous," she said, tone expressing how appalled she was. "You can't seriously expect this of Jane. He's more than proven his worth and how smart he is. Just because he hasn't been to college doesn't mean…"

Abbott raised his hand and motioned for her to stop. "I'm sorry, Teresa. But this is completely out of my hands."

"But sir!" she tried again. "That's… that's just so... unfair!"

A reassuring hand was placed on hers, squeezing gently. She turned her head and looked right into the sparkling eyes of her boyfriend who didn't look the least bit fazed. Jane gave her a nod and mouthed a silent thanks for her support, then fixed his gaze on their boss. "Okay, Dennis. How about cutting the crap now and telling us what this is really about? A senator's daughter got her pigtails pulled in college and daddy wants me to figure out who the culprit was? Or did the dean misplace his glasses and asked his sister-in-law who happens to dine with the governor once a week to arrange for professional help finding them?"

Abbott released a frustrated breath. "Didn't fool you even for a second, did I?"

Jane shook his head and grinned.

"Damn," the dark-skinned agent murmured.

"What?" Lisbon chimed in with an incredulous look. "You were pulling our chain, sir?"

"Only yours, honey," Jane mumbled under his breath. She cast him a death glare and he winked gleefully.

Now it was the supervising agent who shook his head and he smiled a bit sheepishly. "Not exactly. I might have presented the facts in a slightly misleading manner though. It's true enough that Patrick has caught the attention of the higher-ups in DC. His special abilities and especially his excellent undercover work has been taken note of." With a careful look at Lisbon he added, "I mean, it was Jane's creative plan to flush out those art thieves after all which was the main reason why agent Pike got his promotion. Needless to say that it raised attention at the top levels of the FBI and the department of justice."

Lisbon blushed a rather dark shade of red. This was getting truly uncomfortable. And she couldn't refrain from seeing the irony of it all: Jane had closed a case in the course of a little over a week that Marcus had been struggling with for months. Jane had obviously tried to make her understand his feelings for her during their undercover job, buying her nice dresses, playing house with her, and giving her a taste of being his girlfriend. All the while she'd been flirting with Marcus.

And she'd seen the lights go out in Jane's eyes when he'd come to the bullpen after the case, full of excitement, ready to celebrate their success, only to find her about to leave with another man. The very man who'd then gotten a promotion for Jane's efforts that also led to her considering moving away. All in all, this plan of Jane's had truly backfired for him because she'd misread the situation entirely. Where Jane had tried to tell her how he felt through his actions, she'd taken his scheme as yet another proof that her relationship with Jane was based on lies and that he would never truly love her.

"Anyway," Abbott continued, "The main facts are true enough. We need you, Patrick, to go to college as a student. Undercover at the University Of Texas here at Austin. Homeland Security entertains legitimate suspicion that a member of an adverse intelligence is hiding under the mantle of professor or college lecturer. He or she – they're not sure – acts as an intermediary to someone very high up. It seems like the university is being used as a transfer site for very sensitive information. With other words: this is a serious matter of national security."

"Mhm," Jane muttered. "I don't exactly have the best track record with Homeland Security, Dennis. My last contact with one of their agents was while the bastard was torturing me."

Abbott chuckled. "Guess, you just always bring out the best in people, don't you, Patrick?"

Jane smiled. "I grant you that, Dennis. But in that case I have to seriously ask myself how his superiors could overlook such obvious signs of madness for years. The guy was seriously deranged. Not that I'm not sympathetic to a certain degree. Identical twins usually share a close bond and losing your other half to a psychopathic serial killer is no picnic."

"So that's the story behind Robert Kirkland?" Abbott asked with interest. "I didn't know the details."

Jane nodded. "Yes. And he had both the CBI and the FBI spying on me for the whole time I worked with law enforcement because he entertained the absurd notion that I might be Red John. And then he tried to steal my research from me. So excuse me if I'm not too eager to help."

"Be that as it may, Jane, but I'm afraid, you won't be left with a choice in this case. We'll talk about the details later. I'm going to meet with a delegation from Washington this evening. I'll know more afterwards and we will speak again tomorrow," the agent explained.

"I want to be part of that meeting," Jane said.

Abbott shook his head. "No way, Patrick. Sorry but you'll have to trust me on this one. The less contact you have with those bureaucrats, the better. You simply do not speak the same language. And I promise that I'll give you as much say in the execution of this operation as possible. Let me do the official talking." He looked very intently in the eyes of his eccentric consultant.

Jane held his gaze for a long moment, then nodded. "Okay, Dennis." As an afterthought he added, "I owe you one anyway. For being a romantic softie." He cast a beaming smile at Lisbon.

Abbott raised his brow. "I have no idea what you're talking about." Then the corners of his mouth twitched and he looked amused and very self-satisfied. "Now, I think, agent Lisbon has a date with HR and you, Jane, go, find out what field of study you want to plow through at uni. It'll have to be something at the College of Liberal Arts. I'm sure, agent Wylie will be eager to assist you with your internet research." He motioned for them to leave.

* * *

Outside of Abbott's office Lisbon cast an incredulous at Jane. "You? At college? I think, they've lost their minds. Seriously. How are you supposed to stay undercover as a student amongst a bunch of teens and twenty-somethings?"

"Don't worry, my dear. With the right cover story it'll work out fine. Sounds like fun, actually. A whole college full of new people to annoy." He chuckled.

"That's exactly what I'm worried about," she mumbled.

He put a hand on her arm in a comforting manner and bent forward so he could whisper in her ear, "Relax, my dear."

She shook off his hand gruffly and turned in the direction of the kitchen area in dire need of coffee. He followed her gingerly and when they were alone in the small, separated space he said quietly and sheepishly. "Sorry, Lisbon. Won't touch you again." Then he left her to her own devices.

Lisbon felt bad about her reaction. Jane hadn't done anything too apparent, let alone inappropriate. Nothing in comparison to what she'd allowed Marcus to get away with at the office (no, she wouldn't think about that awful proposal that had taken place a few feet from here, no, no). Anyway, Jane had only behaved in the same way he'd always done. She would have to speak with him later. Explain her actions and her fears to him. She hoped, he'd understand, and regretted that she hadn't anticipated this situation. But during the last days the FBI and work had been so far away and other matters had been much more important.

Later, she told herself. Later.

* * *

**TBC**

**Every tiny bit of feedback is welcome and much appreciated!**


	8. Chapter 8

**This Is Not A Drill - Eight**

They had an uneventful morning at the office – no new case, just paperwork. Lisbon had been to HR and was now fully re-instated as an agent at the Austin division. To her surprise she'd even been promoted to the next level as 'compensation' for declining a higher position in DC. It wouldn't change anything in practical terms as her team's hierarchy wouldn't be altered by it, but it was still a welcome development and meant a higher salary too.

On her way back to her desk she'd been approached by one of Marcus's former team mates. The exchange hadn't been friendly to put it mildly. He'd accused her of playing games with his friend, had told her, she was just as insidious as 'that bastard of a consultant who had probably been banging her for years'. It had hurt her, though she knew that the truth was a lot different. She'd just walked away without replying. Her experience had taught her that defending herself wouldn't do any good anyway.

She was glad, she would meet Marcus in three days when he'd be in Austin to deal with a few matters. She hoped that clearing the air with him would also affect the behavior of his friends in a positive way. Until then, she would probably have to endure slights like that. Putting on a unperturbed expression she continued on her way back to her own unit.

Jane, who was busy checking out college courses on a laptop Wylie had set up for him, cast one of his intense looks at her and noticed immediately that Lisbon was troubled somehow when she entered the bullpen. He set the notebook aside, got up from his lounging position on the couch, cast her a warm smile, and disappeared. Lisbon was puzzled by his behavior until he returned a moment later with a coffee mug and a chocolate truffle which he put in front of her with another one of his radiant smiles. He didn't touch her which she was both grateful for and completely unhappy about because she longed for a hug or at least one of his comforting shoulder or arm squeezes.

"I'll take you out for lunch," he whispered into her ear. "I'll give you all the hugs you need then."

It made her face light up immediately and her mood improved dramatically. God, how she loved that perceptive idiot! What a pleasure it was to have a partner who understood her needs implicitly. That was the true upside of being together with a mentalist and she made a note to herself that she should keep that in mind for the next time he annoyed the hell out of her with his know-it-all behavior.

* * *

About an hour later Jane got up again and cast an askance look at her. "I'm hungry. You ready for lunch, Lisbon?"

She nodded and grabbed her purse. Agent Fischer had watched the exchange and chimed in, "I could eat a bite too."

Lisbon's face fell. It was not like she minded having the other agent around but right now she wanted to be at liberty to touch her boyfriend without other FBI personnel watching. Jane stepped over to Fischer's desk and said quietly, "Don't take this the wrong way, Kim. We'd love to have lunch with you another time but today I have some private matters to discuss with agent Lisbon. Our Kimball here looks positively famished however. I'm sure, he'd love to join you."

Cho glared at him – but only recognizable to his two old friends. Jane winked at him and mouthed 'Have fun' in his direction while he motioned for Lisbon to precede him out of the bullpen.

"Do you know the deli five blocks from here?" he inquired when they were alone in the elevator. She shook her head. "No?" he asked with raised brows. "Well, no wonder. It's not your typical cop hide-out. It's got style," he teased, but she did get his hidden message that it wasn't a place, agent Pike had been likely to have taken her.

They walked side by side and when they'd put some distance between them and the FBI HQ she took hold of his hand. "I'm sorry, I was so gruff earlier," she said, her expression full of remorse. "But I think, it's best if we avoid physical contact at work."

"It's okay, I understand," he replied evenly but a side-ways glance at him told her that he was unhappy and hurt.

She sighed. "Look, I can explain…"

He interrupted her, "No, no. It's alright, really. I understand."

"Are you sure? I mean, it's just… the situation…" She stopped, unsure how to express her fears.

"It's no problem," he reassured her. "I'll get over it. I admit that it hurts a bit, but it's my own fault after all. Have to live with it."

"Your fault?" she asked, astonishment all over her face. "How could it be your fault, Jane?"

He chuckled without humor. "I'm a jerk and everybody knows it. I've made sure that everybody at the FBI thinks, I'm nothing but an honorless, manipulative crook. You dumped one of their own for the likes of me. It's no wonder, you're ashamed of me. I understand."

Her hold of his hand grew stronger. She stopped walking and stepped in his way so he had to pause too. She pushed him into a front yard right beside them. "Ashamed of you, Jane?" she hissed. An angry furrow appeared on her brow. "What a complete pile of bullshit! I'm damn well not ashamed of you, you idiot!"

Her tone turned from furious to upset, "Cops are always extra hard on women in law enforcement and I'm just afraid of that terrible, disgusting gossip, the ugly FBI rumor mill. How people will look at me because I must appear totally fickle. And Marcus's friends will think, I only led him on and they'll say terrible things about you and me and I hate that!"

She stopped her rant to take a breath. "I'm happy, truly happy for the first time in as long as I can remember and I don't want them to destroy that for me and I'm afraid that if people see us close together, it'll make things worse and I feel really bad about it."

Eyes full of sorrow she paused. Then she added in a voice thick with emotion, "And I'm truly sorry about it because I made you watch me exchanging PDAs with Marcus and now I'm not even allowing you to give me a hug when I need one because some asshole griped about us and all I want is to be close to you and… and…"

Strong, comforting arms came around her and pulled her close. She let herself be encircled by the warmth and the calming scent of her partner. His nose nuzzled her hair. She closed her eyes and took deep breaths. "Sh. It's gonna be okay," he whispered. "The people who count won't be part of it and the rest… well… they'll get over it eventually. Maybe I'll press ahead a bit faster than I'd intended to with my plan to set up Wylie with that new agent in fraud. That's gonna take the position of top topic around the water cooler in no time, mark my words! Young, awkward love is the cutest thing ever after all, right?"

She couldn't stop the corners of her mouth from turning upwards into a small smile. "Let's hope, it'll beat old, awkward love," she mumbled against his chest.

"Hey! There's nothing awkward about this, my dear." His hands took a tender hold of her cheeks and he covered her lips with his.

They enjoyed their kiss for a while until her growling stomach reminded them of their original plan to have lunch. Hands entwined they continued on. "Did everything go well with HR?" he asked.

"Yep. Back to being a full-fledged Austin agent. They even gave me a small promotion 'cause I would have gotten a higher position in DC," she told him with a grin.

"I hope, you're not upset about going back to being a lowly special agent. I'm sorry, this –," he indicated the both of them, " – is kind of holding you back in your career."

She shook her head no. "Career isn't everything, Patrick. I have other priorities now. It still feels a bit weird at times not to be the boss, but it has its perks. Namely that I don't have to deal with stubborn, unruly, impertinent consultants anymore of course." She winked and squeezed his hand. "Well, not at work at least."

"I'm a perfectly nice and well-behaved consultant in a more private setting, agent Lisbon. So no need to worry. And while we're talking about private settings: remember that we have to leave work on time today. We're looking at that house at 6," Jane replied with a very satisfied smile.

"How could I possibly forget that? I'm looking forward to it. Oh, and by the way: I got an e-mail about that other house from the realtor saying that we can tour it tomorrow, and we can look at that apartment the day after tomorrow," she told him.

"That's great news. Though in all honesty I kind of hope that the one today is gonna be **the one**. I have a good feeling about it. In case we both like it – make sure not to show it too openly or the realtor will try to cash in on it. Just look at me and I'll know how you feel about the place. Then let me do the negotiating, okay? I know, you won't like to appear like the little hausfrau, but I'm really good at that sort of stuff," Jane explained.

She rolled her eyes. "We'll see. But I get your point. Realtors are scoundrels just like you. Takes one to play one, right?" she teased.

"Something like that. I'm pretty sure, I can get the lady to want to buy her own property in the end," he said smugly.

Lisbon snorted. "I'd hate for the realtor to become a fierce competitor for our dream house, Jane, so try to draw in your horns, will ya?"

He laughed. "Alright. I'll stop as soon as she's offering to pay her own fee and paint for us."

"That sounds reasonable." She grinned, delighted to see his happy, amused face. It made up for the sadness and self-doubt he'd obviously had to deal with all morning after she'd rejected his touch at the office.

* * *

During lunch Jane addressed the subject of PDAs at the office again. "You know, Teresa, we didn't quite finish our talk about physical contact at work. I don't want to make light of your fears but I think, you're overreacting."

He took in her reaction and when he saw that Lisbon didn't protest immediately, he continued, "I will respect your wishes if you insist but I think that changing our usual way of being around each other is going to attract more attention than just behaving like before. And I really want to be able to be relaxed around you and not watch my every move. What do you think?"

"I don't know. I really don't. I get your point. It's just that… I… when you touched me earlier, I felt a sense of panic. I…" she tried to explain.

Jane nodded. "Yeah, I noticed your tension. But what exactly are you afraid of? Maybe if you find out what it is that makes you so uncomfortable we can work on it?"

Lisbon sat in silence for a while contemplating his question. It was a legitimate one. Jane left her to her thoughts and they continued to eat in silence. Part of her reaction was probably her way of overcompensating for her behavior at the office with Marcus. At this point she couldn't really believe how many private moments she'd allowed to happen at work. It went against everything she normally deemed appropriate.

She didn't think, a friendly hug under the right circumstances or small touches to be a real problem in a working environment. But kissing was a very different matter. As a boss she would have had a few choice words for the 'culprits' if she'd seen someone on her team doing that in a public place at work. With Marcus she'd been too busy convincing herself that she was falling in love and that doing such silly things had to be a part of that. Obviously she'd stopped using her higher brain functions. And she was ashamed of it now with hindsight. Had she really turned herself into the very cliché of a giddy newly enamored girl to make herself buy into the reality of it? Was she trying to play it extra cool with Jane at work to compensate for it?

Maybe that's why she had felt the need to keep so much distance with Jane? And the verdict of public opinion only made it worse in her mind. People had seen her exchanging PDAs with one man at the office just a few days ago – in retrospect she had to admit in a very undignified way to boot. Now she was with another man. Was she simply worried about the kind of conclusions other people might draw about her personality? Was she keeping the man she truly loved from touching her even in the most casual ways because she couldn't face the blow to her pride if people assumed she was a flighty woman? And would it help the situation at all if she kept Jane at arm's length?

If she was being honest it felt a lot like Jane had to bear the consequences of her unseemly behavior at the office with Marcus. That was hardly fair. And maybe Jane was right: being overtly distant would probably only add fodder to the gossip. Maybe acting as normally as possible was the best way to deal with things. Her encounter with Marcus's ex-colleague had shown her that there'd be talk in any case. Why deprive herself of the only source of comfort in this situation?

That Jane had actually promised to accept her decision in any case helped too. He was really doing all in his power to accommodate her. She truly appreciated that, especially so because mischief and unruly behavior were integral parts of his personality and she knew, he thrived on every chance to stretch boundaries and toy with the rules. That he was ready to curb himself like that showed a lot of respect for her needs.

"I want to try to act like before," she finally told him. "I'm still working through my issues but I want us to be comfortable at work. I know, there'll be gossip and talk anyway. Won't be easy for a while, I guess. But your touches have always been a great source of comfort to me and I want that. Can't let some idiots ruin things for us, can we?"

He smiled, his eyes full of happiness. "That's the spirit, Lisbon. And who needs all these sorry people anyway? I have you, that's what counts. After all it took for us to get to this point, a few ugly words and stupid rumors shouldn't mean a thing, my dear." With a chuckle he added, "And I guess, during the next days people will be too busy talking about my shoes to take note of something as dull as your love life anyway, Lisbon. You have no idea how many people have asked me about my choice of footwear today! All that interest in my chaussures makes it almost appear like the whole FBI consists of shoe fetishists."

She snickered, grateful for his change of subject. "And they'll faint at your feet and worship you when your ankle's well again and you're finally able to wear your old ones, only no one will recognize them as such."

"Ah yes," he uttered with deep felt satisfaction. "That shoemaker on Islamorada truly did a remarkable job. My babies are in the best shape they've been since the… since the French Revolution maybe?" he joked.

"I doubt that," she replied with a straight face. "I'm sure, it was back when Julius Caesar was still Roman Emperor."

They both shared a good laugh and finished their lunch in good spirits.

* * *

The afternoon went by much like the morning with nothing but paperwork which allowed Jane and Lisbon to leave in good time for their date with the realtor. On their drive to the house Jane shared the results of his research of the day with Lisbon. "I think, I should study psychology. They have some very interesting programs about social and personality psychology. And their courses in individual differences and evolutionary psychology sound promising too."

Lisbon, who was driving, cast him a skeptical sideways glance. "You're choosing subjects based on your ability to show up the professors, aren't you?" she inquired.

He chuckled. "Well… If I have to play the dumb student, I'd at least like to have some fun in the process."

"I doubt, that you're ever gonna play any kind of dumb student, Jane. Your pride won't allow it, I'm sure," she teased. A bit more serious she asked, "Why not pick something that would really challenge you? I don't know, like learning a new language or something like that?"

"I have no idea how long that undercover mission will last. Why start something for real which I'll never be able to finish? And to be honest after two years in a Spanish speaking country with hardly any chance to talk English, I seriously don't feel like engaging in that kind of activity again any time soon," he confessed.

"And I want to concentrate on my job and that's to flush out a mole. I expect that to be a lot easier while I'm annoying the hell out of the faculty, not by playing the diligent student. Even though my methods don't always conform with nice behavior…" Lisbon interrupted him with a very un-ladylike snort. "…As I said," he continued unfazed, "my methods might not endear me to people, but I get results that way. Most people reveal more about themselves when they're agitated and thus exercise less control over their actions."

He took a deep breath. "And furthermore, the target must be someone pretty apt at disguising themselves. Someone trained and proficient in human psychology would have a lot of advantages in that respect. As long as they only know that our target is part of the College Of Liberal Arts, the Department Of Psychology is the most promising place to start in my opinion. Maybe tomorrow and with more information I'll be able to narrow it down a bit more but until then I think, that department should be my first line of investigation."

"Okay, that sounds actually quite reasonable," Lisbon admitted. "But Patrick?" She cast a short look at him and saw him nod for her to continue, "I'd really like to know what field of study you'd be interested in if you were only going with your own preferences."

"Mhm. That's a difficult one. Admittedly psychology is a subject that interests me for obvious reasons. But my first choice would be literature, I guess. I've always enjoyed reading a lot. And books contain so many different kinds of information, like the beauty of the language and its development over time, the genius of the writer, the history of the time of the work's origin, the possibility to connect the past with the present age of the reader, or how specific concepts of society are mirrored in the writing, and all the possibilities that lie in the creation of new worlds and characters, and yes, psychological aspects too because the characters have to follow approximately the same behavioral patterns as real people or we'd deem the work inconsistent and of inferior quality," Jane told her with obvious enthusiasm.

"And I love to find out how authors structure their works in specific ways to achieve certain results. It's truly interesting how different a text would become if you imagine a simple change in the point of view of the narrative. In a way, that's what I often do while pondering a case. I take the different points of view of the people involved into consideration, walk a mile in their shoes, if you want, and try to understand their actions. I aim to see the whole story behind the crime from varying angles which helps me figuring out the whodunit. It's like telling essentially the same story several times until all the parts, clues, and components have found their right places and the plot finally makes sense," he elaborated in an excited tone.

Lisbon smiled. It was nice to see that side of Jane and it gave her a small insight into the man he might've become if his past had been a different one. But she liked the man he was now and wouldn't want him any other way. Still it showed her where his true interests lay and what he'd probably be doing today if circumstances hadn't turned him first into a conman and then into the best detective law enforcement had ever seen – in her (only slightly) biased opinion. And from what he'd just told her it sounded a lot like he combined his mentalist abilities – which meant mostly human psychology – and 'creative writing' in a very unique way while solving a crime. This offered her a very interesting perspective and a good explanation for some of his schemes if she thought about it. Some of them were apparently meant to reveal a new point of view from which to tell the story behind the crime. That was a very enlightening insight into Jane's methods.

"Why don't you just make use of this chance to do something you'd really like to do?" she asked carefully. "I mean, obviously literature studies would be your main subject of interest. I'd say: go for it, Patrick. You've never been to uni. You never had the opportunity to study a subject in an academic setting. In this case with so little information to base your undercover mission on, you should pick something, you'll truly enjoy. I'm sure, you'll annoy the hell out of the professors in whatever department you'll choose. And you will surely raise attention at the college as a whole in any case."

He smiled brightly. "I'll take that into consideration. Have to wait until Dennis has more information anyway. I'm a bit surprised that you're encouraging me to be selfish like that. But thanks, Teresa. For… well, just thanks."

"I have no idea what exactly you're thanking me for but you're welcome. We can talk things through tomorrow when we know more about the details," was her warm reply. Their conversation was disrupted at that point by Lisbon's phone ringing.

* * *

It turned out to be the realtor calling to give them fair warning that the owner of the house would be present during the viewing. That wasn't usual procedure and the lady apologized profoundly for the inconvenience but she'd allowed for this exception and asked for their understanding since the owner had lost her husband and child of sixteen in a car crash three months ago. The poor widow wanted to make sure that the home in which she'd spent happy years and had seen her child grow up would go to people she approved of. Lisbon had of coursed expressed their sympathy and had told the realtor that it wasn't a problem. She found a spot to park the car close to the house and after she'd pulled in, she turned to face Jane and explained the situation to him.

"Wow, change of tactics then," Jane said afterwards. His expression was grave. "No matter what, don't say anything bad about the house in her presence," he advised. "I'm sure, we can talk about any problems with the realtor afterwards, but just… don't."

"Sh, Patrick, don't worry, okay? You shouldn't forget that I've had to sell a house with a lot of memories attached to it too. I know how much it hurts when people say condescending things about a place that means something to you," she replied gently.

"Of course you do. Sorry, sometimes I'm really dumb," he apologized.

She gave his thigh a tender squeeze. "It's alright, Patrick. The memories of my childhood home are very mixed. In the end it was unfortunately mostly the place where my father had turned into a drunk and then taken his life. It was hard to sell it but it also felt like a great relief."

"It's the same for me, you know?" he admitted. "With the house in Malibu, I mean. In the end it was nothing but a mausoleum, a hurtful reminder of those last horrible, bloody images of Angela and Charlotte, not of our happy days together. Finally selling it feels both suffocating and like a deliverance."

She gave his thigh another gently squeeze. "We'll be very kind to that woman and respect her feelings. I'm sure, it'll be okay." She sighed. "Though situations like this one make me uncomfortable. Never know how to act, what to say. I know, I should be used to it from all those years in homicide and talking to the relatives of victims. But I can't hide behind my cop persona in this case."

Jane covered her hand on his thigh and petted it. "I can do most of the talking if you want. I… I might be able to relate to her better anyway. And, Teresa?" She nodded. "The best thing is to be yourself. Don't try to say 'the right things'. It'll only come across as fake. Be open and approachable. I hated all those people tiptoeing around the pink elephant in the room. It felt like I couldn't talk to anyone because I would've made them uncomfortable. So in the end it was like I had to be the considerate one and frankly, I simply didn't have the energy and patience. And I guess, I insulted and affronted just about everybody around me as a result… well, more than usual," he confessed.

She nodded, bent over and pecked him on the lips. "Come on, we better get going or we'll be late."

* * *

Lisbon and Jane both fell in love with the place the moment they'd set foot into it. They exchanged one of their special looks, communicating without words, and knew that this was going to be their home. They'd need to modernize the bathrooms and the kitchen and also the pool and garden would need some work, but as a whole, this was a very well kept house and a lot of love had went into maintaining it, that was very obvious.

Jane had been fantastic with the widow, Lisbon thought. He'd been uncharacteristically open, had even shared a bit about his own loss with her, and the woman had visibly relaxed around them. She'd been very interested in their reasons why they wanted to buy the house and Jane charmed her with their story – well, a considerably more romantic and less dramatic version of it anyway. In the end it was noticeable how glad the widow was that her loss would mean a new beginning for someone else with a traumatic past. She expressed her relief over knowing that her home would end up in good hands.

They agreed to sign the contract already the next day.

Though she'd known him so long, Lisbon still marveled at Jane's ability to subtly manipulate people sometimes. Of course he hadn't played the heartbroken, grieving woman in this case but the realtor. And he'd done it so artfully that the clever, experienced tradeswoman thought that it was her own idea to waive the fees for the widow. Lisbon had stood by and smiled benignly while feeling almost overcome by love and fondness for her boyfriend. He could be incredibly kind and caring if he wanted to be, more than anyone – he himself included – ever gave him credit for.

They decided to celebrate their good luck of finding their perfect new home so fast with Thai food at Lisbon's favorite place on South Congress. When they had sat down and ordered their meals, she thought, how glad she was that he didn't seem to mind going there even though he knew that she'd shared meals from that very restaurant with Marcus. Even worse, he'd had to watch her kissing Marcus over Thai take out boxes in the FBI break room/kitchen. The thought made her blush.

"You all right?" he asked. Bending over to be closer to her, he quietly added with a suggestive eye-wiggle, "Or are you having indecent thoughts, agent Lisbon?"

She blushed even more at being caught, even if it wasn't in the way Jane had implied. "Something like that," was her rather vague reply.

He sensed that she was not in a teasing mood and left her to her thoughts until their drinks had arrived. They'd ordered cocktails to mark the occasion and they clinked glasses. "To our wonderful new home, my love," he said solemnly, his eyes beaming with joy.

"To our wonderful future, Patrick," she added.

The both sipped their cocktails and outmatched each other with their happy smiles. "I'll check out builders and such first thing tomorrow," Jane promised. "And we'll have to visit a home-improvement store as soon as possible and choose appliances for the bathrooms. And kitchen retailers so we can pick out our new kitchen and have it installed as soon as possible. We can do part of the painting ourselves maybe. I would like that. Makes it feel more personal, like we've been an active part of the whole process then. The pool and the garden can wait until we've moved in, right? And we need to buy furniture too. A bed, of course, and a couch. Table, chairs, closet…" he rambled enthusiastically to Lisbon's great amusement.

"I guess, you have it all well in hand, Jane," she teased. "I'll let you be the construction manager. But we'll pick out our stuff together."

"Of course, my dear. I'd suggest one bathroom with a shower, the other, bigger one with a tub. I'm a bit partial to corner baths. Makes it easier to share. But if you want a normal one, it's alright with me. Maybe a stand-alone, like a claw-foot tub? What are your preferences?" he babbled on.

She relished to watch him and listening to him making plans for their home. Yes, their home! It was hard to fathom. But his enthusiasm was infectious and she started to get really into things. By the time their food arrived, their suggestions had turned into outrageous silliness and they were giggling like mad, designing the most absurd room lay-outs.

"Oh, come on, Lisbon," Jane whined with a big grin. "What's wrong with a cow barn in the living room? Everybody loves cows. They're such tranquil, soothing creatures. And fresh milk for my tea and your coffee every morning. Oh, and a hen house. We definitely need hens! If I'm supposed to survive living with you 24/7 and remain capable of fulfilling my duties to you, I'll need lots and lots of protein."

"There won't be enough space in the living room for your cows, Jane. What with my shooting range there and all," she deadpanned, before she burst into giggles again.

His face a study in mock indignation he lamented, "No, honey, please! You can't have your shooting range there. Not that I'm doubting your abilities but just imagine, you could shoot one of the hens by accident. Or a cow for that matter. Not as easy because they're bigger than hens, naturally, and you're not such a bad shot, but still..."

She snorted with laughter and both had a hard time to calm down enough to eat.

Their waiter looked quite amused when he brought their food and told them, how nice it was to see people having such a good time and being so genuinely happy. He truly meant it too and Lisbon resolved to give him a really generous tip because she knew that at most places it would have been a lot more likely for them to have been asked to tone it down. Though they weren't that loud, they hadn't exactly been quiet either.

* * *

After their delicious meal they went back to the Airstream. Jane showed her around on the grounds of the trailer park before they turned in for good. In their sleep wear they cuddled together on the couch with a cup of tea and Jane entertained her with stories about the time when seven year old Paddy had decided that he wanted to become a star acrobat by combining tightrope walking and fire eating – a dream that had found its very fast and ultimate conclusion when the darting flame from the torch he'd built himself by attaching a gasoline soaked rag to a stick cut through the rope he'd lodged between two trees – the same rope he had also very much been standing on at the time… Unfortunately the rope had worked like a fuse and one of the trees had almost found its untimely end that day along with little Patrick's dream. He'd also sprained his arm in the fall and gotten a slight concussion… But art demanded some sacrifices after all – no reason to give up…

Lisbon had been laughing with tears running down her cheeks, picturing the cute, curly blond rascal little Patrick must've been until Jane had told her that he would most probably have made another attempt if his father hadn't given him one of the worst thrashings of his life because he hadn't been able to perform his part of their act for two days due to his injuries.

That he was telling her something like this with such implicitness shocked her and it was very sobering. He stopped talking when he saw her serious face. "Something wrong? I thought, you enjoyed the story."

"I did. Not the end of it though. Your father… he sounds like a total bastard." Her expression showed both deep anger and uncertainness of how Jane would receive such a statement.

He pulled her closer into his arms. "He was greedy and he saw no other purpose in me than making money, Teresa. He wasn't a good person. I've accepted that a long time ago. On the upside he taught me a lot – to exploit it afterwards of course, but anyway." He took a deep breath. "Angela, she wanted to leave the carnie world behind because she didn't like the notion of people either being part of your own circle or being nothing but marks. She didn't like the idea of treating other people with such disrespect. She was a genuinely good person. I on the other hand, I just wanted to get away from my father. No higher motives than that," he admitted.

"I never really stopped seeing the world in black and white – like a carnie. Pretending to be a psychic was based on that very same assumption I'd grown up with. That's why Angela hated it so much. I guess, sometimes it must have felt to her as if I had played her too, had only pretended to want to leave that world behind. In a way that's probably true too. I didn't want to or maybe simply couldn't change so fundamentally."

Lisbon entwined her fingers with his and encouraged him to go on. "I didn't know any other life. Angela had been to school. I had never spent a single day in one. I was afraid that I would fail in the real world. My pride was too big to admit that – neither to myself, nor to Angela. I wanted to be able to offer her the life she deserved. A nice house, financial security. A family. And I… I wanted to be her hero, a man she could look up to, needn't be ashamed of. She came from a carnie family several levels above the Janes after all," he added with some hesitance.

Lisbon snuggled into his chest. "Despite some of the more dubious things you've done over the years, I'm sure, she'd be very proud of the man you've become, Patrick. I know that law enforcement isn't where you'd choose to work if you had other opportunities but it's a great place for you to use your special abilities in a very meaningful way." With a tentative smile she added, "And it offers you the chance to play your mind games and trick people for a good cause."

"Thank you," he said hoarsely and pulled her even closer.

They kissed and cuddled for a while. "You know, Patrick, this undercover mission is a good chance for you to see, if given the chance, how far you would've been able to get in the, well, for want of a better word, the real world. You had to make do with what you had as a young man and you shouldn't be too hard on yourself. Without any formal education and with your background you would've truly had a hard time finding decent work despite your superior intellectual capabilities."

For once she actually welcomed his smug grin. "Yeah, yeah, you are a smart alec, Jane – I admit it even at the risk of stroking your sometimes slightly oversized ego." She pecked him on the nose. "But on a serious note: I think you should make the most of your time at the university. See how well you'd have done in an academic setting if you'd had the opportunity. You'll probably drive them all crazy, but they'll also be fascinated by your sharp wit. I know, I am," she admitted with a small blush.

"Wow, thanks for the vote of confidence, Teresa. But you know how I am with rules. I'm not sure, a structured way of learning would've ever been something I would've enjoyed. It will be an interesting experience in any case though. We'll see how well it'll work out. First and foremost, Super-Jane has to save his country after all," he stated with a broad grin.

While her answering smile was teasing, her eyes were seducing him. "Okay, Super-Jane, how about going to bed and giving me a demonstration of your super powers?" she suggested. And that's what he did…

* * *

The next morning they were asked into Abbott's office right away. The supervising agent shared the main facts of his meeting with the delegation from DC with them and concluded, "Essentially, all they know is that there's a great possibility that the spy is part of the College Of Liberal Arts. Agent Fischer was also present yesterday and I've asked her to compile a list of the facts and details we have so far which isn't much. I also managed to convince our partners in DC that it's in their best interest to let you, Jane, come up with a good cover story. It's what you excel at after all. Yeah, no need to look so smug. There must be a reason why we keep a pain-in-the-neck like you around after all."

They created the story together. With basically unconditional support from the high-ups, they had a lot of room for planning. Jane suggested to go with a version of what Abbott had come up with the day before when he'd tried to make Lisbon and Jane believe that the government was ready to sack him if he didn't get some kind of formal education. Jane would have to become someone working for a company connected to the government in some way. And to make it plausible, he suggested to send a whole group of people to college who were employed in a similar way and had no higher education. It would go over well with Washington, Jane reckoned. It had the potential to be used as positive publicity for the government's educational initiative. And it would give some people the chance to fulfill a dream.

Jane insisted that it should be offered to people who never had had the opportunity before and that they should be given the chance to graduate too. Maybe a group of about 15 people would be ideal. Since the participants would all have jobs, they could only become part-time students and would need a tailor-made program fitting with their special circumstances. And because of that Jane also suggested that the program, which he dubbed 'second-chance-education', needed a coordinator. Someone dealing with the administrative parts and who'd be there for the students as a contact person, should any problems arise. Lisbon, he concluded, was the ideal person for that. She would need an office on campus which would also guarantee that he had back-up on site.

Abbott had been highly amused. "So Lisbon's the ideal person for that, of course. Why not Fischer for example?" he asked with a grin.

"People skills, Dennis. Sorry to be so blunt but this job requires a certain level of tactfulness and that's not really Kim's strong suit," Jane explained.

"But she's especially apt at undercover work, wouldn't you agree, Patrick?" Abbott teased him with a wink.

"Not under my cover," Jane mumbled while he glared at his boss.

* * *

Some day, Lisbon decided, some day she really wanted to find out what exactly had happened between Jane and Fischer in Venezuela…

* * *

"Okay, I agree that agent Lisbon is a good choice for the job, especially so since agent Fischer might leave our team soon. She's been offered a position she's considering to take. It's not official yet, so please don't talk about it with anyone outside of the team. But I thought, I should give you fair warning," the supervising agent explained.

"And I find your idea very good, Patrick. Smart, no, canny, really. I'm sure, the bureaucrats in DC are going to love this. It's sending a wonderful message about second chances and the American dream and will show to the public that you're never too old to learn new things and all that. And the Texan governor will be delighted about this opportunity to shine with his state being the first to launch such a program," Abbott praised his consultant.

Then he eyed Jane a bit warily. "But what about you? I mean, you do know that you won't be able to finish the program, don't you? As soon as the mission is complete, you'll have to work full-time for the FBI again, I'm afraid."

Jane shrugged. Lisbon felt really bad for her partner. She didn't know exactly whether he had any wish to pursuit a higher education if he had the chance, but somehow it didn't sit well with her that he wouldn't even be given the choice. "But sir," she chimed in. "Why wouldn't it be possible for Jane? I mean, I know that cases would have to come first but couldn't he at least be offered…"

"It's okay, Lisbon," Jane interrupted her. "Thanks for your support but it's fine. I don't expect formal education to agree with me anyway. You know how I am with rules and regulations. I doubt that it'll be much fun to take trite exams and such. And I'm sure, everybody at the university will be only too glad to see me gone. Somehow I have that effect on people," he said with a grin.

Abbott was deep in thought for a while. Lisbon and Jane watched him avidly, though it appeared as if their boss didn't remember their presence in his office anymore. Then he looked up. "Your file doesn't say anything much about your childhood years, Patrick. How did you do in primary school?" he asked, a thoughtful look on his face.

"I've never set foot into any kind of school, Dennis. Apart from cases, that is," Jane explained.

"You've truly never received any kind of formal education?" the dark-skinned agent asked. "How's that even possible?"

Jane sported an indifferent expression which Lisbon could easily identify as a mask. Whether their boss was fooled by it or not, she wasn't sure about. "My father had other ideas about how to use my time," the blond man replied in a neutral tone. "And before you mention social services: we were on the move all the time. Hard for them to catch up with us. And my father was a conman. Playing cat and mice with well meaning, elderly social workers was a piece of cake for him."

Abbott cast a very serious look at him. "Would you want to get a college degree if you could, Patrick? And please, give me a truthful answer for once, okay?"

Jane sighed. "It's a difficult question, Dennis. At this point in my life I couldn't really say. When I was younger, I'd have answered with a tentative yes. Well, under pressure, that is." Lisbon was amazed to see that her partner offered their boss a true glance behind his masks.

"I was afraid of the day when my daughter would ask me about my education and I'd have to tell her what I did for a living," he admitted. "We sent her to the best schools to offer her the best chances while I, on the other hand, maintained the façade for myself that formal education was something for suckers and marks." He looked sheepish. "Well, Charlotte died before it could've become a real issue." Under his breath he added, "Maybe it will become one again in a few years. Who knows."

Abbott looked from Jane to Lisbon and back with a benign smile. "Thanks for your honesty, Patrick. And… well, we should maybe wait until we know how things work out at the university first but if you wanted to… well, to continue and to get a degree at some point, I would try to support you."

"Really?" Jane asked with honest surprise.

"Yes, really. You probably have a lot of untapped potential. I don't doubt your abilities of course. I would be a fool if I did. And I know that you have a well rounded general knowledge. Considering that the FBI is paying for your reading material according to term no. 6 of our lovely agreement," he raised his brows and cast the consultant a pointed look, "and I am the one who has to sign the bills, I do know how vast your areas of interest are. But you've probably never tried systematic methods. Might be interesting for you to have a stab at that. And it might turn out to be useful for solving crimes too. That's at least how I'm going to sell it to my bosses," he added.

"Well, thanks for the offer, Dennis. I appreciate it," Jane replied and it was obvious to both Lisbon and Abbott that this was the unvarnished truth.

The supervising agent acknowledged it with a nod. "Okay. That's it for now. I'll talk our plans for the mission through with the higher-ups. I don't expect any problems but it'll take some time to prepare this. Probably a few weeks. The program has to be designed and approved of by both the government and the university, the candidates have to be picked, the necessary financial means procured. A lot of practical matters to be solved."

"May I suggest that Lisbon and I conduct some initial research on site at some point? Get a feeling for the lay of the land, check out a few things. I could be presented as the first person chosen for the program and being asked to look into some matters together with the program's coordinator. That way we can already do some preliminary investigating and don't have to waste weeks," Jane proposed.

"Good idea. But let's not get ahead of ourselves. I have to talk with the people in charge first," Abbott replied. "But you can both continue to do some internet research and maybe work on a curriculum that could be suitable for our special program. That should keep you busy for a while."

They parted ways after that and Jane and Lisbon spent the rest of their work day reading through study regulations and university calendars. As an alumnus of The University Of Texas Wylie could contribute with valuable advice and he was only too happy to work with two of his favorite people on the team.

Since they didn't have an active case at the moment, they could all leave on time and Jane and Lisbon did so with great anticipation. They'd go and meet at the realtor's office and would sign the contract that would make them the owners of their new home.

* * *

**TBC**

**Thanks for all the lovely feedback and the continued support of this story! I appreciate every bit of feedback and encouragement and would love to hear from you.**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: This is a rather long chapter but I couldn't find a good place to divide it. I hope, you don't mind... Oh, and there are positively M-rated parts in this one, so be warned.**

* * *

**This Is Not A Drill – Nine**

The signing of the contract took place without a hitch and they even received the keys to the property right away. They bought a bottle of champagne and drove over to their new home for a little celebration and to take some measurements. Jane had already arranged the plumber and they needed to pick out the appliances for the two upstairs bathrooms as fast as possible. The ground floor was one open space with a kitchen going over into a space with room for a big dining table which opened into the area meant to be the big living room. One side of it consisted solely of windows and the big glass door leading out into the garden. A rather generous entrance hall separated the entrance door from the rest. In it there was a door leading to an extra downstairs lavatory which only contained a toilet and a small sink. The staircase leading up to the second floor also started there.

Lisbon was a bit surprised how hands-on Jane was when it came to home improvement. She'd expected him to be more the type who'd call an expert for help for everything practical. But no. Together with her he took the measurements like a pro and in no time he'd drawn an accurate sketch of the whole house. And they found out that they were a pretty good team in that respect too. They shared the champagne while discussing different options for the bathroom fittings, color schemes, tile sizes and such. Their opinions differed quite a bit and therefore they decided to get a better impression of the possibilities in a building center. Fortunately they found one which was still open at 8.30 pm.

In the end Lisbon had to admit to herself with great reluctance that Jane had impeccable taste and obviously knew what he was talking about. They went with more or less all of his suggestions after some quite heated discussions. The main subject was prizes. While Jane insisted to buy the best, Lisbon didn't want to waste so much money on needless luxury – money she didn't have. He told her again that money wasn't an issue and that he wanted for her to have exactly what she truly desired. After a while she simply gave up trying to convince him that her (cheaper) choices were what she really wanted. It was love's labors lost anyway. He looked through her efforts immediately of course and had a lot of fun pointing it out to her too until she was ready to shoot him. That his choices were beautiful and extremely tasteful only made it worse because she hated to admit that he was right and to see his smug face afterwards.

She was the one who picked out the tub though and he didn't horn in even once which she appreciated. But his restraint could well have been due to the fact that he very much approved of her choice – a big corner bath which even had two massage jets. All in all they'd been very successful though Lisbon was still a bit miffed when they left the store.

* * *

"Oh, come one, Lisbon. Don't be so stubborn. You like our choices, so what's the problem?" Jane asked during the car ride back to their temporary home – the Airstream – when her face hadn't brightened up ten minutes into the drive.

"That's not the point," she grouched. "And I'm not stubborn," she added stubbornly.

She could feel his inquiring gaze on her even though she was concentrating on the road. "Then what exactly is the point, my dear?" he wanted to know. "And you **are** being stubborn. No point denying it."

"Just get off my back, Jane. I'm not in the mood to deal with your smugness. Just shut up, will you?" she hissed.

He shrugged but kept his mouth shut. A short sideways glance confirmed that he was rolling his eyes. She felt like punching him. The silence continued until they'd arrived in the trailer park. Jane got out of the car first and went around to open the door for her. She glared at him, exited, and locked the door with more force than strictly necessary.

"Can you please stop with this?" Jane asked with a sigh when they were inside the Airstream and her face still looked thunderous. "Or at least tell me what I did to put you into such a mood? I don't think, I deserve that kind of treatment."

"I hate it when you're being a prig. Isn't it enough that you got your way? Why do you need to rub it in all the time too? You want me to feel stupid, don't you? And then you have the audacity to complain about my reaction. Well, bite me!" she ranted.

He looked totally crestfallen. She left him standing in the middle of the trailer and went into the small bathroom. While brushing her teeth and getting ready for bed, she started to calm down a bit. And she realized that she'd probably overreacted a bit. No, scratch 'probably' and 'a bit'. She'd totally overreacted. Yes, he'd been a bit smug and yes, he'd teased her about being unable to lie. And yes, he'd made it clear that he knew more about bathroom interior. But he hadn't been overly self-important about it and he'd readily accepted her wishes when it came to color schemes and such.

All in all they'd found very good compromises and she knew that their bathrooms would both be functional and beautiful with a little bit of extravagance, but far from being flashy or pretentious. They'd be exactly the way she'd only allowed herself to dream of. So what was it that had her put into such a mood? She had no idea what had made her so angry. And he was right: he hadn't deserved her ire – which irritated her even more. Okay, so maybe she was a bit stubborn. And maybe she was self-righteous too which made it very hard for her to admit that she was wrong. But she had to get over it and apologize.

* * *

He sat at the table with a cup of tea, staring into space, a shadow of sadness darkening his features. She took the seat opposite him. He looked up and studied her carefully, probably to find out what to expect. Obviously what he saw told him enough so he allowed some of his tension to leave his body. "So I'm out of the dog-house?" was his tentative question.

She nodded. "I'm sorry, Patrick," she said quietly. "I overreacted."

"Yes, you did," he replied. "And I'd really like to know what exactly rubbed you the wrong way. For future reference, you know. Because you don't come with a manual," he added calmly.

"This!" she retorted with renewed anger.

His features darkened. "What the hell is going on with you, Lisbon? Can you please just tell me? With actual words? Because contrary to popular belief, I'm not a mind reader," he countered in an exasperated voice.

"I hate your patronizing tone! I'm not some stupid little kid, okay?" she huffed.

"Frankly, right now you sound a lot like one, Teresa," he replied, brows furrowed.

She sent him a death glare. "See? You're doing it again. Smug bastard!"

He shook his head and released a breath, trying to calm himself. He got up and carried his empty cup over to the sink. "This is a pointless discussion. I'm sorry if something I said or did made you feel inferior. That was never my intention. I have the utmost respect for you."

He sighed. "All I want is for you to be happy. I want you to indulge a bit. I want our home to be the place you've always dreamed of. And I didn't want your over-developed sense of modesty to get in the way. We have the money and I want to spend it on something that will enrich our lives. You work a lot in a very demanding job and you deserve to be pampered at home. It's been a long time since I could take care of someone and it means a lot to me to be able to do that for you. That's all."

"Then why do you feel the need to crow about it all the time? Like you've won something. Like this was some kind of competition?" she inquired, still a bit miffed but a lot calmer again.

"But I don't think I did that, not much anyway," he replied quietly. "I was just happy because I could convince you to choose what you really wanted. I'm sorry it came across that way but if anything, I only overcame your modesty and I admit that I rejoiced in that."

She took a moment to ponder his words. Slowly but surely she started to realize that this was very much about a totally different subject. This wasn't even about Jane, if she was honest. No, this was about Marcus. It was about how he'd been treating their relationship like a competition. It was about his hideous reaction to her very awful acceptance of his just as atrocious proposal. She really needed to talk with him, that much was obvious. She needed to resolve some issues with him. And she had to make sure that her lingering unease about that relationship didn't interfere with her new one. Furthermore, she'd have to find out why she had such a hard time accepting when Jane actually was in the right and she in the wrong.

Lisbon got up and took the few steps over to Jane who was busy washing his tea cup and their dishes from this morning. He was tense, his shoulders rigid, his stance strained. She embraced him from behind and pressed her cheek against his back. Her hands started to draw comforting circles on his stomach. "I'm so sorry, Patrick," she said softly. "I'm dealing with a lot of issues at the moment and you got in the crossfire. You're right: you did nothing to deserve this kind of treatment from me."

She felt him relax. "Why don't you tell me what this is really about," he asked tentatively. "Maybe I can help? And talking about your problems helps sometimes – or so I've been told."

Lisbon shook her head which translated well onto his back. "I'm not sure I want to talk about it," she admitted.

He'd finished washing the dishes and dried his hands on a towel. Then he turned around and pulled her into a real embrace. He nibbled at her earlobe and then whispered into it, "I might have an inkling what this is about but I don't want to be presumptuous. I know, you hate that."

"Oh," she uttered. "What…? I mean, what do you figure, this is about?" she inquired, unsure whether she truly wanted to know the answer.

"Pike," he stated. "This is about Pike."

She looked up at him, her whole face a study in amazement. "How can you know that, Jane?"

"Apart from the fact that that's a big part of what you're struggling with at the moment, it was your wording," he explained. "You accused me of treating our decisions about the fittings for our bathrooms like a competition. I know, I didn't. At least, I'm pretty sure, I didn't. So there must've have been something else lurking in the background."

He buried his hands in her hair and played with it. "And that led me back to a conversation we had a few days ago. You told me about Pike's proposal and his reaction when you accepted it. You said that he had reacted like his favorite team had won the finales. He didn't see you or your needs, didn't even realize that you were crying at the time. So my guess is that that hurt you very much. But you can't allow yourself to really embrace that hurt because you feel like you didn't treat Pike right either. And I ended up being the convenient target for your ire instead."

"I… wow!" She looked at him with awe. "Geez, Jane! Even after all the years of knowing you, your perceptiveness will probably never cease to amaze me. I… just wow." She shook her head in disbelief. "You know, sometimes that's actually a bit eerie and I… I know, you can't read minds but it sure feels that way sometimes."

She got on her toes and gave him a peck on the lips. Then she sighed. "I think, you're right. With hindsight the whole relationship with Marcus feels like it was some kind of footrace. I'm glad, I'll meet with Marcus the day after tomorrow. I feel like there are quite a few things we need to talk about. But I'm dreading that meeting too," she admitted.

"Me too," Jane muttered under his breath, or that's at least what she thought she'd heard him say. Clearly audible this time he demanded, "Now I want to have make up sex, Lisbon. This classifies as our first real fight as a couple, doesn't it?"

She chuckled. "I guess, it does. But Patrick?" He nodded. "It's quite late already and we have to work tomorrow. It's got to be quick."

"I can do quick," he replied eagerly.

"I have no doubts about it," she retorted with an amused smile, batting her eyes.

He took hold of her hand and dragged her over to the bedroom area of the trailer.

* * *

Lisbon was already in her nightwear, meaning in one of the oversized jerseys she preferred to use for that purpose, while Jane was still in his normal clothes. Which changed at an incredible speed right before her eyes. Obviously he was embracing the 'make it quick' spirit to the fullest. She grinned and enjoyed the show from her prime seat on the edge of the foot of the bed. Her amusement turned into a totally different emotion the moment she watched his beautiful, dexterous hands unbuttoning his shirt at an alarming pace - the hands of a magician. In no time he was down to his boxers.

She cast him a come-hither look and he obeyed. He knelt down in front of her and started to kiss, lick, and nibble up the inside of her legs. Arousal sparked through her whole body like a wildfire. She wasn't wearing any panties and he groaned in appeciation at the realization the moment his ministrations let his head disappear underneath the hem of her jersey.

She opened her legs further to give him better access. Her upper body fell back on the bed until she was supporting herself on her elbows. He was just too good at that was all she managed to think. He was eating her up like no one had ever done before and the biggest turn on was to know that he enjoyed doing it nearly as much as she enjoyed receiving it. She'd never experienced that kind of sex before in her life where her partner rejoiced in giving her pleasure like that. She'd never felt so wanted in her life, so truly appreciated and desirable. She closed her eyes and lost herself in the feeling and it took a ridiculously short amount of time before she came apart, sinking fully down onto the mattress, her orgasm shaking her deep at the core of her being.

Upon opening her eyes again, she looked right into the love struck face of her partner. He'd climbed up beside her on the bed, was sitting on his haunches, and was playing with a few wayward strands of her hair. "Hi," he whispered.

"Hi yourself," she replied hoarsely. She pushed herself up on her elbows in a position somewhere between sitting and lying. It turned out to be really hard work. She felt bone tired all of a sudden, drained of all energy. A big yawn escaped her. She blushed, he chuckled.

He bent down and kissed her tenderly, then he got up from the bed. "I'll go brush my teeth and get ready for bed. You don't need to wait up for me – just sleep, my love."

"But… but what about you?" She eyed the obvious bulge in his boxers.

"Don't worry about it. I can take care of that myself," he said with a small grin.

"But… but… I… that's… that's not… fair to you. I… owe… you one," she uttered in-between yawns.

He chuckled. "Teresa, you're totally exhausted. And this isn't about keeping score. This," he indicated both of them with a hand gesture, "This is not a competition, remember? I love seeing you come. I love to watch you falling apart like that and knowing that I'm the one giving you all that pleasure. I couldn't ask for more. I love you."

"I love you too," she whispered. "So much. And I love giving you pleasure too."

"Another time, my love." He bent down again and gave her a sweet kiss. Then he took her into his arms, lifted her up, carried her over to her side of the bed, and tucked her in. She was almost asleep by the time he was finished and hadn't even had enough energy to protest much. He caressed her cheek lovingly and smiled warmly. "Good night, Teresa. Sweet dreams."

"Night, Rick. Love you," she mumbled, barely awake anymore. A moment later she was out like a light.

* * *

Obviously she'd really been exhausted because she slept like a log right until her alarm went off the next morning, an alarm she hadn't even been alert enough to set last night. She silenced it with a groan and buried her face under the comforter until the smell of coffee very close to her nostrils awakened some spirits in her. Slowly she started to leave her warm burrow with another groan, just peeking out from under the blanket first. She looked into the smiling eyes of her boyfriend. "Wakey, wakey, little grumpy-pants," he said cheerfully, making her groan again.

He chuckled, pecked her on the cheek, and set a mug of coffee down beside her on the night table. When she'd taken a few sips and felt a bit more awake, she set up and saw Jane sitting at the table busy with something or other. His phone lay beside him and he'd actually a small laptop in front of him. She shook her head to clear it because she thought she was seeing ghosts. "You own a computer?" she asked, voice thick with sleep, when her second glance didn't change the image.

"Useful little things," he said. "Though they're seriously irritating too. And I'm sure, they're stealing my soul."

"But you don't even believe in souls," she retorted.

"And isn't that just lucky? No danger then," he replied smugly.

She snorted. "It's much too early for a discussion about spirituality." She took another big sip of her coffee and moaned in bliss. "How is it possible for someone who despises coffee to make it to perfection anyway?"

"Well, I might hate coffee but I love you," he said smoothly.

She got up and padded over to him. "You're such a charmer, aren't you?" she said fondly and plopped down on his lap in a sideways position.

His arms came around her immediately and he breathed in her scent with a satisfied sigh. "Sleepy, just awake Lisbon smells wonderful."

"You're totally crazy," she retorted. "And weird. But in a good way." She snuggled into him, her head resting right underneath his chin.

He used the opportunity to nuzzle her hair and sniffed her again. "Can't help it if you smell so enticing, my dear," he stated.

"You're such a dog," she teased.

"Yep. But I'm your dog and the very dog that'll make you breakfast while you take a shower. I'd love to continue cuddling with you – but unfortunately my girlfriend is a stickler for the rules and hates being late for work. So shoo." In defiance of his words he took a gentle hold of her cheeks and brought her head into the perfect position for a deep kiss.

He tasted of Earl Grey tea with a hint of Jane and he definitely tasted of more than they'd time for. With great reluctance they separated a few minutes later and she got up and sashayed over to the bathroom, wriggling her butt in a way that made him groan.

"You're a very cruel woman, agent Lisbon, and a mean tease," he whispered into her ear, giving her quite a fright because she hadn't heard him coming up behind her. He groped her backside shamelessly for a moment until she opened the bathroom door, stepped inside and closed it into his face with a snicker.

"I want pancakes, Jane," she announced through the door. "With apples. Apple pancakes with cinnamon. And more coffee."

"A mean tease and high maintenance too." He said sighed theatrically.

She started the shower with a big grin all over her face. "Quality has its prize, Jane. You willing to pay?" she shouted over the sound of the running water.

"You know that I'm always willing to pay the extra penny to get the best," he shouted back. "Especially for you," he added.

She couldn't deny that. If nothing else their trip to the building center the previous evening was proof positive of the truthfulness of his statement – amongst others. It was a weird feeling to be cherished like that and it took some getting used to. But she decided that she'd try her best to embrace it. It had been a long time since anyone had truly made the effort of caring for her like this. She also resolved herself to return the favor: Jane needed care and pampering too and he'd get it.

* * *

A surprise awaited Lisbon when they got to the FBI HQ. Obviously her partner had had an early morning texting session with their boss to arrange that they both got the afternoon off. She couldn't believe her ears when Abbott informed them that it was okay for them to leave early, especially since they didn't have a real case to work at the moment anyway and their undercover operation was still in the first stages of planning. And that Abbott understood that she needed time to move out of her old house.

She wasn't entirely happy with Jane for not telling her about this but it was a very thoughtful thing to do and she truly needed the time. So she made do with casting him a stern glance and he had the good forethought of looking adequately sheepish. It was Friday today and she'd have to vacate the place by Sunday evening. Cho had offered her room in his basement to store her things. She'd rented a small van for the weekend which she could fetch already later that day. Now they'd be able to start loading it this evening. That was really a relief. She'd meet Marcus for lunch the next day and might not have very much time to pack because of it.

Their morning went by with more research surrounding their undercover mission and at one pm Lisbon and Jane left for the weekend. They bought take out for lunch and went over to her old place right away. Most of her stuff had already been packed but she wanted to sort through some of the boxes and remove a few items she might need before they could unpack all of her things in their new home. It would be easier to do that now than when everything was already stored in Cho's basement.

Furthermore there were a few pieces of furniture which needed to be disassembled for transport and most of her clothes were still in the closet. She'd no real idea where to put them. Not that she owned that many clothes but the Airstream didn't have much to offer when it came to storage space. Fortunately Jane had so few pieces in his wardrobe that most of it was left to her. Maybe it would be a smart idea to postpone clothes shopping for him after all, at least until they had moved into their house…

While she packed and sorted through her stuff, Jane was busy organizing things. He went to pick up the van and he also used the time to arrange things with the craftsmen who'd fix up their new place. He was also astonishingly useful when it came to dealing with her furniture. He was especially careful handling her kitchen cabinet. She had no real idea where he'd gotten them, but he'd brought along several huge, thick blankets which he wrapped around the delicate piece to keep the carvings safe after they had put it into the van. And Jane turned out to be surprisingly strong too. But considering that he was a practiced swimmer, it wasn't that strange. He insisted that carrying around furniture didn't do any harm to his foot but she made a note to herself to have a look at his injured ankle later.

They managed to get a lot done that afternoon and since they'd accomplished so much already, they decided to take a trip to a home-center in the early hours of the evening. Jane had nagged her about picking out a bed for their new home as soon as possible. She'd been a bit reluctant at first since there was still quite a bit to do in the house before they could think of moving in but he pointed out that the plumber would start already on Monday and the master bedroom only needed a new coat of paint. They could do that job on one or two evenings next week. And it wouldn't do any harm to have one less room to worry about early on.

To thank him for his hard work and support she went along with his wishes. If he wanted to look at furniture for their home so badly (and his eager look kind of gave that away), who was she to stop him?

It turned out that selecting furniture with Jane was a very entertaining pastime. They had a lot of fun looking at beds. He drove the salesman crazy with his inane questions about technical details concerning slatted frames and mattresses which Lisbon was pretty sure he came up with just for that very purpose. The poor man left after a while – allegedly to get his boss who would be better equipped to be of help, but no one came back to them and with that Jane had reached his goal: to inspect the beds in peace or in pandemonium was probably the more fitting term. He jumped on mattresses, bounced, poked, and prodded, and in the end she gave up being the adult and just went along with his antics. And she had to admit that they had a great time and got a true impression of the beds in a relatively authentic situation – a thought that made her blush on several occasions, just like his positively ambiguous suggestions in that respect.

In the end they truly found the perfect one, in fact Jane came up with the whole design for their master bedroom, including the color scheme, and she loved it. It would be airy, yet cozy, elegant and still a bit playful, and extremely comfy. It would also cost a small fortune but she tried to overlook that for once because she really, really wanted the place to look like that.

* * *

"You can be surprisingly useful," she said with a big grin on their drive back to the Airstream.

"Don't get used to it," he teased.

She chuckled. "I could probably content myself with entertaining and fun, if push came to shove."

"That I can do," he replied smugly.

They were silent for a while until he broke it. "You wanna do something fun when we get home?" he asked in a suggestive tone.

"I thought that's what we did at the home-center," she teased.

"Oh, there'll be bouncing involved too," he promised cheekily.

"I had no idea, you have a trampoline hidden in the Airstream," she deadpanned.

He laughed out loud – a sound she loved to hear. "Nice one, Lisbon. But I'll give you another hint: poking will be involved too. What do you make of that?"

"I give up. No idea what you have in mind. I'm sure, it's not something I know of," was her dry reply.

"Don't worry, I'll teach you. I'm an expert. You'll have a hard time finding anyone better at it than me," he retorted and somehow she got the feeling that there was a hidden meaning in his words.

She decided to find out. "Patrick?" He nodded. "Are you worried about my meeting with Marcus tomorrow?"

"Of course not," he replied at once.

"You know, I could use that old, boring Shakespeare quote about you protesting too much right now," she teased.

Nonchalantly he said, "Wow, you think, good ol' Bill made a quote about me? That's flattering."

"Don't try to change the subject, Jane. Won't work. So, are you worried? Please be honest," she inquired, her voice soft but insistent.

"Maybe a little," he admitted. "I know, it's important for you and in many ways also for us but the thought of you with him in any capacity makes me slightly uneasy."

She squeezed his thigh. "You know, there's nothing to be afraid of, right, Rick? We just bought our bedroom furniture together. I'm not going anywhere without you, okay?"

"You called me Rick again," he noted. "I thought that was just a slip of the tongue last night because you were so tired."

"Do you mind? I don't feel comfortable with using any of those classic pet names and I think you outgrew Paddy several decades ago," she inquired.

He shrugged. "It's fine. Will need to get used to it but it's okay. Any chance, I'll be allowed to call you Reese then?" he asked in a teasing tone.

"Don't you dare! My brothers only get away with it because it's a lost cause with them. ut I'll shoot you if you do," was her emphatic reply.

"Okay, duly noted. Though it's kind of cute. How about Tea? That would be my two favorite things wrapped into one," he wondered.

She shook her head in exasperation. "No way. You can't really hear that. It sounds like it's only the first letter of my name and that's just dopey. And be glad, I didn't come up with something as inane for you or people would have a laugh and look for the closest bathroom every time I called you Pee."

He snorted. "I guess, I'll have to work on a suitable name a bit more then. Still think, Reese is very cute and suits you."

"Last warning, mister! You know, I have several weapons stashed away in this car," she mock-scolded.

"Just saying…" He shrugged and wriggled his brows when he saw her giving him a sideways glance.

* * *

They had tea and coffee respectively and shared a bowl of ice-cream when they had arrived at their temporary home, snuggled up to each other on the sofa. Once again she admitted to herself that the Airstream wasn't such a bad place even if it was so small. With them in the honeymoon phase of their relationship being so close together felt like a real advantage actually. She'd never known herself as someone so needy when it came to physical proximity, touch, and cuddling but she couldn't seem to get enough of it with Jane.

"Terra," he whispered into her ear. "How about Terra? It's Latin for earth and to me that's the mother of all things. It's pristine, tangible, profound. Its beauty not defined by artifice but by its very being. And its natural gravity has me pulled to it while we circle the sun together. It suits you to a t – no pun intended."

She blushed. "That's… you…" she stammered. "How do you always come up with these… with beautiful stuff like that? And unique, and special. I…" She found no suitable words, just snuggled deeper into him.

"Terra it is then," he said tenderly.

"But not all the time, okay? I really love the special way you say my whole name. And when you call me 'my love' and such," she admitted, blushing even more.

"Okay," he agreed and started to play with her hair.

They cuddled for a while without talking. "Rick?" she asked some time later. "How's your ankle? I wanna take a look at it."

"Why?" he asked warily.

"You know, I'm really grateful that you've helped me so much at the house and all that. But I don't think, your ankle's really up to it even with the splint. I don't want you to aggravate your injury for my sake. I know that you want to be there for me and take care of me but I want to do that for you too, okay?" she replied gently.

He sighed. "We both know that I'm not a good patient," he confessed. "And I know that I did a bit too much heavy lifting today. But I'll be fine, my dear. No need to worry. Maybe I'll put some ice on it later."

"Let me do that for you," she begged. "Let me take care of you, please."

"If you insist," he conceded.

* * *

They decided to get ready for bed and when they were both in their respective nightwear, Lisbon inspected his injured ankle. "Looks a bit swollen," was her worried observation. "I'll get an ice pack for you. And you're not allowed to do any heavy lifting tomorrow. Please promise me that. I don't want you to hurt yourself like this, Patrick."

"It wasn't that bad today. Just felt a twinge or two. With the ice pack and everything, I'm sure, it will be fine come morning," he tried to appease her.

She cast him a very serious look. "Please, Patrick, I want you to start and take better care of yourself. For your own sake but also for mine. Can you do that?"

He nodded. "If it's such a big deal for you."

"It is." She got up and fetched the ice. She placed it carefully on his ankle wrapped in a towel. Then she started to caress his legs. "You have the nicest legs I've ever seen on a man," she stated. "Your feet are beautiful too. Elegant."

He only moaned in reply. She smiled up at him, delighted to see his ecstatic expression. He had his eyes close and looked like he was only seconds away from complete bliss. "You like that, don't you," she asked in a seductive voice, her hands stroking up his thighs, the tips of her fingers reaching underneath the legs of his shorts. "You like being touched like that. You're a lot more sensitive than most men, aren't you, Rick? I like that. You're so special and you're mine."

His moaning grew more frantic and his arousal became more and more obvious. From her position she had a perfect view of his crotch and with a self-satisfied grin she followed the developments inside of his boxers.

She teased the outline of his erection with the tips of her fingers. "You know, what I want, Jane? I want to make you so hot, you can barely stop yourself from coming. But you won't because I want you not to. At least not so soon. Because I have plans for us. I want to make love with you in that position we used the first night in this bed. It felt fantastic and it has the advantage of being kind to your ankle too. You got that?"

He nodded helplessly, shivering at her tone and her words. "I'll take off your boxers now and I'll lick, and suck, and kiss, and fondle you. And you are not allowed to touch me." He whimpered. She loved the sound.

She put her hands underneath the waistband of his shorts and pushed them down, careful with his erection. He lifted his hip to help her. She caressed his legs again while she removed the garment and was very mindful of his injured ankle. When he was spread out in front of her in all his naked glory she admired the view for a long moment. "I love every inch of you," she whispered, her fingertips ghosting over his skin, making him shudder. "You're gorgeous, Patrick. Absolutely gorgeous. Just seeing you makes me so hot for you. You want me to touch you with my mouth, Patrick?"

He released a needed whimper. "I take that as a yes." She bent down and peppered his stomach with light kisses, her hands busy stroking up and down his legs. He started to caress her back, making her stop her ministrations and scolding him, "No touching me, Jane. I told you not to." He nodded and grasped the sheets instead. "That's it, Rick," she praised him, pressing her lips to the top of his erection for a short kiss. He gasped. "Yes, just concentrate on your own pleasure for a while."

She continued her exploration of his body, stroking, licking, and kissing everywhere but at the place he needed it the most until he was a panting, whimpering, pleading mass, his erection an angry shade of red. "How far gone are you, Patrick? If I cover little Jane with my mouth now, can you promise me not to come?"

"Yesnoyes," he rambled desperately, his eyes begging her to do it. Something.

"Mhm," she uttered. "I'm not sure. I don't want you to come yet. I told you about my plans."

"Please," he pleaded.

She smiled a tender smile at him. "Okay, Rick. I want this to be pleasurable for you after all. But you'll try to control yourself, right?"

He nodded eagerly. She lowered her head and sucked the tip of his rigid shaft into her mouth, watching him carefully the whole time. It was an incredible feeling to see him relinquish himself to her so completely. And he was obviously doing his best to obey her. She was pretty sure that he'd started to breathe in a very specific manner which she guessed was meant to prevent him from coming. Biofeedback was quite a handy skill, she decided.

His whole body was flushed with arousal; to her it looked like he felt it in every fiber of his being. It drove her wild to see him like that. She wanted to be joined with him.

"I know, it's a bit much to ask at this point but could you please sit up, Patrick? I'll help you."

He looked at her as if she'd lost her mind. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to contain his arousal as best as he could. "You've just turned me into a boneless heap, Teresa," he complained after he'd taken a few deep, calming breaths. "How the hell am I supposed to sit?"

"Please," she insisted. "You can rest you back against the wall. I really want to use that position from the other day."

"Alright, alright. I knew that you'd like that one," he conceded with a smug expression. "But don't expect me to do all the work this time. You shouldn't have gotten me into this state if you wanted that."

He heaved himself up into a sitting position and scooted back until he could rest against the wall at the head of the bed. "Come here," he invited her, motioning for her to sit in his lap.

"Thank you," she said warmly. She crawled up to him, kissing his outstretched legs on the way. She was giddy with anticipation, eager to feel him inside of her. She was wet for him, had been for a while. She took hold of his erection, stroked it a few times, and inserted him carefully into her core while she sat down on his lap.

"Aaaahhhhhhhh," he groaned. "Don't move, don't move! I'm too close," he warned her in a frenzy.

"Oh yes. Oh yes." She panted. "God, you feel so good, Rick." She looked into his concentrated face. He was squinting his eyes, fighting for control. She wriggled forward a little so her chest would be closer to his, making him howl. But he managed not to come. "May I kiss you, Patrick? I want to kiss you or is it too much?"

"Kiss, yes, kiss," he rambled.

She wasn't entirely sure he was comprehending her question but she wanted that kiss and decided to go for it. She took a tender hold of his head with her hands on his cheeks and pulled him into a kiss, sucking his upper lip into her mouth with greedy passion. He groaned deep in his throat. His tongue came out to play and licked her lower lips, then wriggled its way inside her mouth.

The kissed deepened, her hands had found their way into his curls. He was caressing her back, his hands wandering down more and more until they came to a stop at her hips. He grabbed her purposefully and started to lift her up then lowered her again. Very slowly at first. They moaned into each other's mouths. She helped him along, using the strong muscles in her legs to push herself up. They had to break the kiss when their pace increased. He added a slight rotation and she screamed. It felt wonderful, just like the last time.

His movements grew frantic. "Can't keep it up for long," he pressed out. "Gonna come, baby. Gonna come soon."

"Yes, yes." She moaned, very close to the edge herself. "Just a bit, just a bit. Yes!" she screamed, coming apart at her seams. She felt like her whole being centered at her core and had just exploded into stars in all colors of the rainbow. Only at the very back of her mind did she register Jane's cry of fulfillment, the spurts of semen shooting into her channel transforming into rays of rainbow colored light in her head.

* * *

She came to lying half on top of her partner who was drawing little heart shaped figures on her cheek with the tip of his pointer finger. "Hi," he greeted her warmly when her eyes opened.

"Hi," she croaked and snuggled into him. "That was… that was…" she trailed off, unable to find suitable words.

"Yes, it was," he agreed. "We're really good at this."

She smiled. "We're really good at this? That's the best you can come up with? Quite the understatement, Jane. Are you at a loss for words for once?"

"Meh."

Lisbon snickered and started to play with a wayward curl on his forehead.

He pulled her fully on top of him, buried his hands in her hair and covered her lips with his. They shared a long, languid kiss, tongues playing lazily. She lay with her head in the crook of his neck afterwards, her fingers caressing his chest lovingly. His strong arms held her tightly and she enjoyed the feeling of being close to him, safe, and cherished. "I love you, Patrick."

"And I love you, Teresa."

They cuddled in silence for a long while, neither felt the need to talk.

"I have to use the bathroom," she complained some time later. "Don't want to."

"Afraid, I can't help you with that one, Terra. I have zero control over you, let alone your bladder," he teased.

"Unfortunately, you have more control over me than you should," she mumbled. "But not over my bladder, I guess."

She wriggled out of his embrace. "Do you want something to drink?" he asked. "I could make some tea or we could have a glass of wine. I have a rather nice bottle if you like."

"I'd love a glass of wine," she replied while she picked up the shirt he'd been wearing that day and slipped into it.

He got up and was behind her in a jiffy. With practiced ease he helped her so her long hair wouldn't get stuck in the garment and was flowing freely down her back as it should. She'd always loved these small, intimate gestures he'd bestowed on her even before they had become a couple for real. Those had been the moments that had nourished her hope that they could have a future together after Red John. They'd also given her small glimpses of the thoughtful, caring husband Jane had once been.

Jane bent down to retrieve his boxers but she stopped him. "Please don't, Rick. Your butt's too nice to be covered all the time. I want to enjoy the view."

"You just covered my two lady friends, Lisbon. Hardly fair," he whined.

"I promise, I'll remove it when I'm back in bed," she replied and made her way to the small bathroom.

He followed her on his way to the kitchen area. "Rule number one: compromise is the foundation of a functioning relationship," he stated as if he was quoting a guidebook.

"That's right," she replied through the bathroom door. "And with compromise you mean that you do as I wish, right?"

He chuckled. "Only if your wishes happen to coincide with mine, my dear. The trick is not to let you know that so you'll continue to assume that I'm doing your bidding. That's rule number two by the way."

She grinned. A muted, popping sound was audible through the door which indicated that he'd just opened the bottle of wine. The following clinking noise told her that he'd found some glasses. She could even hear the typical gurgling sound of wine being poured. It was cozy, she decided, and while the downside of it was that the Airstream hardly offered any kind of privacy, this was the palpable upside.

Strangely enough so far she hadn't felt awkward at all at the knowledge that he could hear every sound she produced inside the bathroom. She hadn't minded to hear him either. But then again she'd never been as intimate with anyone before, even with those she'd had sex with. With Jane she allowed herself to be totally unguarded and as far as she could judge, he didn't hold back in any way either. She had never felt so comfortable around anyone, probably because he made her feel so completely desirable. She'd always felt pretty at ease in her body and she was in good shape. But when he looked at her with the eyes of true love, she knew that she was the most beautiful woman in the world to him, bed head and morning breath be damned.

"You fallen asleep in there, Lisbon?" His voice right outside the door brought her out of her wool-gathering. "I'd like to take a leak too, you know."

"No. Sorry, just got lost in my mind for a moment. I'll be out in a minute."

"Take your time." She heard him step away from the door. She got ready, washed her hands, and left the small area.

He sat at the table, two wine glasses filled with a deep red liquid in front of him. He got up and passed her, giving her a peck on the cheek. "See you in a minute," he purred into her ear.

* * *

They cuddled on the couch with their wine, he with his legs up, she between them with her back to his chest, both naked – Jane had insisted. He was fondling her breasts, she caressed his thighs which put them both into a state of constant, comfortable arousal but not enough to let passion take over.

"What do you think about Fischer leaving?" she asked a while later.

"Mhm," he hummed into her hair. "Might be a good thing for her. She's not really happy on the team."

"You think so?" She was a bit astonished. To her Kim appeared quite satisfied with her position.

He nodded. He nuzzled the back of her neck and nibbled a bit there.

"Care to elaborate?" she inquired.

"Not particularly, no," he replied and continued his exploration of her nape.

"Come on, Jane," she whined.

He sighed. "I just hope that she'll find a position that suits her personality better. Working homicides, being a boss and a tough cop is a constant struggle for her. It's not easy to put up such a strong front every day."

She prepared to say something but he held up his hand to stop her. "No, not now. I will tell you about my first encounter with her another time, okay?"

"I hate it when you do that," she grumbled.

"That was really not a hard one to guess, Teresa. You've been dying to ask me about that for a while. And I will tell you. Just not now." He bit her a little harder for emphasis, but not hard enough to hurt her.

"Okay. I got the message. Is that your way of chewing me out?" They both chuckled.

A short while later she asked, "That toy wand you gave her – that was to remind her of her true personality then?"

"Something like that. And I wanted her to understand that I've seen through her and that she can't fool me with that tough façade. Well, and I wanted to let her know that I don't bear her any ill-will."

"I," she started, then sighed. With new resolve she tried again. "I felt a bit hurt back then because you'd gotten everyone a gift but me," she confessed meekly.

"I know," he answered. "Though it's not true. I got you a present. I had planned to give it to you on our trip to Gentry but then you declined my offer to accompany me. And well. You know…"

She turned her head enough so she could peck him on the lips. "That… that was a difficult time," she said quietly. Then her face lit up. "You said, you got me a present? Where is it? What is it? Can I have it now?"

He chuckled. "We're actually sitting on it," he replied merrily.

"You got me the cushions on you couch?" She furrowed her brows.

"Not exactly. It's stashed away in the compartment underneath the couch."

She got up and pulled on his arm. "Get off it already, Jane," she demanded.

He laughed heartily but did her the favor. "Sheesh, I'm looking forward to our first Christmas together." He swung open the seating of the couch and started to rummage around in the storage area underneath it. "Ah! Here we go," he announced proudly and handed her a flat, oblong parcel wrapped in red paper with white polka dots and a big, green bow on top.

He closed the compartment and they sat down on the couch again, Lisbon with the parcel in her lap and giddy with anticipation.

"I'm a bit nervous about this," he admitted.

"Why?" she asked.

"Because I already fulfilled that one, magical childhood wish of yours when I gave you the pony for your birthday. This is…mhm… The reason why I didn't give it to you in front of the others is that it has the potential to be a double edged sword – so to speak," he explained.

Extremely curious by now she started to unwrap it. "I'm sure, it's thoughtful and it comes from your heart."

He sighed and pulled her even closer into his chest. A moment later she held his gift in her hands and stared at it in awe, unchecked tears running down her cheeks. It was a antiquarian copy of a picture book. _**The Giving Tree**_ by Shel Silverstein, a book she'd gotten from her mother and loved to pieces – literally – though it had mostly been her brother James's fault that it had found its tragic end in the trash can because he'd had the splendid idea to take it with him into the bath tub. This was the very same edition she'd had as a child. "How…? Why...?" she stammered helplessly, overwhelmed by the sudden onslaught of feelings.

His hands stroked up and down her arms in a comforting manner. "She gave it to you and you loved it though she also talked to you about it a lot because she wanted to warn you. She knew, what a selfless, caring, wonderful human being you are and she was afraid that people might exploit you," he said softly. "She knew her little girl very well. I guess, she was a lot like that too."

Lisbon couldn't help it: she was crying openly now, hugging the book to her chest, reminiscing the times when Joanna Lisbon had read this book to her little daughter sitting on her lap. And had discussed the story with her. The story of a tree that gave, and gave, and gave all of itself out of selfless, unconditional love to a little boy who grew up into a selfish man. The tale started with the small boy playing with and on the tree, exploring its wonders. But when the child got older, his demands on the plant increased. First he took its apples to sell them because he wanted money. Later he cut off the branches to build himself a house, finally he chopped down the whole tree in order to build a boat – all with the tree's permission. As an old man he came back and even then the tree offered its stump for him to rest on.

"I'm sorry, I exploited you like that," Jane whispered in a voice thick with emotion. "That you gave, and gave, and gave of yourself to me and all I did was demanding more. I'm just glad, I haven't gone too far. That you're still a strong, beautiful tree full of life, blooming more wondrously every day. And I promise you that I'll care for you, my lovely apple tree. I'll cherish you for the rest of my life, Teresa Joanna Lisbon."

She turned around in his embrace and clang to him, sobbing helplessly. Jane had tears running down his cheeks too. He held her tight, the book between them, his hands drawing calming circles on her back. Her emotions were all over the place and she couldn't stop the tears from running though she was a bit embarrassed about her reaction. But she was deeply moved in so many ways that it was impossible for her to control herself for once.

"God, this is… you are so sappy, Jane," she pressed out in-between sobs, her eyes glowing with love, happiness, and affection, belying her words. "I love you. And you're the best thing that's ever happened to me, Patrick. No matter what was in the past." She wiped away her tears and tried to regain some of her poise. She looked up at into his smiling, beloved face, his soft, red rimmed, sea green eyes, the tips of her fingers caressing his cheeks. "This is the most wonderful gift I've ever received," she said in a somewhat stronger but still husky voice. "No. Actually, it's the second most wonderful one. The best one is you. Hands down."

Their lips connected in a kiss that led them back to bed and into a round of tender love-making until they both fell asleep in each other's arms – completely exhausted but blissfully happy.

* * *

**TBC**

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